I would post this in the relationship part but i currently don't have the power to. If any admin could move this thread that would be great, thanks.

Right i'm currently seeing a girl at uni we met up about 5 weeks ago she is a first year and i am a second. We met at a party first night out and because it was freshers and i'm staying in halls with my mate again we went out with the same crowed quite a lot for the first 2 weeks. She is 18 (i'm 22), HB9 and i slept with her 4th night we went out. I said to her after sex that i can't be exclusive at the moment but i wanted to carry on seeing her. After the 8th night out with her after sex i reinforced what i said before again that i can't be exclusive but i wanted to carry on seeing her an argument ensued because she was upset about it. I promised i would talk to her about it the next day but i bottled it and never phoned her till 2 days after she didn't answer and i ended up having to go down to her flat (she is 3 floors down) and knock on her door so she couldn't ignore me she then said she wasn't going to speak to me but i said sorry and we made up but we still never had the conversation i promised. The next night out when she was pissed we had another argument and she was shouting at me because i never spoke to her about it so she obviously was still pissed off about it. We ended up making up and the next time we slept together i said to her after that i wanted to take it slow and that i would carry on seeing her but not be exclusive and she was fine with it. We had another argument in one of the next two nights we went out.

Ok well thats the history now to the real problem the last night we went out (last thursday 13/10/2011) i got extremely drunk and was very nasty to her and her Flat mate for no reason and was a (insert swearword here all night) she didn't want to sleep with me at the end of the night (no surprise there then) and i shouted at her saying that i'm seeing 2 other girls any way and ill just call one of them up (guess that is a good idea of how drunk i was) not only that but i also called her names and din't know what i was doing. I felt really bad so brought a card and put it under there door for both of them saying sorry etc, etc. they where both fine with it or so i thought. I went and saw her on the sunday following the thursday and she was fine with me we just sat and chatted and she was her normal self and we kissed before i left etc.

Now the thursday just gone i spoke to her on facebook here is the chat.

Me: olla
i just rung you what you doing?

Her: hoiiiii
sorry was on the phonex
im just gettin ready, youu

Me: lol i just rung you on the phone
want to go tescos?

Her: know it came up but i was already on thr phone lol
ive not long got back from tescos lol

Me: lol
kk

Her: LOL
i say lol so much

Me: lol
whats your plan for tonight are you going out with your business group or staying round yours with them?

Her: just waiting for the babs group to come round then goin out later think, louise put us all on the guestlist somewhere youu?

Me: Can i come?
i do business
haha

Her: oh i dnooo
id say yeah anyday, its just i dont wanna make a bad impression really
especially when we always end up agruing
and even if we dont argue im not gonna end up speakin to many people bar you, so ill feel really rude
sorry i hope you get where am coming from

Me: Yeah it's fine you just think ill make a bad impression! haha
but no worries it's fine

Her: not you personally
i said 'III don't wanna make a bad impression'

Me: i know i was joking

Her: oh

Me: lol

Any way we ended up chatting a bit more then i said this.

Me: you should get me to come out with you tbh

Her: i know but every single time it goes wrong
i wannabe able to relax

Me: well i'm sorry you feel that way

Her: feel? its a fact and you know it

Me: can i come speak to you before i go tescos because you never got to say any thing about the night after i gave you the card
and we didn't have an argument at the ball

and that was one of the best nights i have had here
since being back

Her: okay dya wanna go for a fag outside, cause im the only one who smokes in my whole class no joke!!
well lisa does but shes older and aint comin lol

