Hey man, sorry if I offended you in some way... it's actually an interesting point, some people are born gay and that doesn't make any evolutionary sense, maybe some (10%) are born monogamous? What the hell do I know.

Not sure why you'd want to use the 'norm' as a reference for what is good.

Poly___ might or might never be the norm. International trade is only the 'norm' for the few people who practice and advocate this practice. Shitting in a toilet is only the norm for the people who practice it.

I feel the OP is making a few common mistakes. He assumes that since he found something that gives him a boner, it will give others boners as well. This is simply not true. He also assumes that he CHOSE this path. I would say that for a great majority of people, the PATH chooses us.

His background, childhood, his loves, fears, hates, issues, etc . . . are unique to him. This is the foundation for his path here and now. For now, this poly____ path shoots him up with some endorphins. Hurray for him.

You seem like a history/culture buff. Monogamy is also UNNATURAL. If it was natural, why would our society make polygamy ILLEGAL? Polygamists in most cultures can be brought to trial for committing a CRIME. Why do we need to regulate this crap and who regulates it?

For one thing . . . historically speaking, those in position of power have ALL enjoyed a harem of women. Dictators, presidents, and even celibacy advocating Buddhist monks have enjoyed sticking their tongues/fingers/cocks way deep inside multiple vagina. These guys are the ones who advocate monogamy and even CELIBACY to others right? . . . why?

To realize our own karmic path, we need to step outside of norms and laws created by others for their own benefit. I don't feel this is a 'societal issue' but a personal/spiritual issue that we need to address on our own.

no, you didn't offend me. and i would say you are probably right. some small percentage are naturally inclined toward monogamy. which is why sweeping generalizations about "the way things are" really don't apply. because human behavior is so complicated and dependent on so many different factors.

i agree with you, in part, that there is a part of my brain that is inclined toward fucking every female within firing range of my cock. i am very well aware of that part of myself. the difference is, for me, i have this other part that allows me to prioritize a great relationship as more important than constantly wetting my cock in strange pussy. lol.

_________________
what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

Yeah Kasabi your probably right, wrong wording there from me
I mean to say the most common practice.

And you definitively make a good point regarding social stigma, people generally react with some hostility to attitudes that are the antithesis of the way they see their world, usually - they either try convert them or repress/eliminate them. I may not like someone elses way of life but I respect their choice, it's not my right to repress or say otherwise.

As I said before the variety of sexuality today is rather abundant, society affords it to be, I dont see that changing anytime soon. I certainly dont have a problem with people having different preferences. As to whether I am a extoller of monogamous virtues, hardly, I do what I do as long as I find contentment not happiness.

Mack Bro, how come we are the only ones here who were in a very long LTR and both of us got screwed by lunatics? Is that a coincidence? Or perhaps the LTR is what "fucked up" our girls in the first place?

My girl wasn't that bad when we met... it got worse over the years, perhaps due to the pressures of monogamy?

Most divorces and break-ups are initiated by the woman. They are now saying that women cheat as much as men if not more, it is just that they are better in hiding it. Women's sexual fantasies are much wilder than ours. Multiple orgasms... sperm wars. Women are more inclined to orgasm with their lover than they do with their long term partner.

I have a feeling that women are even less monogamous than men. We are much more loyal, we have a much stronger separation anxiety. Or perhaps we are stronger in controlling (repressing?) our emotions / needs?

Anyway, I don't think you are monogamous bro, I think you're just a romantic guy. If you are monogamous why are you a PUA? Do you ever bang girls you are not "in love" with, girls you are not planning on staying with on a long term basis? Why? How does that match your "monogamous orientation"?

And I really must add this - who the fuck said that our non monogamous nature is solely the result of our SEXUAL needs?

What about our need for a general state of FREEDOM?

What about our need for a variety of EMOTIONAL connections?

What about our general need for novelty and excitement?

Stop making this about SEX and me or any other poly____ guy only wanting to FUCK all the time, psychologically and maybe physically sex is probably only a small part of it!

How many guys in a LTR can really have many female friends and spend a lot of time with them? Or meet up with new female friends and be involved with them NON sexually before it starts to be a problem? Or even with their guy friends, how many hours a week can they spend with them before it starts to be a problem?

hahaha...

And how many people in a LTR can really do what they want? Like go on vacation alone for a month? Or two? Or decide that they want to leave everything and become... actors, or painters or whatever. "But HONEY, how will we pay the bills???" LTR = a form of imprisonment in so many fucking ways that it's not even funny.

I own nobody.
Nobody owns me.

After 9 years of a LTR that's a fucking wonderful feeling. It feels so right to me, you have no idea. I'm in a constant state of bliss.

.....

_________________
what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

Question about enlightenment, is everyone aware of enlightenment? will smoking marijuana help to put you in that state of enlightenment?

_________________
Three Types of Players:
1) Those who doesn't know whats happening
2) Those who watch what happens
3) Those who make it happen

+ 1

_________________
AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526

LMAO LODE...

i wrote a really long response, but it sounded like total self-indulgent bullshit, so i deleted it. haha.

if anybody is interested in hearing my theory of why i am monogamous, i could post it. i think it's actually quite interesting. but i don't want to further hijack this thread.

_________________
what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

....

Interested ...

