This isn't much of a pick-up question since I've known this girl for over 3 years but still, could really help some experienced opinions here.

There is this girl I've known for over 3 years which had (and still has) a boyfriend for all those years. Since the first time we spoke I knew that she was attracted to me. She isn't the kind of girl that would cheat on her boyfriend but she does text me all the time. When going out we tend to have fun together for the whole evening in some kind of friendly/flirty kind of way.

She does mention her boyfriend now and then, but I just joke about him. For example; when talking about me sleeping at her place after I move to a different city so we can still see each other we had a text conversation along the lines of this:

- "You can sleep here, just don't try anything "
- "Ehm. Only if you don't!"
- "Haha, you flirt! I don't think X will like that."
- "Ah, the more the merrier, right? Does he not want you to have the best there is?" (straw man?)
- "So you're the best? "

Anyway, I want to stay out of the friend zone and keep things flirty. Is she just looking for attention or...? I'm not sure about all the texting, would it be better to just limit texting to arranging real life meetings?

About what I want from the girl, she's the kind of girl that I might stick with, but that might just be because I haven't had her fully committed to me yet. She's beautiful and smart. I've dated two of her girlfriends which are now obsessed with me, so that may be what intrigues her about me.

There's a lot more to tell, so if you need any more questions before providing valuable insights, please ask away. I appreciate all the help I can get!

OK, how do u know she is attracted to you?????

secondly your in the friend zone. she is happy with her boyfriend and is not interested in anything.

you may cover all the bases with social proof etc but she is not going to sleep with you.

she flirts because she is flirty and women like male attention. also u didnt do the straw man, stop joking about her boyfriend, let her talk about him. u joke when she brings him up shows he is an issue in his mind.

personally id just move on.

i may be wrong but my gf read your post and said most of this. and does a lot of this stuff with men in her life.

Do you wish to replace her boyfriend?

If so would you be okay with breaking up their relationship?

Because, you CAN get her. It seems like you are in danger of being friend zoned but not all is lost. I've posted about this before. If you really want to become the new man in her life you have to give her an EXPERIENCE...one unlike any other she has encountered with a guy. You have to approach with LOTS of value and be more Alpha than the boyfriend.

One powerful line you can use (DO NOT abuse this) to really shake her perception of the current relationship and make her reevaluate things is to paint the long term picture of marriage and a family with whoever she is currently in a relationship.

"I have a good feeling about you two...you're going to get married within X years and have X kids living in a cute house with a white picket fence."

This really scares girls and makes them feel uncomfortable. But again, only use this if you really want the girl and feel that she deserves you over the other guy...otherwise you're kinda being a home-wrecker. I do not condone it nor do I condemn it. I've done it before but karma paid me back in full so now I think twice.

With great Game comes great responsibility.

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Inner Game is everything...be Unlimited!

Seductive Instinct for LIFE

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im sorry dude, 3 years in the friend zone. u aint coming out of that in a hurry.

your telling him to do straw man. that would work. on a girl that does not know him. unless she is absolutely unhappy in the relationship and wants him to be her next boyfriend. but in that case he would already know this. because she would have told him.


he can try it your way but all she is going to do if she is unhappy is to plant a seed in her head to go out and screw someone else.

Thanks for your insights guys.
Hmm. Well, you may be right. It's the way she talks to me, gives me attention etc. For example; Last week we were at a bar where her best (female) friend was (which I've dated in the past and now doesn't want her friend to talk to me in an intimate way, we are still good by the way). She only went over to her for a couple of seconds just to come back and stay with me for the rest of the night. I know this doesn't sound like a big deal but another girl that was with me told me it she thought it was a bit strange. Als

Just for the record, I haven't had much contact throughout the past 3 years with this girl. We have our periods of texting, and then when things seems to stay where they are I stop texting back in order to prevent being friendzoned. I only meet the girl a couple of times a year and when we do, we flirt.

