Regardless of what you think, negotiations are being done. You can either participate or not. Up to you. Regardless of what I think, terrorism exists, crime exists, a global market exists. I can choose to be aware of things and do what I can to stay safe and comfortable or ignore reality.
And sometimes they do. Sometimes they don't. That's the reality. My point is we can influence so that THEY WANT TO.

I think you'll realize that 'negotiations' occur for all of the above as well. (Except for air, which involves involuntary muscles)
Correct. So you have two choices, find one who wants to do it or influence a girl so that she 'wants to do it'.
So I take it you never gifted a Gap card to a chick prior to taking your pants off? Sort of kidding but . . . you're still thinking like a man. I gave her an orange so I can't expect an 'apple'. Ask the female friends you have if they've F'd every guy the same way. Who did they offer up the asshole to and why only him? They don't change their ways due to whining or begging. Raise their emotions by feeding it what it needs to be fed.

kasabi,

good stuff.

my only complaint is when raising their emotions leads to talk of weddings and not talk of blowjobs, lol.

but still, great post.

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

That does make perfect sense Kasabi.
Great inputs from Ezo and you also Mac2.0 (y)

In which case, I think her and I are good in terms of foreplay
Thanks

Honestly...I think that is not the way man should think.

I give oranges, so I want oranges. We're all guilty of that, but isn't it a bit pathetic way to live? To me there are 2 kinds of relationships i want in my life:

romantic and non-romantic.

Non-romantic:

partnership, friendship, family, every other person on the street.

Requirements: Connection( Honesty, Trust, Respect).

Romantic relationships:

Requirements: Connection(Honesty, Trust, Respect), Desire(at first looks and then femininity of the girl).

Pleasing each other, and doing nice things without second thought. That is what Connection is for. Without these two(Connection and Desire), I don't believe a relationship can be successful.

Bingo.

So all I'm urging you to think about is try doing things that SHE considers "nice". Just because you highly value her sucking you off and swallowing your spunk, it doesn't me that she does. And it doesn't necessarily mean she highly values being reciprocated in the same way. And with this, I am suggesting that you let her know the things you value. This is an act of creating connection and desire. Doing things 'without a second thought' is another way to say 'habitual behavior'. Do this enough so that it becomes a habit for both parties.

there is a difference between:

1. i suck you off, why won't you suck me off?

and

2. i really love pleasing her, why doesn't she want to please me?

i think some of the threads in this conversation may be intentionally skewing this...

/two cents

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

Exactly. I think that summarizes the mix up in communication perfectly.

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Jazzy Jeff: "My love for you is like a river,
Like a summer breeze that makes my soul shiver,
One look from you is more precious than gold,
Let's grab some BBQ and go get busy!"

Kasabi, this is well said. I would elaborate and complicate a bit however...

Yes, we inhabit a field of on-going negotiations--not just with girls, but with everyone we encounter--and yes sex along with emotion-work, financial and material considerations, housework and yadditty-yaddity are all in the mix. This is, in fact, "natural" for h. sapiens and apparently for other social anthropoids as well. Watch some videos of bonobos if you doubt it and see the males offering a carefully laden branch of foodstuff in exchange for sex.

But, not only are girls (women, people) different from each other, they are different from themselves. And so are men. Sometimes sex is a high drive, high priority object, sometimes its more of a "take it or leave" it proposition, and occasionally it "I'd rather chew on aluminum than have sex with you,"--though usually you have to be in an intimate relationship with someone for it to reach that point.

What this means is that you not only have to negotiate with each particular woman, you can't assume that what you have negotiated in the past will remain optimal for everyone involved. Speaking particularly of sex, many women vary considerably over the course of their monthly cycle in terms of their sex-drive as well as their drive for emotionally-charged touch.

Finally, though women (like men) do tend to have somewhat stable sexual preferences and styles, people can learn and change. Personally, to the extent I have a "type" of woman I am most attracted to, it's someone who wants to explore, learn, and experience how sex in different modalities affects her and is unafraid to admit she likes the changes.

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Cuts like a knife

thanks. thought i was the only one... lol

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!