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PostPosted: Mon Mar 05, 2012 6:08 pm 
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Hey guys
Here's the story to follow up on my previous topic i-came-across-too-clingy-vt130068.html
Thanks to Snarg and charblad and others for their responses..

So there is this girl i been dating for just over a month then things went down hill because of her ex and also me coming across clingy. Went on no contact for almost 2 weeks now and found out that she been dating this guy. However, i saw this girl at my friend's birthday party and i acted like it was all kool, came and met the group said hi to everyone including her. I didn't give her any attention or anything like that, she tried to initiate convos with me at random points and i responded to that normally. I went to do my thing, i chatted up girls, danced with girls and number closed a latin girl. I wasn't doing it to get her jealous or anything, it's just my thing. The funny thing is that, she invited her date from that week to the party and i was there, she'd been texting him all along the party. He came and i saw her with him. It hurt me all along knowing she went out with this guy and invited him to the party when i was there, it killed me when i was there, but i still danced and acted like i wasn't bothered. I know you guys gona say forget her and move on but trust me it hurts like there is no tomorrow, she obviously did it to annoy me. And speaking the truth, that guy is hated by her friends and he is no way near as good looking as myself, as i'd been told.

Now my question HOW to i make her want me again? i want her to know it's her loss not mine. I want her to feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel the pain.


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 05, 2012 6:23 pm 
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As Dr. Helen Fisher says, "The opposite of love is not hate; it is indifference."

The best scientific advice there is, is what other PUAs here have already told you: "Move on."

Love is triggered by wanting and wanting is triggered by absence or scarcity. Meanwhile, friendship is triggered by liking and liking is triggered by always being there or familiarity.

Go back to basics. Move on. Let her want you instead. If you want her to feel the pain, that means you hate her. Hate and love, as magnetic resonance imaging experiments say, are similar.

When you hate and want her to feel the pain, you lose. When you move on and become indifferent, you win. :twisted:

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Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 05, 2012 6:54 pm 
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Go back to basics. Move on. Let her want you instead. If you want her to feel the pain, that means you hate her. Hate and love, as magnetic resonance imaging experiments say, are similar.

When you hate and want her to feel the pain, you lose. When you move on and become indifferent, you win. :twisted:
Thank you for the response, and i totally agree with you on that but i don't hate her, honestly. I just want her to regret what she did and come back begging me. I did what needed doing and acted like i wasn't bothered, even before i'd left i went up to her hugged her and said bye when she was with that guy at the end of the night.

Being hurt sucks and moving on is the best solution and yeah i already have been on the talk with this other girl, but i can't help but think what goes around comes back around...


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 05, 2012 7:01 pm 
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Couldn't have said it better. You have one-itus man. You only dated her for a month. It happens to me a lot. When you really hit it off with them, start getting more friendly, then they turn in an instant. Off with some other dude. But did you know that it's the typical M.O of many types of women. What ever guy she is running off with she'll do the same to him and the next and next. When it happens you have two choices, try to get her back, most likely lose her forever or legitimately forget her and most likely be able to sleep with her in the future because she knows you don't get clingy. I have countless women I tried to get back and never did. I have women that I moved on from and ended up sleeping with for years after. Even to this day.


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 05, 2012 7:08 pm 
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Couldn't have said it better. You have one-itus man. You only dated her for a month. It happens to me a lot. When you really hit it off with them, start getting more friendly, then they turn in an instant. Off with some other dude. But did you know that it's the typical M.O of many types of women. What ever guy she is running off with she'll do the same to him and the next and next. When it happens you have two choices, try to get her back, most likely lose her forever or legitimately forget her and most likely be able to sleep with her in the future because she knows you don't get clingy. I have countless women I tried to get back and never did. I have women that I moved on from and ended up sleeping with for years after. Even to this day.
What you said makes a lot of sense, i do understand that women get bigheaded and try and play you even more if you do try and get them back. I went on the no contact and still gona keep it, i promised myself never to contact her again until she does. The reason she left things in the first place was because she wasn't over her ex but 3 weeks down the line now she's dating this guy. So my question to you how did you do it? just moved on and never contacted them? or did you contact them on the odd moments?


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 05, 2012 8:18 pm 
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...I did what needed doing and acted like i wasn't bothered, even before i'd left i went up to her hugged her and said bye when she was with that guy at the end of the night...
Women are good at reading your body signals. When you're hurt (and it shows on your posts), your body has a way of showing what you're feeling at the moment. Women can read these hurt signals.

When you're feeling hurt, look upwards and count jumping sheeps. Don't look down as looking down will make you feel emotional. In turn, those negative emotions will show in your body language.

I still have to perfect looking indifferent though by using the looking up and counting jumping sheeps method. I think the women I like most can still read my body signals when I get hurt when they pull some of those jealousy shit tests.