....

lol i know .. sometimes i write a huge response and im like '' why the f*ck am i writing this shit.. who do i need to impress ?... ''
you seem the first one in this thread that keeps his self indulgent shit for himself only lol...

+1

_________________
AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526

ok, but keep in mind, what i am going to write is coming from the point-of-view of trying to understand my own tendencies and not from trying to sound cool or hardcore. i'm also gonna try to keep it short.

i grew up tough. daddy kicked the shit out of me regularly. so did my brother. mommy was emotionally abusive and abandoned me. i raised myself. alone running around the streets as young as seven years old all day unsupervised, coming and going as i pleased. i had no supervision, no protection. i was drinking and smoking at age 13, smoking pot and tripping on acid by age 14, doing crimes and taking pills by age 15, snorting coke and heavily dealing by age 16. by age 19, i was a hardcore drug addict who had died once as a result of an overdose, but was revived. that still didn't stop me from using. i also have a tendency toward extreme violence (defensive violence, and protective violence) from my upbringing of abuse. i have ptsd from it. for instance, i don't like people standing behind me or too close to me. i don't like people raising their voices. i especially don't like it when people intimidate women or children. i've basically got a history of violence. it took me six highschools to graduate. i was kicked out of each for violence and drug use. i grew up dirt poor, was homeless a few times, lived in my car, and struggled to survive and have food.

that's a little bit about my backghround. you may be wondering what in the fuck that has to do with being monogamous... well, i'll tie it in, because as much as it sounds like self-indulgent bullshit (or bragging, which it's not), it actually ties into something i've considered extensively about myself and my tendencies to be the way i am. besides, anybody who grew up the way i did, doesn't brag about it.

in addition to what i said above, i was a sort of higher-up drug dealer in my area for a brief while. i carried a gun. i've taken a baseball bat to people. and usually carried a machete next to, or under, my seat in the car when i was out cruising town. i've done breaking and entering, gang fights, shootouts, and have ran *successfully* from the police on several occasions. so my history is a little bit crazy and fucked up.

in addition to that stuff, i also used to be a cheater. i wasn't trustworthy. when i was with a girl, i attempted to fuck her, her friends, and her sisters, maybe even her mom if possible. i was only out for myself. and i was a lot of trouble.

so i met a girl and got her pregnant. i was 20 years old. still using coke, although not at the time of conception, fortunately. and we had a kid. i knew i had to change or i would be no father to my kid at all. so, i stopped. i just stopped everything. i went on the straight and narrow. i quit using cold turkey (been clean for 13 years now, btw) and stopped hanging with all my badboy friends, stopped dealing, stopped fighting, started dressing like a yuppie instead of a metalhead. i basically conformed. but at heart, i am and always will be one thing...a violent criminal.

again, how does this all tie in? lol. this is why i deleted my first post because it sounds self-indulgent.

it all ties in like this:

my "bad" is really "bad".

most people's "bad" is not really a big deal. it's kind of like a joke. but i have an ability to be a very "bad" person. and i decided 13 years ago, that in order to survive and be there for my kid, that i could no longer be "bad". i had to now be "good".

this is where it starts to get philosophical.

so, i see things in black and white. and i know that's not necessarily correct. but i tend to categorize rigidly.

good = nonviolent, law-abiding, calm, control, man of my word, etc

bad = violent, law-breaker, crazy, out of control, liar, deceiver, etc

i've wondered before if i'm like hyper-monogamous because i'm actually repressed and am so afraid of my "bad" side that i try to live a delusion and be super-human. and i'm fully aware that it may not be the norm at all.

the way this all ties in philosphically is the categorizing of "bad".

which is why i went into my past and my personality.

because i see not committing your heart to one person as bad. and i've ruled bad out of my options. because i feel like once i do "bad", i'll become a monster. and i see the monster i fear in other people too.

i have no idea if any of what i typed will make any sense to any other person who reads it.

i'm also an intensely proud person. for my own survival. i'm not opposed to fucking women. hell, let's line them all up right now and bang them all, orgy style, fuck it. lol. but my pride will not let me love a woman who touches, kisses, fucks another man. even if it means dying alone rotting in my own feces with cats eating my face. i'm not so scared to be alone that i will compromise my value. i know my value and if some woman thinks that i am not "enough" for her, then the bitch can get to steppin'. know what i mean?

i'll fuck her. but i sure as HELL won't love her. nope.

_________________
what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

nice post mack. Higher vs Base instincts ftw.

Yes Mack thanks, very interesting. What you are saying is that you made a conscious decision to be "good" and part of being good in your view is to lead a monogamous lifestyle. That's a culturally based value judgment but I respect that and wish you luck with it!


I think it's obvious to all of us that having multiple sexual partners and a variety of emotional connections greatly reduces violent tendencies or any other negative emotions / tension. Being involved with a few girls while not having any of them "own" me has made me a much more balanced and happier person.


As for any form of polygamous lifestyle being viewed as bad and being frowned upon by society, what I don't understand is this - from what I understand in the US while you guys are in High School and college it is 100% legitimate to be "going out" with a few different partners in the same time (and I assume this includes sex) until the partners decide to go "exclusive" and then only see each other.

So sleeping around with multiple partners is OK in college but from some reason as soon as you go out to "real life" or you cross some age barrier (25?) all of a sudden it becomes unacceptable.... what's the story with that exactly?