I think I might. I'd just like her to break up with the guy before I take things further. I don't want to be responsible (well, that's kind of hypocrite) for her cheating on her boyfriend.
Thanks. I'll think about using it. Will this not put me in the friend zone even more and show that I have no interest in anything more than being friends?

ok firstly, if you wait for her to break up with her boyfriend first, what will most likely happen is they will break up, and within one week she will have a new boyfriend, and you will be thinking... WTF?

because girls are like monkeys, they move from branch to branch, and don't let go of one branch until the have a hold of the next branch(boyfriend)

next, I find it common that girls don't talk about other guys or tell you about their interest in other guys when they are interested in you, they will hide it and avoid talking about it so that you continue to stick around them, and only will bring it up if things are getting to a point where they are worried that they will sleep with you (at this point you have to take responsibity if you want things to go further, in other words know she has a boyfriend, aknowledge it, and continue going for her while knowing)

next, if you have known her for 3 years, and you can't just openly hit on her, and touch her, and kiss her, pretty safe to assume you are fucked (not in a good way), because after 3 years it is pretty likely she feels comfortable enough with you to say anything, it doesn't mean that she is attracted they are just words, actions speak louder then words

if you want to know if she is down, just invite her over and make out with her, try to get her naked, if she brings up boyfriend, just say I know, or aknowlege you know, or ''I understand'' or what ever... continue trying to make something happen, it either does or doesn't happen, then you get to choose if you want to continue to try to escalate or if you want to continue to be her friend, but honestly you have to be willing to lose her as a friend if you want this to work out

FINALLY... you are not using strawman at all... infact you basically are strawmanning yourself,

the way it works is your build up the boyfriend, you don't build yourself up, you just make him seem better then he is while adding subtle hints of neediness, and marrige and a boring life etc., then you bring up things about you and her hanging out and having fun in the future and compare yourself and how you are not as great as her boyfriend

etc. etc.

but really strawman is gay and stupid (my opinion)

escalation > strawman

you wan't out of the friend zone, it is simple... stop acting like a friend

you have to realize though she might not see you that way or want to be with you, so you have to be willing to lose her in order to get her

GOOD LUCK

She just holds onto you for validation during times she's not getting the attention from her bf that she craves. She doesn't want anything more from you, other than to boost her ego when she's not getting her 'strokes' from her man.

Thanks guys. Huge eye opener, I guess.

It's not like we've been close friends for 3 years, we only see each other like 10-15 times a year in social circles and most times she will start to text me during the next few days after seeing me. Then, most times, we'll agree (over text) to go out to the same spot (me with my friends, she with her friends) and end up hanging out together in this flirty kind of way. You guys are right, time to stop giving her the attention whenever she feels like it and work some game on her.

PS. maybe this is just me giving myself hope that I'm not friendzoned but the only times she talks about her boyfriend is in conversations like the one in this thread's first post. It's not like she talks relationship stuff to me, thank god no.

listen man, you have known this girl for 3 years, she is fucking well aware of if she would sleep with you or not,

3 simple steps,

1)call her
2)invite her to hang out alone in a spot that you could have sex with her (I suggest a movie at your house)
3)escalate (make out with her, and try to get it in)

if she bails out and will not allow you to reach anything past makeout, safe to assume she is a giant waste of time and is not interested in you at all sexually

no game has to be ran, she knows what your personality is like, no one liners or anything will change how she views you by this point, she knows who you are and what she thinks of you

GOOD LUCK

Only chance you have is by taking a non-conventional approach.

What I mean is approach her from a different angle, not the fearful puss angle you've been coming at her all these years. Invite her out solo, and then tell her you like her straight to her face.

I actually agree with this. After 3 years nothing immediate will happen unless you switch up your approach.

If you go direct like mentioned above, you're going to have to have a POWERFUL frame. Put the cards out on the table and demonstrate a shitload of value.

STAND YOUR GROUND and tell her that you will not be her fucking buddy or emotional tampon. Use your choice of words. Just do not come off needy. "If you want to be with me this is what I require of you, if not then we go our separate ways and no harm done."

Something like that.

Best wishes,
Sep

_________________
Inner Game is everything...be Unlimited!

Seductive Instinct for LIFE

seductiveinstinct.com

All right, thanks guys. I agree on approaching from a different angle. I'll invite her over this weekend, I'll let you all know.

Short update: I (/ We) stopped texting this girl and moved to a bigger city in the last few weeks. She is now practically begging me for a "private housewarming" which I'll have somewhere during the next week.

Thing is, I actually stopped caring for this girl. I don't want to break up her relationship as I am having loads of fun meeting new people everyday. There are tons of women who are as pretty as this girl which are single and waiting (begging) for my attention.

Thanks for your advice guys, I'll be a perfect caveman when we have our "private housewarming" and will definitively keep on having fun picking up other women in the meantime.