Hey Everyone!

In here I'll be writing a small journal of my progress so far!! I will make entries every time I have an interesting day!
I'm already part of the Toronto community, but I like this forum a lot too!
So I'll just be keeping the exact same journal on both forums, I hope it's ok with everyone!


Day 1:

So, University had some events for first year students today. I thought it would be a good way to practice my Day Game.
I talked to several sets, but I somehow can't go from a casual short talk to an actual conversation. I'm having trouble at transitioning!!

Highlight:
8 Set, 2 girls.
Me: "Hey, do you guys know who won the event today?"
Them: "I think we lost, but I'm not sure, blah blah blah blah"
*This is the point I always get to, and I don't know what to do, so I end up leaving, I'm such a newbie... =(
*However, something interesting happened... as I was walking away, the 2 girls yelled something, so I turned around and talked to them again
Them: "WE SHOULD'VE WON THOUGH" (almost yelling)
Me: "Yeah, I know!! We should be better than that! Hahaha. By the way, what's your name?"
Them: *They both introduced themselves*
Me: "Haha, are you guys first year!?"
Them: "Yeah!!"
*Blacked out again... Didn't know what to say... Gosh... I felt scared and ran away... WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN TO ME?
Me: "I'm in X year, anyway, I'm in a rush, nice meeting you guys! Haha"
*END*

Things I could've said: "So, are you enjoying your school so far?"; "How was your first day of class?"; "What do you guys think of Uni?"
I hate blanking out like this...

Any advice!? Any recommendations?

Thanks!!
-Emotions

I have the exact same issue!

Interested to see what people have to say.

Hello!!

So I've been reading a bit (as always), and I realized that my problem is pretty much that I try to "leave while on the High Note". As if, leave while everything's going good. I'm avoiding to vibe, and I'm getting stuck on functional or purpose-driven conversations.

However, maybe there are times when you are better off leaving the set, or else you lose social value.

When should I leave a set?
Today I was talking to a girl, and this other guy came in and started talking.
Mistake: I didn't bring him into the conversation I was having with the girl, and since we didn't know each other, they started having their own conversation that I wasn't able to join. Her body language was excluding me totally, and I was not part of the conversation anymore.
I excused myself politely and approached another set.


Things I have to improve:

- Social Vibing, you don't have to be talking all the time. Be a little more calmed, listen more to what they say, and joke around. LISTEN TO WHAT THEY ARE SAYING, and use the topics they are talking about to move to new topics. YOU HAVE TO LISTEN.

- Don't leave on a "High Note". Listen to what they just said, make new topics from that (preferably statements), and stop needing a reason or purpose to chat with them. My new purpose is "Now that I am talking to them, I want to get to know them better".

- Don't be afraid to give another one a chance to hold court. Everyone deserves a chance to talk and prove their point, and if you feel they are not paying attention (they are not looking at you at all when talking, or bad body language), say "wow, I can't believe that could happen, tell me more" or "I didn't know it worked like that". Be careful not to be excluded from the conversation, if you are, a "wow, I totally phased out for a second, so what are you guys talking about?", or say something that includes you. Be active.

Day 3:

Wow... Today was all wrong.
I was into 1 girl, but she had a boyfriend, and this girl's friend was into me, but I wasn't into her. Apparently, girls also have the "sistas over man-hoes rule". I guess it wasn't that hard, since all my friends new each other, so there was already social proof.
I NEED TO PRACTICE ON STRANGERS.

Strangers:
1. Anyway, as I went into the club, I talked to 1 stranger-girl.
"Hey, I could swear I've seen you before, where do you study?"
As she was answering, this male friend of hers joins (I approach him before he gets the chance to say anything).
However... What am I supposed to do now? I have a mixed 2 set, and I can't isolate at all. I can't ask THEM to dance with me, that's just WEIRD. I ejected... (I also ran out of things to say...) =(...

