Text game questions? ASK DON DRAPER



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PostPosted: Tue Nov 29, 2011 8:16 am 
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this is what I how It went
Me: I wont tell you I am not that easy ;)
HB: Tell me..;)
ME:Oh no no , ;) my mom have warned from girls like you ;D
HB: what girls?
ME: girls who think can get anything by using their looks, anyway You'll have to earn it
HB: so what can I do to find out? :)
Me: let me hear your offer and I will think about it
HB: ok, I give up :) If you don't want to tell than don't
Me:I guess You will never know
HB: come on tell me , don't be so meen
Me:It's your hands
HB: Hands ? OK;)
Me:Yes. is it hard to believe? what's your favorite thing?
HB: Not hands ;)
Me:why not are they sweaty or something? :P
Well, I see you actually took my advice to the T. If it suits you, then good for you.

Anyway, here's a few observations that I made:

1. Good job on getting her to qualify for you, with the "You'll have to earn it" comment.

2. Nice work on holding your frame. She tested you with " If you don't want to tell than don't" and you didn't buy into her frame and stuck to your guns. Excellent.

Now, the last text was where it dropped off, and here's why "why not are they sweaty or something?". I know it was a joke as I saw from the presence of an emoticon at the end, but you really need to know that girls are a bit sensitive about sweaty hands, cracked ankles, the whole nine yards.

So, remember that for next time. Tease carefully.
Quote:
ME:Was with a friend and saw something that reminded me of you.
HB: what did you see?
ME: lil puppy wearing a sweater
HB: So you want to tell me that I look like a lil dog?! Which part of my body looks like a puppy :)
ME: Because it was cute. You're cute and I bet You got a lot of hot friends ;)
HB:Oh you are so sweet :) I also think that puppies are cute so I forgive you for that comparison ;) PS. Maybe not a lot of but... ;)

I am thinking about sending to her I glad she forgive even though I didn't Ask for it and I am happy to know that she is low-maintenance

or telling her that she should fix me up with the hottest that she got

thanks Don, I really appreciate your help .
Well, nice recovery.

Even I was a bit astounded when I read that a "lil puppy wearing a sweater" reminded you of this girl. :wink:

That aside, you need to make your choice now. You're doing well, at getting her interested and there are signs that the interest is mutual. Now, do you want to take your chances with this girl, whom you've spent time and effort over OR you want her to introduce you to one of her "hotter" friends with whom you will have to re-do the entire thing without an surety of success or failure. Also, most times women just feel obligated to meet guys their friends want them to meet, obligation is not attraction. It's a chore. And if she feels obligated, well, there's no point in going further.

Have you heard of this saying, "A bird in the hand is better than two in the bush."

Think about it.

And you're always welcome.

- Don

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 29, 2011 8:27 am 
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Quote:
Hey Don good to see you're back!!

I got a few questions.. Hope it's readable as my English isn't that good.


There's this girl who I've made out with on 3 separate occasions (2 months ago when we were on holiday, haven't seen her since as we live pretty far away). We have been skyping and texting quite a bit but each time I text her I have the feeling I'm being too much of a 'friend' and I try to compensate that by not immediately answering her (sometime even waiting a day or 2) or by trying to create some distance.

We really had something nice going at first but it seems to be slowly dying as we text and SPAM less and less (although that's with ups and downs). Last saturday we had a nice conversation through texting but the next day I didn't really know what to send anymore so we haven't talked anymore since then.

It's probably really not helping we haven't met anymore either, we tried meeting a couple of times but due to circumstances of both sides it always failed so far...

Can I still turn this around? I think I really need to rebuild the attraction we had when we were together on holiday but so far I think I've been doing a pretty shitty job! Any advice would be much appreciated :)

ps: This probably sound stupid but on some occasions when I was going out without her and being pretty drunk I sent her some random messages with her name or heart emoticons, one time she said it was cute but another time she kind of ignored me some days after I did that. I've stopped sending texts when I'm drunk all together now because they probably do more harm than good anyway, is that correct? :p


Thanks for helping!!
Well, let me begin by saying that the reason you've been "losing attraction" is because you're worried about something which you shouldn't be. "Friend Zone" is a state of mind, it's not a procedure. Thinking that just because you talk to a girl a fair amount will lead her to group you with the people she considers her friends is a silly notion. Do not think that way.

If you are attracted to her and you have the idea of you both being something different than regular friends, you will approach it a different way. The more you worry about being seen as a friend, the more distance you will create and the more distance you create, the farther she goes away from you. Don't do that.

Friends are not lovers. They behave in a much, much different way that lovers do. You need to avoid those traits and not stuff like "We talk a lot, we're getting close", there is no problem with talking a lot. Let me tell you that.

See what the dictionary tells us :


Friend

friend/frend/

Noun:

A person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically exclusive of sexual or family relations.




Lover

lov·er/ˈləvər/

Noun:

A person having a sexual or romantic relationship with someone, esp. outside marriage.


It's clear what the difference is: Sex, Romance. Friends don't offer that to their friends. You want to be more than friends. Keep that in your conversations and in your person when you talk to her and are with her.