But in time and more practice might make us both succeed. :twisted:

_________________
Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 05, 2012 9:56 pm 
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So my question to you how did you do it? just moved on and never contacted them? or did you contact them on the odd moments?
Just don't contact them until you are over them. Or just wait till they contact you.


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 06, 2012 1:43 am 
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Couldn't have said it better. You have one-itus man. You only dated her for a month. It happens to me a lot. When you really hit it off with them, start getting more friendly, then they turn in an instant. Off with some other dude. But did you know that it's the typical M.O of many types of women. What ever guy she is running off with she'll do the same to him and the next and next. When it happens you have two choices, try to get her back, most likely lose her forever or legitimately forget her and most likely be able to sleep with her in the future because she knows you don't get clingy. I have countless women I tried to get back and never did. I have women that I moved on from and ended up sleeping with for years after. Even to this day.
What you said makes a lot of sense, i do understand that women get bigheaded and try and play you even more if you do try and get them back. I went on the no contact and still gona keep it, i promised myself never to contact her again until she does. The reason she left things in the first place was because she wasn't over her ex but 3 weeks down the line now she's dating this guy. So my question to you how did you do it? just moved on and never contacted them? or did you contact them on the odd moments?
I fucking hate it when girls do that! The whole, I'm not over my ex so I'm not ready to date...then the next week they are with some new guy! Gets on my nerves! I totally lose respect for them! The rare time when a girl gives a legit excuse then I will really respect them for it! Unfortunately it's a rare woman that does that!

I've had one that gave me the EX excuse then tried to get back with me after I went no contact for a few months. I told her straight out that her excuse was bullshit as she had started dating a guy the day after she said it. I told her that I'd lost respect for her not because she started dating again but because she was dishonest.


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 06, 2012 2:08 am 
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Go back to basics. Move on. Let her want you instead. If you want her to feel the pain, that means you hate her. Hate and love, as magnetic resonance imaging experiments say, are similar.

When you hate and want her to feel the pain, you lose. When you move on and become indifferent, you win. :twisted:
Thank you for the response, and i totally agree with you on that but i don't hate her, honestly. I just want her to regret what she did and come back begging me. I did what needed doing and acted like i wasn't bothered, even before i'd left i went up to her hugged her and said bye when she was with that guy at the end of the night.

Being hurt sucks and moving on is the best solution and yeah i already have been on the talk with this other girl, but i can't help but think what goes around comes back around...
Yeah...when you want someone to come begging to you that's usually a sign you aren't their biggest fan. Keep going out and having fun. Life rocked before you met her, and it'll continue to kick ass afterwards. It was only a year ago I was in a similar situation to yours. My ex came to a party my frat threw, but she didn't dance with her bf, oh no he wasn't even there. She grinded on every dude she could in front of my DJ setup. I just looked at her, smiled, and looked back down at my laptop. I thought I'd be jealous, as you were, and I thought I'd be hurt. But it hit me pretty early on that it was kinda sad. We had broken up nearly a year before that, she ended it, yet here she was needing a little more validation.

And let's be honest, you were doing your "own thing" to try to get her jealous. Isn't it a little hypocritical to think poorly of her for dancing and kissing her boyfriend while you're basically doing the same thing?

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PostPosted: Tue Mar 06, 2012 10:03 am 
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Thank you for the responses guys.

Haha hellhound i tried to think of the jumpin sheep last night when i started thinking about this whole thing again, and it kind of does make you laugh because you'll never see any sheeps jumping lol. Thanks for the advice bro.
Quote:
Yeah...when you want someone to come begging to you that's usually a sign you aren't their biggest fan. Keep going out and having fun. Life rocked before you met her, and it'll continue to kick ass afterwards. It was only a year ago I was in a similar situation to yours. My ex came to a party my frat threw, but she didn't dance with her bf, oh no he wasn't even there. She grinded on every dude she could in front of my DJ setup. I just looked at her, smiled, and looked back down at my laptop. I thought I'd be jealous, as you were, and I thought I'd be hurt. But it hit me pretty early on that it was kinda sad. We had broken up nearly a year before that, she ended it, yet here she was needing a little more validation.

And let's be honest, you were doing your "own thing" to try to get her jealous. Isn't it a little hypocritical to think poorly of her for dancing and kissing her boyfriend while you're basically doing the same thing?
Thank you DJ_Z for you're time and i understand what you mean exactly, yeah life was pretty awesome before she came along and what annoys me the most is the fact that she's the one who came into me first and made it clear that she liked me, it was never me who made the first move. I know she got out of a 3 year relationship less than 2 weeks before we started and i respected that and didn't push her into any relationships or anythin like that, instead i said we'll take our time and see how things go and we'll keep it as casual as she said she doesn't want anything serious yet. She kept on telling me how much she liked me and liked spending time with me :S we ended up sleeping together a few weeks down the line then 2 weeks after it all went down hill when she found out about her ex seeing someone else. She said she wasn't over him and she needs time to forget him and she doesn't want to hurt me and that she really does like me.......... Few days gone past i met her on a night out things were a bit awkward so the next day i asked her to talk about and she said they weren't awkward, i tried to ring her a few times but no answer then i get long texts from her accusing me of being clingy and crazy about her :S and to be honest i was never clingy EVER with her, i needed to sort one thing out that day and that's maybe the only time i tried to ring her more than once.