Me: ill knock on yours in 5 x

Her: okiiiepokieex
best not laugh at my rolie polie

Me: i'm not guaranteeing anything hehe
leaving now
x

Her: im ready when u r

Ok well i went and spoke to her and she wasn't giving me any thing wouldn't hug me wouldn't holed my hands when i talk to her etc etc. She was very unresponsive towards me compared to normal. I was mainly trying to be able to go on a night out and meet her course mates to be honest because i need to network. I tried asking her but she wasn't having any of it she just said we will get into an argument together and she wouldn't be able to spend her time with me which i said was cool. she then said "we still haven't had the chat about "us' when you promised you would meet me." i said "we did." She said "it doesn't count when we are drunk.
So i said "we will have it now then" i said "i want to carry on seeing you and ill try not to get into an argument with you and ill give it a proper go." She was unsure and said "i don't know if i want to commit now. I said "no i don't mean commit i mean ill see you and give it a proper go. but i can't be exclusive." She said "i'm not sure." I said "we will be friends then." She said "ok." I followed up with "can i go out with you tonight then?" she said "no etc etc." I ended up leaving half way through the conversation saying "your not giving me any thing and just arn't responding." I Left pissed off she said bye and i replied but wasn't planning to. Ended up speaking to a mate after and decided to go back down and just plead with her to go out (yes my game went out the window a long time ago but i was hell bent on going out and none of my other mates where out!) Any way she weren't having any of it even though i said i wouldn't even speak to her if we went out and that i promised i wouldn't argue with her. She got pissed off said we are already arguing and that she couldn't i said fine and left. By the way she did say some time during this argument that we could give it a go but not tonight just don't know where in the conversation it was there was a lot of two and throwing...

Any way i still want to see her but need to tip the tide somehow and i'm still pissed off i never got to go out that night. She messaged me on Facebook earlier and i just ignored it and signed off 5mins later. What do i need to do to get her back wanting me? She is only downstairs so it's likely ill see her around the halls and will be able to blank her if needed. But i think a freeze out will be the best option and say hello if i bump into her and she says hello to me but leave it at that?



Advice please.

Here are some of the options i have been thinking of.

I could just avoid her and ignore her so she knows i'm pissed off and i might get an apology.

I could just freeze out but say hello if i see her etc.

really don't know to be honest i can get girls but have problems afterwards well who doesn't right?

honestly, it sounds like you've been a dick to her...I think she's figured you out and is looking for someone better.

Cardinal Rule of Relationships: Whoever cares less has MORE power.

Despite being the person who wanted to delay commitment, you tipped your cards and gave her more power in your relationship by being needy/desperate about seeing her. You weren't Dominant, nor a challenge in her eyes; both being necessary requisites to sustained attraction. The reason she wanted to "talk" to you about it in the beginning of your relationship was because her interest level was high and your natural aloofness inclined her to try and monopolize attention from you. However, both were shotgunned after she found out your avoidance for commitment wasn't for the mysterious reason she had pondered about in her head.

A freeze out alone is not enough. At this point this chick is barely interested in you. If she's hot and in college (place where female egos get inflated due to unproportionally high concentrations of beta fawning), she'll find someone else. Freeze outs work better in RELATIONSHIPS because you already have a history, rapport, & attraction. When you don't talk to a girl who is attached/ committed to you in some way, she immediately assumes dread & anxiety (the keys to a girl's heart).

I would suggest you act more dominant, aloof, charming, carefree, and Alpha in general. Fix your body language and tone, and stop texting her like you're desperate. Instead of:

"Can i come over?"

say "Come over in 5" (Girls liked to be told, not asked and you are always more dominant when she's at YOUR place than when you're at HER place).

Besides the internal changes, I'd also recommend you build social proof as it will grant you glorious amounts of pussy at uni. You won't believe how much pussy you can get if you can get a 4.0 gpa in Astrophysics or if you can Hand-fuck the LSATs.

_________________
My Blog: www.solvemygirlproblems.com

I think i agree a bit to be honest.

Yeah she is hot and gets hit on LOADS but she puts every guy in the friend zone. I think thats what actually attracted me to her to be honest it was a challenge. I was very dominant at the start but fucked up on a night out with her and lost it all. I also wasn't speaking to my best mate and in my halls didn't have many groups of people to go out with apart from her so my need for her did actually go up a lot which is another reason why i acted like i did. I sorted that all out in the last couple of days though and have made up with my mate and resurrected a friendship with 5 HB8+'s one of which i used to see. So my need fo her has dramatically changed since i have last seen her.

I think next time i see her i'm going to ask her if she's free thursday (it's the only day she hasen't got uni in the morning the next day). If she's free ill tell her we will meet up then (almost positive she will say ok). But i know when we get back from a night out and if she is drunk she will try and start an argument about what i did the last time i was drunk etc and i'm not sure what the best way would be for me to deal with that is? Any advice would be great, thanks.

Bump.