Also, drunk texts. NEVER a good idea. Too much cheesy rom-com trash for me. Don't do that. Good decision you made to not text when drunk. Will help you in the long run.

Good luck.

- Don

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Nov 30, 2011 12:09 pm 
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Me:when are you going to take me out for a nice dinner and buy me gifts?
after 3 hours
Me:Maybe dinner and gifts are too much :P Friday we will go to grab coffe, what time should I come to pick you up?
HB:But only one thing , more than that I can't afford ;) Friday I'm busy :/
Me:so when aren't you busy?
Hb:Maybe next week :]
Me: are you always this difficult?
HB:why do you think that?
Me:do you always answer a question with another?
HB:Yes;)
Me:no you don't ;) and can't:P
Hb: I can because you like answering my questions ;) don't you? :P I'm going to bed so goodnight.



Should I move on to the next one? I have asked her twice out and she said no


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 30, 2011 3:49 pm 
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Quote:
Me:when are you going to take me out for a nice dinner and buy me gifts?
after 3 hours
Me:Maybe dinner and gifts are too much :P Friday we will go to grab coffe, what time should I come to pick you up?
HB:But only one thing , more than that I can't afford ;) Friday I'm busy :/
Me:so when aren't you busy?
Hb:Maybe next week :]
Me: are you always this difficult?
HB:why do you think that?
Me:do you always answer a question with another?
HB:Yes;)
Me:no you don't ;) and can't:P
Hb: I can because you like answering my questions ;) don't you? :P I'm going to bed so goodnight.



Should I move on to the next one? I have asked her twice out and she said no
Well, to be honest with you, seems to me that you just ploughed on with the asking her out part and after a while it turned her off. Always remember to build enough comfort before you ask her out.

And if it's not 'Yes' the first time, it rarely is afterwards.

Next her. Learn from your mistakes. Do better next time.

- Blondie

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Nov 30, 2011 3:51 pm 
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THE THREAD AND THE USER'S NAME HAVE BEEN CHANGED W.E.F. 30th November 2011.

Turned over a new leaf.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Nov 30, 2011 10:02 pm 
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My Rules:

1. Do NOT put "lol" after shit that is not funny and rarely use it when things are funny.

Most times people write "lols" because they are insecure about what they wrote; stop this trend. On another note if you feel a "lol, lmao, etc" is needed to get your point of view across then reword your text.


2. Inspire her to text you back. No one likes to read boring texts.

What's up?, Hi, How was your day?, etc. are boring texts. Also answering those questions with stuff everyone says is boring too.
Ex)
Her: How was your day?
This is wrong
You: It was alright, I went blah blah blah... No one gives a fuck.
This is right
You: Well I stopped bank robbers, ended world hunger, saved the world twice and still made it home in time for dinner.
Which seems more interesting to you?


3. Stay on a sexual note at all times with women

Once you get here it helps to build sexual tension for when you see her next.

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Sinceriously,
Serj


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Nov 30, 2011 10:09 pm 
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Quote:
My Rules:

1. Do NOT put "lol" after shit that is not funny and rarely use it when things are funny.

Most times people write "lols" because they are insecure about what they wrote; stop this trend. On another note if you feel a "lol, lmao, etc" is needed to get your point of view across then reword your text.


2. Inspire her to text you back. No one likes to read boring texts.

What's up?, Hi, How was your day?, etc. are boring texts. Also answering those questions with stuff everyone says is boring too.
Ex)
Her: How was your day?
This is wrong
You: It was alright, I went blah blah blah... No one gives a fuck.
This is right
You: Well I stopped bank robbers, ended world hunger, saved the world twice and still made it home in time for dinner.
Which seems more interesting to you?


3. Stay on a sexual note at all times with women

Once you get here it helps to build sexual tension for when you see her next.
Important post.

Thank you, Serj.

Guys jot these pointers down. They shall help you immensely.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Nov 30, 2011 11:48 pm 
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What happened to da Don Draper?? :(

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Some people are like slinkys, not really good for anything but make you smile when you push them down the stairs.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Dec 01, 2011 2:12 am 
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Quote:
What happened to da Don Draper?? :(
Don draper - Fictional Draper was named the most influential man in the world by Ask Men

Blondie - a girly name :(

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I'ma be what I set out to be, without a doubt undoubtedly, and all those who look down on me I'm tearin down your balcony, no if ands or buts, don't try to ask him why or how can he


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 01, 2011 6:25 am 
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Quote:
What happened to da Don Draper?? :(
Quote:
Don draper - Fictional Draper was named the most influential man in the world by Ask Men

Blondie - a girly name
Gentlemen.

It was just a name.

The person hasn't changed.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Dec 02, 2011 10:23 pm 
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Hey! :D

I dont really know how to frame these questions and feelings but i'm gonna try..

I've known this girl for a long time and we started talking this summer, so it's been going on for a long time. Thing is, I'm in the army right now and we started talking about the time I joined up. That means we rarely meet, but text a lot.

We're talking texts on a daily basis. I'm interested and i initiate as much as she does. Still there are a lot of things i want to change when it comes to our texts.

