hi guys, this is my second post on this forum and i am here because obviously i need some girl help. here's my situation, i am 18 and 3 weeks ago i started a relationship with this girl who's 17. everythig worked out well because she liked me for some time before we talked. she's my first gf btw. we went out on a few dates, i felt awesome, we hold hands, kissed, high school stuff...but a few days ago she texted me saying that she can't see me as her lover, she only sees in me a great friend i know i've been friendzoned i guess mainly because i lack in seducing her, i used to be a very shy guy and it was a great experience for me to meet this girl. since she texted me that message she still texts me asking "how are you?" and stuff like that, witch i think is better than forget about each other and never talk again. I need to know what can i do to get back with her because i don't want to be that guy that comforts her when she's bored and talk crap without being togheter. Currently i only text her when she asks something, i try to make her miss me, don;t know if it works or not, so that's my situation, any response is acceptable since i don't know to much about relationships. Thanks in advance

You cant get her. You blew your chance - said so yourself, you didn't seduce her. Live and learn, move on to the next girl and don't pass up your chance to make the move

Stop caring if its working or not.


Go out and game other girls.


Seriously, I've been friend zoned off the last 2 girls I cared about.


The one I care about now, sure I dont want to fuck it up but if she says the 'F' word I will say 'well thats weird' and move on.


I've had action once in the last 6 months but it was last week...I got a girl to come round to my house that I'd flirted with occasionally in college.


I've never asked her out, bought her a drink or anything. She was on facebook chat one night and I simply flirted and she came round 'for a drink'


An hour later she was sucking my dick.


You have to learn to care less about them....but if you do care about them then you better hadnt care if they friend zone you...if that makes sense?


Get it into your head that its their loss...their fuck up.

Yeah, I've been in a similar situation too. I felt like no other girl can possibly replace the one I lost. I was googling "getting your ex back" and stuff. Using all sorts of evil tactics... None of them worked.

After some time I met other girl who was interested in me, and realised that my inner game was wrecked! Whenever I wanted to text her I was thinking: "surely she's not gonna answer". When I wanted to ask her out I was thinking: "come on she's not even interested". It took some time before it got fixed.

So move on not because it's impossible to get her back. Move on because you've lost this girl, and you might also lose the next one if you now make yourself feel like a try-hard, let her reject you 1000 times, try out tactics that don't work, and let your inner game suffer because of this.

sundog you just descriebed my feelings right now

anyway as i really care about her and i'm sad cuz she can't see that. Eventually i'll get over this since i see i have no other options. those of you who have been in my situation will understand how hard this is for me, anyway thanks for the advices

ok, some time passed now, little time but still, i started to feel a little better until today, when i first met her after the "brake-up". It is SO HARD to see/talk to her as singles. It really sucks that i still have strong feelings about her and she just acts like we never been togheder. We met earlier today for about half a hour before she left to another city, she showed me a new tatoo on her neck that she had made just before we met and i gave her a drawing of her portrait that i made when we were togheder. During this meeting we acted just like friends...So, what i;m trying to say is what should i do? I really like her and it kills me to be arround her just as her friend X(. I think i should talk to her about this telling her what i feel and that we cannot see each other anymore since we don;t share the same feelings, or should i just continue staying in the god damned friendzone hoping one day she'll be with me again ( i know it sounds really stupid but yes, i'm that desperate ) I prefer to talk to her about this as hard as it will be, because soon she'll be maybe with another guy and i can't stand seeing her with someone else, at least not now...

sorry for any mistakes in my writing...

Ik you guys say its impossible to get her back, but at the beginning of the year, I had a similar situation, I completely blew it, and she wanted to be friends. I accepted being friends, but after not talking to her for eight months or so, we both turned up to a mutual friend's party. I just ran an opinion opener on her and took it from there, I have no idea why, but it was as if we were starting anew. I already had her number, so we k-closed before she left.

that's exactly what i'm trying to say, i don;t think it's impossible to get her back until she actually says it's impossible to have her back, maybe she just wants me to fight for her, maybe i'm very wrong, i just don't know yet so that's why i want to tell her how i feel, i just want your opinion on this since you're the experts. It will be better to never talk to her again and know we'll never be togheder than hope we'll be someday and hang arround...

