A woman in one of my social circles has piqued my interest tremendously over the last few weeks. We weren't really hardcore friends or anything so I didn't have to worry about the friend zone at all. But recently, the sexual tension has been extremely apparent, and there's an endless, nearly sickening amount of flirting going on. She has gone to great lengths to show she is interested in me, and I have played all my cards right. Additionally, we are going to a formal dance together this weekend where, for reasons I won't bore you with, she has to pretend to be my fiance. She has excitedly told everyone this, and other people in our social circle have noticed that we are fast-approaching a relationship, which is my ultimate goal with her.

I don't know how to fluidly work this into my story, so I'll throw in an extra detail here: she said she likes to remain friends with all of her exes. That's respectable, honestly. I wish I didn't want to gut all of my exes and wear their skin as...I'm getting off track.

So that sounds nice, doesn't it? Things seem to be going my way. But alas, tonight happened. After class, the two of us went out to get something for dinner and we invited a mutual female friend along. No big deal. Then my girl's (I'm calling her "mine" for the sake of simplicity) phone rang. It was her ex, and he's apparently in town this week. He lives about 2 hours away and he's here to visit family.

She invited him to go with us. He showed up and was a pretty damn nice guy. In many ways he and I are very similar, except that I pretty much destroy him in the humor department. Anyway, we pretty much had a man war where we took turns pretending we gave a fuck about each other to try to seem like we weren't affected by the competition. She pretty much paid equal attention to both of us and made sure to tell him all about the dance we're going to this weekend. I can't say she paid more attention to one guy or the other.

So what's my point? I'm wondering if she is just using me to make him jealous. I've heard that she was thinking about getting back together with him and they are both open to the idea but the distance is what is holding them back - in fact, that's why they broke up to begin with. But now that I've come into the picture, I was thinking she had changed her mind on that. I'm pretty fucking nifty, you know.

What do you think? Is she using me to get him back, or was she really just inviting him out with us as a friend? And yes, before anyone says it, I have re-read my post and I realize I'm probably blowing this way out of proportion. Way out of proportion. I still want to hear what you all think, though.

Don't know what her intentions are but that was pretty damn rude of her.

Re-read this, only this time imagine you are an objective board member and this is someone else's reality.

There may be some validity to your paranoia, but regardless if you like the girl you need to forget about this ex of hers who's probably still lingering about for a reason. Instead, your focus should be on developing a positive vibe between the two of you, empowering her, becoming a potent force in her life where she'll find you irreplaceable. At the end of the day, her behavior speaks volumes and if she's agreed to accompany you to a dance, chances are she's interested, but perhaps not completely sold on notion of the two of you as a couple yet.

Keep one foot in the door, and the other outside, ready for whatever opportunity might present itself.

Snarg? Is this the "shit test" girl? If so, you have to start not giving a shit. You did well to not show any signs of that evening bothering you. It could of been test for you or it could of been a test for him. Regardless! Your state of mind will dictate her actions. Often women will put men that they are interested in, into situations where they seek to be fought for, even if just in a subtle manner. This could of very well been her own diabolical game to see who would step up.

But there is a way around all that BS. Keep showing her interest, but also show her that you are not a puppet. Make her believe you have lots of other options and basically give her the idea that if she doesn't scoop you up and stop playing games, that you will simply move on to your many many other options.

If you feel as though she is kind of stringing you along and not letting you escalate and she is still playing the "you and her are just friends" game. Start to treat her as "just a friend" that you are sexually attracted to, but start to show more interest in other women when she is around. You don't have to flirt with or hit on the other girls, but engage them and get them smiling and laughing. This will surely get you the right attention from her.

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Seduce their mind and the rest will follow.