Good stuff: As you've written earlier, texting a lot can be a good thing, cause it's obvious she feels a strong need to talk to me. I now know her very well and think my rapport is basically through the roof, though i'm still a little uncertain about a few things.

Bad stuff: Our texts arent particularly sexual and im often having trouble making it so. I want her to know what i want from her, and while i talk to many other girls this is the girl i want. The place i'm at in the army requires a lot and i often find myself too tired to actually text "well" if you catch my drift.


Sorry if this is a long read but i hope you can give me some tips and maybe point me in the right direction here. Im trying to keep our texting interesting and sexual! :D :D :D :D :D :)


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Dec 03, 2011 3:40 am 
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Quote:
Quote:
Don ! Good to see you back

Howl Zabimaru !!

I followed your suggestion and now she is asking why im being so cool to her lately. she text me and said she miss hanging out with me, miss talking to me and etc. lol

Should i continue to freeze her out ? :D

Thanks and welcome back
It is good to hear from you, as well.

Well, it seems to me that you did take my advice to heart and mind, and it worked perfectly. Well done.

Now, from this point you need to telegraph interest, but in a way that you are saying you are not interested too. How to do that? Check this example.

Her: Why are you being so cold to me?
You: It's not my fault, (her name). I am attracted to you, but you've taken your stance and I need to remain objective. So, I have to keep you at arm's length.

You are pulling her in-then pushing her away. It's regular push-pull, in text.

Try things like that. Tell her something good, then take it away. She'll get confused as hell, but also attracted because you aren't outright open with your feelings.

Let me know how that goes.

Good luck.

- Don
Hi Luke 8)

i think i fucked this up again..
now the situation is after i went out with her again.. she turns to being cool to me..
these were the last text we had
ME: do you think that you're greedy ?
HB: yes i am .
ME: Greed is good.
HB: U r random
ME: u seems like u always forgot what you said and promised
HB: told you im forgetful.
ME: or you just dont it seriously.
HB: proven that you dont know me well enough.
ME: yea i dont know you


well i think i should just freeze her out and move on new target..

thanks


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Dec 03, 2011 7:09 am 
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Quote:
Hey! :D

I dont really know how to frame these questions and feelings but i'm gonna try..

I've known this girl for a long time and we started talking this summer, so it's been going on for a long time. Thing is, I'm in the army right now and we started talking about the time I joined up. That means we rarely meet, but text a lot.

We're talking texts on a daily basis. I'm interested and i initiate as much as she does. Still there are a lot of things i want to change when it comes to our texts.

Good stuff: As you've written earlier, texting a lot can be a good thing, cause it's obvious she feels a strong need to talk to me. I now know her very well and think my rapport is basically through the roof, though i'm still a little uncertain about a few things.

Bad stuff: Our texts arent particularly sexual and im often having trouble making it so. I want her to know what i want from her, and while i talk to many other girls this is the girl i want. The place i'm at in the army requires a lot and i often find myself too tired to actually text "well" if you catch my drift.


Sorry if this is a long read but i hope you can give me some tips and maybe point me in the right direction here. Im trying to keep our texting interesting and sexual! :D :D :D :D :D :)
Well, Hello to you too.

Firstly, well done in establishing a good, healthy rapport. It's a very important step in the whole process.

Now, to your query..

I do not think that you are incapable of sexual innuendos and direct flirting, are you?

I think you're a bit.. unsure of how to initiate it. Well, a very common way of making it sexual and direct is to inject some sex into the conversation. Maybe as a topic or something you want to get her view on or even some sex story, just try to introduce sex into the convo, and well, you will have a sexual conversation. Now, how long can you extend it, depends on the amount of mutual attraction and comfort between you and her.

Another popular way, which a lot of PUAs use is reading her comments and interpreting it in a sexual way and then putting up an innocent act and teasing her about it.

Well, try those two strategies for now. Let me know how it goes.

Regards,

Luke

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Dec 03, 2011 7:12 am 
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Quote:
Hi Luke 8)

i think i fucked this up again..
now the situation is after i went out with her again.. she turns to being cool to me..
these were the last text we had
ME: do you think that you're greedy ?
HB: yes i am .
ME: Greed is good.
HB: U r random
ME: u seems like u always forgot what you said and promised
HB: told you im forgetful.
ME: or you just dont it seriously.
HB: proven that you dont know me well enough.
ME: yea i dont know you


well i think i should just freeze her out and move on new target..

thanks
For the time being looks like a smart option. Considering the bit of conversation I've read nothing particularly stands out as "attraction" or "flirting" or "teasing" and her flat tone isn't a good sign either.

But, then again her statement of "proven that you dont know me well enough" could be due to lack of comfort between you both.

Either way, freezing out and moving on, seems like a smart choice. However, work a bit more on the comfort building stage. That is honestly, one of the most common sticking points among guys in the community. Take your time, take it slow but get it right.

Regards,

Luke

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "


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PostPosted: Sun Dec 04, 2011 4:43 am 
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F closed on a girl at a party she seemed really attached when i dropped her off the next morning. she gave me her number and i haven't texted her yet. What should i text her to hang out so we can fuck without sounding needy or anything


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