2. I went to the bar with my friend, and we saw this girl that I had seen before in residence, sitting with a bunch of guys.
I approached the set, so did my friend, and we started talking. Guys opened VERY QUICKLY. The girl just wouldn't open.
WE TRIED ALMOST EVERYTHING... Conversational mapping, making her take a picture of us, plowing, NOTHING...
THIS GIRL JUST DIDN'T OPEN... After 5 minutes of trying, and meeting 2 guys each, no girls opened, we just ejected.
Sad... Sad...

3. I saw this girl look at me, I sad "hey, how's it going?" - "What's your name?", Following this, a boyfriend came and hugged her. I just walked away...

4. Vibed with some random dude at the bar, and some random dude outside, talked about life philosophy. Talking never hurts, I guess...

**I need to get some practice in environments that are not that loud. Do you think Maddi/Brunswick would do?
**I need to learn how to open girls like #2. I guess she just wasn't into me? =S

Sad night, but still learning.

-Emotions

Hey Guys!!

So, school is killing me, but I still find some chances to chill and go out!!

Social vibing has helped me a lot, just being able to chill with people without needing to hold the court, its the BEST THING EVER. I just couldn't do this before, its something that is supposed to be "normal" for most people. Well, guess what, I LEARNT IT. I used to eject when I ran out of things to say, now I wait for them to say something, I've been entertaining for long enough!!
Girls usually go with "So... You told me before that you liked x".

I feel that I haven't been talking to enough strangers... I can open social circle friends and hired guns so easily, but I have serious problems with strangers.
Day game needs improvement... Since I have to do day game 5 days a week anyway.

Latest approaches (and failures):

I went to a bar for a friend's birthday. I was pretty much chatting with everyone from the party (its easier because we all came for the bday), there was 1 hot girl, and 1 girl I wasn't that into.

Approach 1: I started chatting with the girl I wasn't too into, I was vibing and having a nice conversation. For a moment, I stopped talking but I still kept my body language completely calmed, as if "I am having a good time, and I don't need to talk". After 5 seconds, she said "So, you told me you like x, I really like that too!". I rewarded her by giving her a small compliment on something, and kept talking.
I think she was into me. Her body language was pretty good, however, I didn't like her at all.
*Note: I should've gone for her number anyway, practice makes perfect.


Approach 2: I had some preselection going for myself, and this girl would just keep busting my balls. I immediately used this to disqualify myself. "You and I are not going to get along, I don't like you! ". It was very good stuff going on, but she was obviously into some other guy. We would have some private conversations once in a while, good kino, still, I didn't go for the number. After some time, I gave her a compliment that everyone heard, and I continued with a... "You know, a man has to accept the fact that he has to give real compliments once in a while "
*Note: The AFC inside me kept saying "You'll see her again, so don't ask for her number, ask her next time". AFC THINKING, CHANGE THIS.

Approach 3: I went to a mall to buy some stuff, and I just kept looking everywhere without being able to make a single good conversation. Like, really, I NEED MORE PRACTICE ON DAY GAME ON STRANGERS. I can open hired guns, because they are already predisposed to be nice to you, but to strangers, I can't even open correctly!
Me: "Hey, do you know where's X store?"
Girl: "Right there!"
Me: "Haha... thanks..."...
*Notes: Really?... Does this even count? Cmon... How am I supposed to follow this through? Any better openers?....

Approach 4: I went to the a restaurant/bar today. This bartender was talking to me, and I just started having a nice conversation with her. Suddenly, she starts talking to my male friend, and I just start talking to my own friends. I come back, and ask her if she knows any good places to chill around here. I tell her we should chill sometimes, but I still didn't ask for her number. This is the first time I feel that the girl wanted me to take her number, but I didn't...
*Notes: Same AFC thinking "you'll see her again, ask her next time". BULLSHIT. ACT ASAP NEXT TIME.

Conclusions:
I can open hired guns and social circle people pretty good, but strangers are just... Unless I have a situational opener, I JUST DUNNO. I need more canned material, EVEN MORE FOR DAY GAME. Night game is ok.. i guess, I open more during night, but DAY, DAY IS SHIT, unless I know them from somewhere, or we share common friends.

