so this girl - ive known her for about 2 years and we would always hang out on weekends a lot (mostly just parties/kickbacks )- we were friends, we never really hit on each other, but at the same time I wasn't THAT close to her to not keep that possibility open .
gotta mention she is like an HB 8.5/9
I never really bothered hitting on her because she was just a good friend and really cool with each other and didn't really care to go further with it.
I always had the gut feeling though that if I REALLY wanted to, I could get her.

So yesterday I went out with a group of friends (maybe like 15 or so - she was there) , we all got super drunk and well I thought fuck it im gonna get at her.. I grabbed her at the club and we started dancing and then making out - this went on for about an hour until her friend decided to want to leave (who was her ride) so she had to go.

now I woke up today and just thought like wtf happened last night.. the thing that is making this awkward for me is that we went from being good friends to making out in one night . i'm not sure what to do now - we havn't talked since yesterday . the thing I want to know is what to do next, but maybe I should ask what SHOULDN'T I do to make things awkward..
thanks

I actually know the situation that you are in, I hooked up with my girl best friend of 3 years HB9+.. The tough part is now you have a dilemma do you continue it or have it just a one time thing. If she is a good friend as you say I would recommend talking about it, and it really shouldnt be that awkward. My experience is when I did hooked up with my friend we continued hooking up and thought we were in love, and well that was a crazy stupid mistake, so figure out what you want and communicate with her...

the thing is that i do want to continue but it's not a good idea to because I only come to my hometown for vacations since I am studying in a different city.

but point is I do want it to go further. should I text her or something? not sure what to say

You should be completely honest. "Hey, I had a good time last night. Want to go for drinks/a movie/coffee/something on _____?"

Don't play games, don't try to manipulate her, just bare yourself to rejection and hope for the best.

You need to decide if pursing a relationship with her is worth risking your friendship over. If you value your friendship a lot, don't go any farther. If you think it's worth the risk, I say go for it.

If you decide to pursue, I would text or call her and bring up that night in conversation. It will be a bit awkward, but after you get it out into the open the awkwardness will vanish, and you can decide what you want to do next.

_________________
In order to get something you've never had, you have to do something you've never done.

i've SLOWLY started trying to bring the topic in and i don't really know what to say - she's acting kinda difficult with me? or what do you guys think . this is how it's gone so far.


me: knock knock..

her: whos there..

me: the guy with the cool shoe store. haha whatsup
(my name is aldo)

her: wait I dont get it :s and nothing doin hwk watup

me: its understood by very few. that shit cray, i'm gonna go rob a bank wanna join?

her: -___- depends what bank

me: im thinking wells fargo. cant always rely on ____ (friend) to give us free beer you know
(my friend who was djing and kept giving us free beer the night we hooked up)

her: haha whatever o.0

---
thats it so far . not sure if i'm doing good or what else I should say to continue or to make her open up more . maybe i should end it cause it's starting to get a lil late or just not respond?

Dude just keep it business as usual, don't talk to her about it, that will only make things awkward.

Besides, you are the man here you're not the one who is supposed to want to have 'the talk', she is.

If she doesn't bring it up then cool bananas just keep hanging out, calling her etc. exactly like you were before like nothing happened. Let her see that you don't have any big expectations, take the pressure off her.

In time, if it's meant to happen it will happen but the worst thing you can do is try and push her into a decision right now, if she hasn't brought it up she doesn't want to talk about it. So leave it.

Then next time you guys are out if she's giving you the signals then do it again but until then play it cool, be hard to get. Continue to be the same guy she's attracted to, don't turn into Mr. Needy Moody Pants.

I'm not saying that's you at all but that's just a big mistake I see a lot of guys making in your situation

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"Stay hungry, stay healthy, be a gentleman, believe strongly in yourself and go beyond limitations.” - Arnold Schwarzenegger

that's some great advice! thanks man .

yeah I noticed just that night of hookup really changed my mentality..

if we would've never hooked up & we were having this convo i probably just wouldnt respond back.. guess thats what i'm gonna do

@ Kiernan Black I totally agree with your advice, except the part where you say "if it's meant to happen it will happen." I've learned the hard way that things generally just don't "happen." if you want something, especially a girl, you have to make it happen yourself. I've fucked up so many times in that mentality. Just wanted to throw that out there. Everything else you said is gold. I don't know why I just felt like I had to say something about this.

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In order to get something you've never had, you have to do something you've never done.

then what do you suggest should be done to 'make it happen' , in whatever situation?

I agree with your sentiment but I believe that only applies prior to crossing the line.

Something has already happened, the wheels are set in motion, if they continue to see each other and it's business as usual then it's no biggie crossing a line again that has already been crossed.

However trying to push too much too soon is only going to result in the OP 'blowing it'

The bottom line is, there is no way that pushing the envelope now is going to get them together. This is evident in her behavior, you can tell by her reactions that she is not ready to talk about the elephant in the room.

I am confident that she will be ready but she will need some time and space to get her head together.

If I was in the OP's situation I would avoid the conversation as long as I can, because in such a conversation boundaries are set and rules are made and once they are set in concrete there is no going back.

However, as things are, he can play it cool till he gets another opportunity then take action instead of words and I am positive such behavior will majorly increase the likelihood of him getting to have sex with this girl.

_________________
"Stay hungry, stay healthy, be a gentleman, believe strongly in yourself and go beyond limitations.” - Arnold Schwarzenegger

i read this thread title as:

Help! I hooked up with a two-year-old friend.

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

That one sentence just helped me a lot, actually. Thank you very much.

alright so yesterday i ended up not responding back to her text. today she initiated the contact, but is acting the same way - too serious.

I put on facebook that my friend was selling an extra ticket for the sold out concert me and him are going to - and she messeged me a few minutes later ..

her:
How much!!

me:
let me ask him
he says 40

her:
nvm...

me:
haha -.-

her:
I don't have that kind of money

me:
yea it's expensive, i bought mine for like 8 bucks right when they came out
but i think they sold out in like a day

her:
Wow
You should of told me

me:
if i knew you liked them.. haha


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and the convo just stopped there 30 minutes ago. i can feel there is a little tension. what do you guys think should happen..

Honestly, women are vain little creatures, I think that she is trying to gauge your intentions in much the same way you are trying to gauge hers.

You have a little push pull happening at the moment and this is a good thing, it means that she's at least considering you as a sexual option, if she wasn't then she would just be avoiding you and wouldn't be reaching out at all.

That doesn't mean you're in the clear though, just keep playing it cool until you actually see her again; let her doubt/wonder whether you're actually into her, then it will be relieving (rather than awkward) for her when you do show interest.

Surprise her by hooking up with her again and make her feel like she has worked for it, then, if she resists, persist. Let your actions speak for you, not your words. Don't ask for a kiss, take one.

_________________
"Stay hungry, stay healthy, be a gentleman, believe strongly in yourself and go beyond limitations.” - Arnold Schwarzenegger