Mate exactly happened to me last friday. We're going out again tomorrow. Its as if we have started again but the past has been forgotten yet you can tell we knew each other instantly.

Dude, I'm certainly not an expert. I just know what you feel because I've been through that too recently. I'll tell you something:

In march this year I got a girlfriend (the one I told you about) but then screwed up by acting needy, dependent - I just stopped being the guy who she had fallen in love with. At the beginning of April she didn't want to see me any more (although she never said anything declarative).

It all happened because - similarly to your situation - she was my first girlfriend. I was shy before etc etc - I was still in progress of learning how all this works.

Then I went for 2 months to other country where I study. I was also afraid of another guy getting her so imagine what I was feeling! I was trying to get her back by:
- apologising her for pushing too hard
- not contacting her for some periods of time and then just writing something short and sweet
- putting various stuff on my facebook
- trying to talk to her flirtatiously as I used to do before
- trying to make her recall the good times we had together
- trying to use punishment and reward

Well she did send me a " :* " once or twice, but then when I was trying to carry on from this it just didn't work. No chemistry any more. She seemed to be interested from time to time but whenever I was starting to show some interest back she would just back off.

In July I came back to my country, and on the very next day she went for holiday - 1 more month of waiting. Then in August, when she came back we met at a concert for which she invited me. Then I wanted to ask her out but it turned out that she went for holiday again.

This was crazy! I was trying and trying but wasn't getting anywhere. She was just always on my mind because of this constant trying. Especially when I was abroad - I was in a bad mood, not willing to do anything (especially studying!), couldn't look at couples walking down the street etc etc.

Then I went for a festival which she was going for, and invited me ages ago. I tried again all my tactics on her - being indifferent, being dominant, being funny, dhv'ing, talking to her seriously, asking her jokingly why is she so horrible to me - everything! Nothing worked.

And there I met another girl - we were flirting all the time and the chemistry was great. How was my previous girl behaving looking at us? She was VERY weird. But well... at that time I really stopped caring.

What happened next is irrelevant. The point is that at the end of September something similar started happening with this new girl. I showed too much interest and she didn't respond to my text, when I was trying to set up a last date before going to university for October and November. She didn't respond, and I knew what was coming so I thought: ok if she wants me she's gonna contact me eventually. I left it to her. I just let it go...

...Ok I didn't really - I was still hoping that one day she's gonna message me. But I wasn't going to do anything - no tactics, no nothing. We didn't talk to each other for 2 months and then she just wrote to me - and it was obvious from the way she messaged me, that she's still into me. We're probably meeting this weekend.

So the conclusion of this long story is that based on my experience I'd tell you that by no means you should behave as I was behaving with this first girl. Try to behave like I did with this second girl. Just let it go. Just leave it to her. Don't discuss your feelings with her. Don't discuss anything with her. Don't try avoiding her on purpose. Just don't do anything on purpose. Try not to think about her. The less she's on your mind - the better you will feel. It's still possible that she'll come back to you - maybe as in my case, maybe as in Sweep's case. But you don't want to invest emotionally in that. Maybe she'll change her mind, maybe not. Just carry on with your life. After all it doesn't revolve around her. - That's what an alpha male would do!

But before you do - are you sure about the reasons why she broke up with you?

Good luck!

when we broke up she told me in a text that if we were to meet again we should do it just as friends because she can;t see me as her lover, she can only see me as a best friend...this happened because she was my first girlfriend and i didn't know so well how to behave, i did my best anyways, we had out little emotional special moments, witch appearently didn't mean so much to her as they did to me. So thanks so much for what you wrote, it really helped me, i'll just talk to her as i would do to any girl, no feeling involved unless she wants me again and i won't involve my feelings in this anymore...