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I flew to another country to see her, and whilst she did warn me just days before I was supposed to leave that maybe she was looking to take things slow and just be friends, she knew I had alreday rented a house etc.
I left being upset saying I wasnt going to just be a friend but then back tracked saying Im sure we will hang again and see what happens.
Now Ive been friendly but its been a week now without contact. This is obv unusual as we spoke all day everyday.
I dont plan to contact her but if she makes contact with me and says hi, I dont know how to respond. Some of you say ignore her which just makes me look bitter I feel others say just be short and to the point which makes me maybe look boring.
Any advice?
she is leading the frame, you are reacting to her, everything is about her, what does she want, you are living for her, how can you please her?, what can you do to win her?, how can you get her back?, what sort of secret magical technique will make her love you?, she is higher value then you, that is how you congruently see her, and as long as you do, you will sub-communicate this, she will sense it, become more and more turned off, and you become more and more needy
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Ive got that, understood that. But the whole point im on here is to ask about using a PUA technique of how to flip the attraction switch and get her to start thinking of me, why Im not giving her attention and to want me back. Thats what Im asking advice on guys. Not to simply be told forget her and move on......
think for a second, think really hard, women, are attracted to your status, your power, your confidence, your looks, now think about the elements you are trying to control in this situation to improve the attraction she has for you, immediately you can alter your status in relation to her, currently what is the god damned status you are assigning to her?, is it lowly girl who does not matter, who is at most almost on your level who takes your leadership and complies with your wants or gets ignored?, NO, the frame of this interaction is, GIRL WHO IM IN LOVE WITH AND NEED BECAUSE SHE IS IMPORTANT, now how do you think this relates to your social status in her eyes?
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Wow, I really appreciate all your insights guys....
I know I should just delete her number, forget about her and move on. Obviously there is an inner voice in me thats stopping me or trying to stop me doing this. I think its because I invested just too much time over the past months in her and I just cant bare to think that its all over. But I guess it is.
I really want to stay in touch as I know and she says the same thing we have so much fun together. But at the end of the day, I obviously am caring far too much about her or at least much more than she is about me.
Crazy how at the start I was so indifferent (crazy how that got you laid aye?) I actually preffered another girl, blew her off so many times and now Im acting like a pathetic wimp who cant stop thinking of her (crazy how that got her turned off aye?).
you don't have to delete her number, you just have to stop being needy, outline what you want, this frame you are setting is completely counter productive, you are not leading at all, you are being led, IT IS NEVER WHAT CAN YOU DO TO GET HER TO LIKE YOU, do you even understand?, that is the definition of approval seeking, DO NOT SEEK APPROVAL, it is never what you can do for her, it is what she can do for you, if you don't love yourself before others, they have more status then you do, does that make sense to you?, I know it is hard, but you have either,
1)outline directly what it is you want, and if that outline is not complied with, actively withdraw, it is not needy, it is fucking honesty, HEY I FEEL A CONNECTION TO YOU, WE COULD NEVER JUST BE FRIENDS, IF WE HAVE TO BE FRIENDS WE SHOULD NOT SEE EACH OTHER ANYMORE
2)don't outline but don't have a need to get anything, and when thing don't go your way, you guessed it, WITH FUCKING DRAW, why do you do this?, because she doesn't matter, you want some sex, you don't get that around her, so you withdraw, you don't need sex from her, but you want sex, so, she is not meeting your needs, KEY WORD BEING ''YOUR'' not ''HER'', you don't get mad and try to force her to meet your needs, or mad because she is not meeting your needs, you just don't care, and start ignoring her, does this seem needy?, only if it is because you are being bitter and want some sort of response out of her, ignore to fucking ignore, cause she is a waste of time, don't do it to win her over, sometimes a girl will ask what is up after being ignored, and you deliver option 1), HEY I FEEL A CONNECTION... ETC. she either meets the needs or does not, it is not your job to force anything, or make her feel a certain way, it does not work like that, she is not more important then you, if you feel she is, eventually she will feel she is as well
GOOD LUCK