Any day game mall/street opener recommendations?
With night I just ask simple "curiosity" questions about them.

Hey guys...

Today was an Ok night... I went to a house party (pre-approval already I guess, but still some strangers in the party).

Approach 1: Met with a group of friends + girl that I knew from before. Started talking, kino, negging, joking around with her.
I could see that she was into me, but she was getting pretty drunk. I then went to approach 2 (explained below), and she just kept following me to whoever I was hanging out with. I ended up kissing her, but then she got all awkward. I have to see her in school on monday. I'll just try chilling and being normal.

Approach 2: I saw a *stranger* 2 set chilling from far.
Me: "hey, I just had to come here and ask, what's your background?"
Them: "Haha, guess".
bla bla bla bla bla...
me: "what are you studying?"
her: "arts"
me: "we're definitely not going to get along! haha"
her: haha, bla bla bla
Then I guess I fucked up here... cuz she told me where she was studying, and it was a different school.
me: "you know why we wouldn't get along? cuz im an engineer and you're from arts".
BAD... bad bad... i had already said that, and just re-emphasizing was bad.
relationship went sore. she started looking away... i just walked out.
*Notes:
1. I shouldn't have emphasized that same disqualifier.
2. I should've ejected politely, "anyway, it was a pleasure meeting you, I'll talk to you later".
3. I got lucky she was the alpha or whatever in that set, so I was lucky, but next time talk a little more to the friend.

I only approached 2 sets, then I met this guy that is also pursuing PUA. He helped me a lot on approaching strangers.
*NEW GOAL*: EVERY GIRL I SEE, I WILL COMMENT SOMETHING, SAY SOMETHING.

He approached 19 that night! and he was doing pretty well! I need some more practice, GET OUT OF MY BOX. APPROACH STRANGERS!
GET USED!!!

Hey Everyone!!

So this past week I have met with 3 other guys that are on the same path as me. This gives you so much confidence, and makes you want to get better!!! Now it's 4 of us, and we are committed to go out at least twice a week! Finally someone to push myself.

I've had 2 approaches that I'd really like to talk about:

1. Street night game:
I go in and ask for the time to a 2 set, and compliment one of them on her umbrella.
I immediately blank out. Like, seriously. There's nothing to talk about. Nothing...
NOTHING... My 2 friends immediately come in and plow through. I don't even know how they did it.
I just remember having nothing to say to what they were saying. I tried going in the conversations several times but it sounded pretty awkward.
After some time, I am just out of the set, completely. They bring me back with "Hey, are you ok bro?".
**Instead of asking for a compliment, go for an opinion on something. Gives you more information to work on.

2. Bar Night Game:
I ask a 2 set for directions to the bar. They help me and I start saying some statements. They don't say much back.
Again, nothing. Nothing to work on. NOTHING. Blanked out, friend plowed through, and same situation.
I tried getting back in by asking questions, sounded awkward. OMG, its been twice now!
**Try to control the set more. Move the conversation towards something you can really talk about.
**SAY SOMETHING. The longer you are out, the harder it is to get back in.
**If you blankout, stop thinking "fuck, i blanked out, awkward", instead listen to their conversation, and try ANYTHING to go in. At any chance you have.

Blankouts when you are alone are easy to handle: Omg, this is so weird, I just blanked out. This happens to me bla bla bla bla...
You can say that because no one is talking, and you are the center of attention.

But when you have a wingman controlling the 2 set, how do you get out of the blankout? You are not the center of attention, and you can't say anything.
Maybe just divide the conversation into 2, and talk to only 1 girl? Or maybe get back in by talking to your wingman? But he's busy talking to the set!

I was walking south on Yonge street, and I see a familiar face... It was Mystery.

I immediately stop, and ask:
Me: Are you Mystery?
Mystery: Yes I am.
Me: Wow, a pleasure to meet you.