When she was there i was NOT trying to get her jealous because that feeling sucks i have to tell you the truth, and i am not that kind of guy. I kept my distance and chatted up girls but with no intention whatsoever to get her jealous because that wouldn't help.

It does help me move on now the fact that i know things aren't meant to be and that she found an ugly guy to be with so that makes me feel better about the whole thing. I heard from her friends that she told them he's a player and she's keepin her distance till she got to know him better and i know for a fact that her friends hate him, so hopefully what goes around comes back around.

I wana set my head straight on thing and i am just doing as well as i should be, already on the talk with another girl, arranged to go out for a drink sometime this week so im taking my steps to ease of myself this big mess.


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 06, 2012 2:12 pm 
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You asked me to reply here, and after reading everyone's responses I just want to say I agree with everything people have said already. Even if, at the very core, her only purpose of bringing that guy along was to toy with you (highly doubtful, but always possible), don't you think you can do better than that? Why play into a woman's childish game when you have so many other opportunities around you?

I'm glad you found someone else. Good luck to you, and if you need any help with her, you know where to ask.


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 06, 2012 2:38 pm 
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You asked me to reply here, and after reading everyone's responses I just want to say I agree with everything people have said already. Even if, at the very core, her only purpose of bringing that guy along was to toy with you (highly doubtful, but always possible), don't you think you can do better than that? Why play into a woman's childish game when you have so many other opportunities around you?

I'm glad you found someone else. Good luck to you, and if you need any help with her, you know where to ask.
Thanks for your response Snarg and i promise i will become a master at this PUA within weeks, i used to be in it a few years back but i left it but now im back and will exapnd. That's my promise to you


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 06, 2012 3:13 pm 
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dude, i know what you mean, my ex who cheated on me at the beginning of the relationship when we were exclusive could not deal with the fact of being in a monogmous relationship so she rebelled and cheated on me again when we were in a relationship.

I couldn't accept it at first because I wanted her, i had planned things whereas she felt like a dirty slut and wanted to move on.

Anyway. Girls will fuck you over in life, and you will probs mess a few girls around. It's what happens. That girl is hot, she can get any guy she wants, and she will whereas me, im getting with other girls who i can't be fucked with, whereas shes seeking attention off guys who give her bullshit, she believes it, then feels used and abused and will regret what she did to you.

Basically, youve gotta be the man, shes taken everything from you, and youve got the worst deal. The best thing you can do is move on. Grow a pair, act like a man. Why would a man want some chick who fucked him over? shes a dick and you know it. Men think differently to chicks, we want them for looks, they want us for success etc.. and if she sees you wanting her back (because she knows shes a loser and not good enough) then shes going to disrespect you and never want you back.

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PostPosted: Tue Mar 06, 2012 4:17 pm 
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dude, i know what you mean, my ex who cheated on me at the beginning of the relationship when we were exclusive could not deal with the fact of being in a monogmous relationship so she rebelled and cheated on me again when we were in a relationship.

I couldn't accept it at first because I wanted her, i had planned things whereas she felt like a dirty slut and wanted to move on.

Anyway. Girls will fuck you over in life, and you will probs mess a few girls around. It's what happens. That girl is hot, she can get any guy she wants, and she will whereas me, im getting with other girls who i can't be fucked with, whereas shes seeking attention off guys who give her bullshit, she believes it, then feels used and abused and will regret what she did to you.

Basically, youve gotta be the man, shes taken everything from you, and youve got the worst deal. The best thing you can do is move on. Grow a pair, act like a man. Why would a man want some chick who fucked him over? shes a dick and you know it. Men think differently to chicks, we want them for looks, they want us for success etc.. and if she sees you wanting her back (because she knows shes a loser and not good enough) then shes going to disrespect you and never want you back.
Thank you for the response. It sucks when girls do that to you doesn't it? especially when she came into me she was a total mess and i started dating her i made her feel a lot better about herself and he miserable life and then that's how i get repaid lol! I'm feeling a lot better now that i am focused on improving my gaming skills but i still do get the odd sad feelings everytime i think about her or about the whole situation but i guess only time will help me get over this right? only if there was a quicker way to doing this... I strongly do believe what goes around comes back around and it will back fire at her at some point, whether it's now or later....


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 06, 2012 4:35 pm 
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Iv found the best way to deal with it is looking at it in different ways

she didnt try hard enough
theres better girls out there
she didn't deserve me
shes a slut

etc... theres loads. you dont need her, you just think you do.

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