Update. Right i ended up ringing her on Monday and she had tonsillitis so she went home for a bit i saw her yesterday on the way from uni she was across the road waving frantically i said hi she said "ill call you later but i'm late for uni now" i said "ok" Then i saw her about two hours later when i was with my mate and she was on the phone i said hi she said "i'm on the phone to my mum ill ring you in 3 mins." 2 hours later she rings me saying "so sorry i haven't rung for ages etc" (i never asked her to ring me lol) any way i said "come up mine we are going out tonight" she was like no i can't etc i said i would be down hers in an hour to chill for a bit. She rings me 40mins later saying her rooms messy etc and asking me if i needed to go to the shop and that she would come with me etc i asked her if she needed anything from the shop and she said no just that she would come with me if i wanted to go lol. I said don't need any thing from the shop and that she should come out. She was being very indecisive again so i just said i would ring her in an hour because i was busy. She rings me again like 40mins later and i just told her to come to mine because we where pre drinking she said she wouldn't come out but would come to mine for a bit. Any way she comes up mine i was like sit next to me etc she wouldn't lol any way she started saying i can't go out etc even though i wasn't asking her (just trying to get attention) so i ignored her knowing 5mins later she would just say i'm coming out. Any way she goes down to get her drink and comes back up to mine. She started asking for hugs and actually touching me (she wasn't before and she wasn't drunk yet) Any way i was being the dominante leader of the group etc and said it's time for all of us to go out etc and we all did. We went to the club and i left my ID at home and the bouncers wouldn't let me in (i never normally take my ID out) She had just gone in and came out. I said stay in there or come back with me and ill get my ID or we can go somewhere else without any one else. She basically just started an argument again and started shouting at me i said i'm not having this and just walked off she then rung me and shouted at me (I didn't realise but then shouted back when i did) she then just walked off and txt me this and i replied etc (she rung me again after the first txt message but i missed the call again)

Her - I'm so pissed with you, I've come for a drink with you when am not well and you disrespect me like that. Please don't ever bother even tryna speak to me ever again. Take care x


Me - I didn't disrespect you I told you before you decided to come out that if you start to get into an argument with me if you come out I'm leaving you. I don't deserve it and don't need it. I was trying to sort stuff out but I'm not just going to stand there and have you shout at me. I told you this before you came out, it was your choice to come out not mine, don't try and ruin my night because of it. It's out of order

Her - You forgot your I'd, then failed to apologise. Well, atleast we've established that you think it's respectful to leave a young girl surrounded by drunken idiots on her own. Please dan, show me a little bit of respect and delete my number.


Me - I did apologies TWICE! but as I said Im not having you shout at me in the street (club,halls, etc) and that's it as I said before I don't deserve it and don't need it. I told you before if you want to get in an argument you can but I ain't arguing with you. I said I'll walk you back to halls etc but you just shouted at me. So why should I bother?
And I said I would walk you back... Again you just shouted at me.... Seriously do you think I would take that and walk you back at the same time?

Her - I never shouted at you (until I called your name when you walked off,but you blanked me anyway!) so don't lie. I asked for my last bit of backie and you wouldn't give it me, it shouldn't have been a surprise when I said give it to me and let me walk home. So, you casually walked off, ignored my shouts and then my calls. What a situation, think of it as a test to show me how little you care what may have happened to me walkin round late at night on my own.

Me - I'll speke to you tomorrow if you are ok? X x

Then after i had come back for my ID and gone out again i txt her this.

I never blanked you until you where rude to me, when I heard you, you where behind me I shouted back and gave you your tobaco can you really blame me for not wanting to have an argument with you? Every week you have a go at me for some reason or another! i warned you well in advance I'm not having it! I don't need it or deserve it and that's it! but you always start! I told you I can't be arsed and if you are going to come out with me then respect that but you didn't! If you think I am just going to want you to come out so you can have a go at me then you don't know me I have already had enough! I ain't having any more shit I don't need it and that's it! I ain't some fucking lap dog if you really think I am going to care when you act a cunt then you are crazy find someone else to treat like shit! I didn't have to invite you up mine but I was nice enough to so the least I deserve is a bit of respect! I don't know what you are trying to do but you are just showing your self up as someone crazy at the moment and someone I really don't need to be around! X


Any way, opinions? Don't really care about her any more but the sex is AMAZING this chick really knows how to rock a bedroom lol and she has some hot friends i wouldn't mind meeting lol plus she has one of my favorite glasses from last night and i need to get that back from her!

bro judging from that last post u sounded way too needy im sorry to bring it to u
like you said you were dominant when u just met her so u gotta be dominant and bring her lower than your level. not apologize and shit and make excuses for everything thats beta behaviour
You say shes great in bed and how shes hot as etc but the MORE you think that way the more needy u will act.