I had no doubt he is one of the best. There is just something about the way he talks, that he is always comfortable. He knows the do's and don'ts of a social situation. He makes you feel as if you have known him forever.
Mystery is not just an alpha, he's a leader, he makes everyone else feel comfortable around him, while standing out with his presence.

He asked for my name, and introduced himself as "Eric", I didn't have to ask for his name, he then immediately introduced me to his brother. This social situation was handled perfectly.

Me: What are you doing in Toronto?
Mystery: Just enjoying sushi with some friends.

He immediately started telling me a story about his wisdom teeth. The way he talked and acted was so natural that I didn't find that the conversation was out of place or unnatural at all. Eye contact, hand gestures, body language. He was so calmed, his presence just made me comfortable.

Mystery: What are you doing tonight?
Me: Just watching UFC with some friends.
Mystery: A social environment!
Me: You are an inspiration! Haha
Mystery: Thank you

Social intelligence is acquired by years of practice, by those who strive for it. I will practice until I can make people as comfortable as possible.

Hello!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tonight was amazing!! Me and some friends went to the maddi, and we just had a SICK time!!

I approached around 5-6 sets, but there's only 3 that I'd like to talk about!

1. As we were getting inside maddi, we just started a conversation with one of the guys in line. After 4-5 minutes, he introduced us to his group. "Haha, I just wanted to introduce you guys to these strangers I just met".
1 very cute girl. We start talking, I try to always have the conversation flowing + Kino.
However, I do feel that I eject too quickly. I ejected around 3-4 times from her set, and came back later on at night.
I would like to be able to keep a set entertained for 20 minutes straight, and close. But I still have a lot to learn.
Near the end of the night, after several approaches, I see her again and say:
"We should hangout some time, give me your number".
# close.

2. There was a 2 set that opened very quickly, probably because of the pre-selection DHV.
I ran out of things to say very quickly, BUT, I did make a very silly mistake.
We were talking, and just when she was about to say something, I said something else, to which she replied with a simple yeah, that's totally true. I didn't listen to what she had to say, so I couldn't go anywhere from there. Blankout.
Things I could've done different:
*Pause more while talking, if you see that she is not continuing, then say something. Try to make her talk more to make conversation flowing.
*Asked them to go sit, or to move somewhere more quiet. I had to keep asking "What, What!?!?".

3. This is not an approach, but something I've learned from functional openers.
When you approach with functional openers, it works better if you cut it in the middle and make a conversation. That way there is no weird transition after they answer, you just "happened to have something to say".
When do you know that they want to leave?
They repeat the answer to your functional opener, as if they were saying "Fine, I finished answering, time to go".
If you keep them entertained, they don't go back to the functional opener answer.

WOHO, good night overall. Loved it.
-Emotions

Hello!!!!!

Today was Brunny's night. First time ever. Liked it quite a bit.

Me and my wing started our night on our way to the bar, and opening on street night game.
We opened some sets, but didn't get much out of it, and then...
Very close to the bar, we met this one girl on the phone.
My wing opened and played it PERFECTLY. He even said "hi" to the other person on the phone!
Started having conversations, negging, I think he's really good for casual stranger conversations.
He # closed to easily! Gosh... I need to practice more.
He told me he has approached 22 sets since last time we went out. Me? like 9 max. FUCK, IM APPROACHING MORE, 20 before next week.

I've seen that my wing tries to make conversations, NO MATTER WHAT. You won't see them again anyway, you might as well try and get better.

We got to the bar, opened quite a bit of sets, but nothing actually good. My wing's friends came by, and he introduced me. They were all in the dance floor and just chilling. I was enjoying my time and dancing with everyone.

Highlight:
After establishing some comfort with everyone, I take a girl from the group by the hand and start dancing. LOUD MUSIC, SO NO TALKING. It was all fun kino, dancing, and laughing! The inner AFC wanted to talk, but I STOPPED HIM, and told him to FUCK OFF.
We were just kinoing, enjoying, chilling, and laughing. After enough time, K-CLOSE.
Everything went smooth from there, I had to leave then (since I have class tomorrow), and # closed her. Hopefully not a flake.
**YEP YEP, IN CLUBS, NO TALKING, FUCKING DANCE. ITS TOO LOUD AND YOU LOSE VALUE/LOOK UNCOMFORTABLE.
**Make sure the set/girl is comfortable with you first, don't start kinoing and dancing right away as soon as you meet her, its gonna creep her out (happened to my wing, lol).

