I have noticed a pattern of getting a hb's number and then I text her to go do something and she's always "busy" and I see right thru this and I would feel combative if I called her out on it. It's a habit and I've even seen it with some of my buddies doing it to me. Really DLVs me when I say "Oh ok. maybe next time" and then next time we repeat. Thoughts?

I guess it's a problem of showing value, you need to "prove" to her
that you have value so she has a reason to go out with you instead of
you being just one of the random dudes she meets everyday...

Did you talk about anything interesting when you met?
Were you needy and she gave your number just for pity or
was she actually interested?
What message did you send to ask her out ? (post the exact text and response)

Sorry. Posted a reply thinking it was another post. Deleted it and ill write again, sorry if I am confusing.

This is just a general question but I can tell you about a specific instance from what I remember.

Met this girl in the local eatery and she was reading some book and I asked her if she'd like to have lunch with me to direct open. I asked about the book and we talked about how we both share a love for historical fictions yada yada yada. I tried to DHV by talking about how i love and protect my little sisters who are really young. I ended up getting her number but I am not 100% sure it wasn't out of pity (which may say that it was). I then ran into her at a local dance club that I go to a lot. We danced and talked and stuff but I didn't really game her because I was working on some other prospects.

I sent ehr text messages saying something to the effect of "A group of friends and I are headed to *name of country dance club* (i go to a southern school where cowboy motif, two stepping is the thing...dont hate, i love it....) are you in?" and she said "no thanks, we're headed to *other club*" and I figured it would DLV if I said we could go to her club. Another time I asked her basically teh same thing and she said some b.s. answer like she was studying. Is there any way I can DHV over text message to boost chances of getting a day 2?

Hey Zac. My instincts tell me you should forget her and keep meeting other girls. I'm not claiming ninja instincts here -- I think it's pretty clear. "No thanks" is pretty clear.

But more importantly, I think it will be better for you, because she's already making you feel insecure, and she's maybe already connecting you with low value. It's hard to reverse that.

I think the best thing is to //become// high value -- by meeting other girls and letting them go without any big fuss when it's not working.

Also, sometimes they actually are studying :)

It's not a problem with this one woman because I can walk away from her. I am having a habit of this.

Okay. But you also have a habit of walking back, right? So it's not really walking away, now is it? :)

I guess you're looking for something to /add/ to get her more interested. And I guess it's possible. But I've learned that adding is much more likely to worsen a bad thing than make it better.

If someone has an idea for a paper, and the idea is bad, adding beautiful words doesn't help. Or a house -- if it has a bad foundation, the best wood on the planet doesn't make a big improvement. Or a bus with a blind driver. You wouldn't get on, would you?

I call it "the problem of adding". And it's especially bad when you don't know what's going on -- in this case, in her head.

This is why I subtract (or retreat, à la The Tao of Steve), move on, live my life, walk my dog, say hi to other girls, and leave it open for her to come back to me. (If you do this, you'll meet other girls, and the more you have, the easier it becomes, and the more relaxed you'll be, and the more attractive they'll all find you.)

Anyway, that's what I do. I guess some other guys could give you lines or tips on indirect game. That's not my specialty.

i agree with natural joe, I was in a club the other day trying to get a girl and she kept running away, so I decided to mind my own business and dance with my girl-friends, when she saw all that social proof she came to me and apologized for her behaviour.