Still, I had pre-approval. I NEED TO START PRACTICING WITH STRANGERS. Most (if not all) of my successes come from some sort of pre-approval/social circle environment.
I feel good, yeah, because I K-closed and # closed this girl, but even though my wing got a # close only, IT WAS A STRANGER, no pre-approval.

Steve jobs died 2 days ago. This just shows how fragile life is.
I HAVE TO GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY COMFORT ZONE AND START IMPROVING MY LIFE. FUCK IT IF PEOPLE THINK I'M AWKWARD/WEIRD. You don't know how long you're going to live, so, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?
I get SOOO pissed at myself sometimes... WAKE UP!

R.I.P. Steve Jobs... Inspiration.

Final notes for myself:
1. Don't stutter. Finish your sentences, no matter if people are not listening/talking. Once you start a sentence, you finish it, or else you lose value.
2. Approach 20 before sarging next week. I've been too lazy, and I see how much my wing has improved by doing this. DO IT.
3. I've tried observing people better than me and see how the keep the conversations flowing. I stay quiet trying to find that "special and unique" thing they do to keep it going. I've realized one thing: OBSERVING DOESN'T HELP. I don't remember SHIT on how to keep it up, and I've been observing my wing/a natural friend for over a month.
WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?: IT REQUIRES PRACTICE. So STOP observing AND TALK/PRACTICE. This skill its not about observing, its something you get by practicing a thousand times. TALK.

-Emotions

Hello!!

So on Friday I went to a house party and yesterday I went to Embassy with a group of friends (guys+girls).

Friday:

I was chilling, having a good time with friends, and then my wings come in.
I FELT A RUSH, I felt I had to approach, I felt I had to start talking!

Approach 1:
I started gaming this girl, playing games with her, but everytime I was alone with her, a blonde friend of hers would come and cockblock.
Me: "Let's play a drinking game!"
Target: "Sure!!!"
*blonde randomly comes in*
Blonde: "Hey, lets play a drinking game!"
Me: "Sure..."
And then somehow it went from drinking game to...
Blonde: "OMG, YOU'VE NEVER HAD A KEG STAND?"
Target: "Nooo"
Blonde: "LET'S GO"

Whatever, that's just one example. It happened around 3-4 times.
At one point I called her out on it

Me: "Wow, fuck you, haha, you always disappear"
Target: "You disappear too, and start talking to other girls!!!"
Me: "Well, I'm not going to chase you around! I have a life too you know "

After that, I was talking to her, and I tried moving her around to avoid any interruptions, but not before failing a shit test...

Target: "Omg, your standards are too high for me!!"
Me: "Hahaha, at least I have standards!"
Target: "Yeah, but they are too high"
*wow, really... I just blanked out, I tried answering the shit test, but then she repeated it again... I tried repeating same thing, changing subjects, but it definitely came out wrong, I felt like I was bleeding social value.
*Should've said something like: "So you don't like challenges? =P" or maybe just *ignore*.

Me: "Hey! Let's go outside, its so loud in here"
Target: "Sure!!!"
*We go outside*
Target: "OMG, BLONDE, HIII"
*She starts talking to blonde and joins blonde's four-set, I was definitely out of the set completely, the circle had closed up*
*Maybe I should've joined the set, but say what?*
*Again, lost...*
*I approach another girl and start talking to her*
*After 10 mins, I get pissed of chasing her around, I get back inside the house.*


Saturday: So I get into Embassy, Club game. MASSIVE AA at the beginning, MASSIVE.
After some warm up (it always gets better after 3 approaches), everything feels more natural.
I was trying some calibration from past club experiences.
I tried talking maybe 1 minute, and then telling them "Let's go dance", since clubs are too loud to have a conversation anyway.
I totally forgot to tap their shoulders before talking to them. Sometimes they got scared when I talked to them, lol.
DON'T FORGET TO TAP-TAP.
I had several approaches, but this ones are the most interesting ones.
I got 2 approaches where the girl just "casually" said she had a boyfriend. I don't even think it was true.
One my answers was: "Hahaha, great, when I see you guys around we'll all dance =D".

Approach 2:
I'm with my wing, and this 2 set is walking our way.
He approaches, I approach. Kinda wrong, since we both approached at the same time, but it was kind of too loud for one of us to make a conversation and accomplish intro the other.

Me: "Hey, what's up, what's your name?"
Her: Answers with her name.
*I pecked*
*Gives me a "I'm going to act like a bitch" face*
*Game over*. LOL... *I leave, set goes to hell*.
*Should've negged her. A sniper neg perhaps?...*

Approach 3: 2 girls at the bar.
Me: "Hey! what's up! how's it going?" [this no-opener somehow works pretty well in clubs]
Her: "Pretty good!, haha, and you?"
Me: "I'm good, haha, how come you're not dancing?"
Her: "I'm having a drinkk!!" and makes an observation of a peacock
Me: Peacock story, conversation flowing. "Let's go dance!!"
Her: "Haha, let me finish my drink first!" *starts drinking faster* IOI IOI IOI
Friend of target: "Buy us a drink first and we'll see!" *cockblock*
Me: "Hahaha, I'm sorry, but I don't buy drinks to people I don't know!" **Maybe I shouldn't have said this one line.
*a little bit too rough...* maybe: *Buy me a drink first and we'll see! =P*
Me: "Wow, I don't even know your name and you're asking me for a drink!!, what's your name?"
Them: Answer.
Me: "Let's go dance!" **error error error, too pushy to dance**
*Lost set. They lost interest. I told them I'd go around the club and meet them later*.

Approach 4: Girl in her cellphone.
*I tap shoulder*
Me: "You know, you shouldn't be on your cellphone on a club "
Her: *Gives me a fuck off face*.
=(
*Change that opener*


Approach 5: Two set, one with a cute tattoo.
*Forgot to tap tap, lol, she got a bit scared*
Me: "I just have to say, I love your tattoo!!!"
Her: "Which oneee!?!?!?"
Me: "This onee!! what is it!?"
Her: "It's egyptian!"
Me: "Hahaha, let's dancee"
Her: "No."
**Okkkk, next time, don't ask. Just start slowly kino-ing while you talk to her.

Geez, fucking club game.

Approach 6: Near coat checks
2 set. I open, wing comes in and helps.
Me: "Wow, why do you have a camera here? Are you with a magazine or something?"
Her: *Conversation starts flowing, pretty good*.
Me: "Haha, teach me how to take a picture with that camera"
*I take a picture of her*
After 3-5 minutes.
Me: "We should hangout sometime! Give me your number!"
Her: "Sorryy, you're cute, but I don't give my number in clubss"
*Blankout, how do I answer to that?...*
*Maybe: "So how can we keep in touch!?!?" * But I don't want no facebook, fuck that.
Me: "Haha, its Ok, I understand.!!" *we talk a bit longer*
Her: "Okkk, I have to go!"
Me: "A pleasure meeting you!!".

Conclusions:
*Open with a "Hey! how's it going?" to sets standing on bars. Works very well*
*Neg when they get bitchy. I totally forgot about negs*
*If you open with a neg, you might get a mean response. Refer to Cellphone girl*
*Don't ask to dance. While you talk, slowly make kino and spin them around. That calls for dancing.*
*Don't forget to tap tap. It's fucking creepy when you approach directly to her ear*.
*Don't peck. If you can't hear what she said, you suck.*
*Don't repeat things more than twice (twice is pushing it).*
*Don't chase.*
*Make observations and comment on that, near dancefloors they are more prompt to open w compliments (does it work tho?)*