Am I boring and unmemorable?



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PostPosted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 6:12 pm 
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So, I've been trying to get into the game but it seems I'm still a pretty huge AFC. I can gain the confidence, walk up and talk to people ect. Thing is, if I get a girls number.. Or add on facebook or whatever, they don't really seem to remember me, or even make an effort to talk back. Even if I use so e opinion openers and things like that. I feel like maybe something I have said or done really makes people want to just inch away slowly. What could this be?


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 8:00 pm 
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When you approach how do you talk to her after opener?

If its daygame do you make witty comments about her responses, smile, laugh, and make statements, or do you just ask boring questions like "where you from?" "what are you doing?" etc? With daygame I learned its better to say things like, "you look like you're spanish" rather than "where are you from". She'll say things like "yeah i am, how did you know" or she'll correct you. Try to make some funny comments, dont try hard though, if somethings funny point it out but dont go out of your way to make her laugh


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 8:07 pm 
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do you neg enough? :)


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 8:18 pm 
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Some girls pretend not to remember you to screw with you.
Anyways usually if your getting this you want to get their number, call them and put in your name in their phone like "Zild super sexy guy you met at the mall" or something funny, I guarantee they'll remember you if you put that it. (and neg-ing is only once or twice max. theres not really a enough part, theres just to much)


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 8:26 pm 
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Quote:
So, I've been trying to get into the game but it seems I'm still a pretty huge AFC. I can gain the confidence, walk up and talk to people ect. Thing is, if I get a girls number.. Or add on facebook or whatever, they don't really seem to remember me, or even make an effort to talk back. Even if I use so e opinion openers and things like that. I feel like maybe something I have said or done really makes people want to just inch away slowly. What could this be?
When you are interacting with them initially are you interested in THEM, or just in yourself? Are you expressing yourself and the things that make you interesting, or merely talking on a surface level? Are you opening up and showing them the things that make you a unique and memorable person, or hoping that they'll remember you just because you've gotten their number? Do you impact people and their lives by interacting with them, or do you just interact with people as a means of getting what you want out of life?

Don't answer these questions quickly. Take the time to reflect and appreciate your interactions recently and as far back in time as you can remember. I think that if you do this honestly and you consider these questions you will find some reasons why you aren't as memorable as you'd like. I know that whenever I wanted something from someone in order to get it for myself, instead of showing true care and appreciation, as well as expressing my true inner self and intents that I was hardly memorable and I'm pretty hard to forget when I express who I truly am if even in a 2 minute conversation in passing.

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PostPosted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 8:28 pm 
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Get out of your head. Get out of your head, get out of your head. You ARE boring if you're thinking in your head (well maybe not, but it doesn't help either). I agree with smithersonb11. especialy about the witty statements. I love them..

What you need to work on is selfconfidence. Start with walking to the mirror every day and say: "hey, look at you, looking great, lets have some fun today. Let's talk to a lot of people and enjoy life". Ok maybe not really, but you probably get what i'm trying to say. Change your frame of mind into a more positive one. Someone posted "realization" today or yesterday. It was a simple post, but a good one none the less. Read it, it also might help.

Don't worry so much about yourself, and be confident. There are probably a 1000 reasons to be confident anyway, you just have to see them.


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 8:36 pm 
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Get out of your head. Get out of your head, get out of your head. You ARE boring if you're thinking in your head (well maybe not, but it doesn't help either). I agree with smithersonb11. especialy about the witty statements. I love them..

What you need to work on is selfconfidence. Start with walking to the mirror every day and say: "hey, look at you, looking great, lets have some fun today. Let's talk to a lot of people and enjoy life". Ok maybe not really, but you probably get what i'm trying to say. Change your frame of mind into a more positive one. Someone posted "realization" today or yesterday. It was a simple post, but a good one none the less. Read it, it also might help.

Don't worry so much about yourself, and be confident. There are probably a 1000 reasons to be confident anyway, you just have to see them.
COMPLETELY. Just take out that part where you second guessed what you said and you've got some winning stuff there! There is no reason to hold back from engaging in saying, "I'm just gonna go out and have a wicked time today with no expectations! I'm just gonna meet some awesome people, be myself and have a great time doing it even if they don't react the way I hope, cause I'm having fun doing what I'm doing and being ME!"

_________________
"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 10:12 pm 
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Location: Chatham, ON
Quote:
When you approach how do you talk to her after opener?

If its daygame do you make witty comments about her responses, smile, laugh, and make statements, or do you just ask boring questions like "where you from?" "what are you doing?" etc? With daygame I learned its better to say things like, "you look like you're spanish" rather than "where are you from". She'll say things like "yeah i am, how did you know" or she'll correct you. Try to make some funny comments, dont try hard though, if somethings funny point it out but dont go out of your way to make her laugh
So i guess to be honest, when i do talk to people, not just women. I do use those types of lines, because i'm not sure exactly what to say most of the time. I try to be social and smile a lot and just give out a vibe that i have a good attitude and from what people will tell me later on, that's exactly what they pick up. I guess maybe i'm just not saying things that really trigger for them, or something they can't really answer.
Quote:
do you neg enough?
Not really. I know negging is important, i just really haven't learned how to use it properly. I have tried it once or twice and just said the wrong thing at the wrong time.
Quote:
When you are interacting with them initially are you interested in THEM, or just in yourself? Are you expressing yourself and the things that make you interesting, or merely talking on a surface level? Are you opening up and showing them the things that make you a unique and memorable person, or hoping that they'll remember you just because you've gotten their number? Do you impact people and their lives by interacting with them, or do you just interact with people as a means of getting what you want out of life?
This is perfect, as i was reading this things started to go off in my brain. Even as i'm sitting here writing this i'm still thinking about these answers fully and mostly what i can say right now, is yes i am talking on a surface level. I'm really only talking to them for the sake of talking, and just interacting with them to get something out of life. Half of this is just because recently there was a whole issue i had with a past girlfriend, and i lost a lot of things because of it. So i've been trying to just get out there and meet new people. It just always ends up that i am still very nervous, even if i don't show it.
Quote:
Some girls pretend not to remember you to screw with you.
See, that's what i thought at first, i played along with it as i was texting her, but it was only 1 or 2 texts after that, that she just stopped texting back completely. Has never said a word to me since, and i doubt she will. But, even if i messed up in some way theres really no problem, because rejection is apart of life and thats just the first of many.
Quote:
Get out of your head. Get out of your head, get out of your head. You ARE boring if you're thinking in your head (well maybe not, but it doesn't help either). I agree with smithersonb11. especialy about the witty statements. I love them..

What you need to work on is selfconfidence. Start with walking to the mirror every day and say: "hey, look at you, looking great, lets have some fun today. Let's talk to a lot of people and enjoy life". Ok maybe not really, but you probably get what i'm trying to say. Change your frame of mind into a more positive one. Someone posted "realization" today or yesterday. It was a simple post, but a good one none the less. Read it, it also might help.

Don't worry so much about yourself, and be confident. There are probably a 1000 reasons to be confident anyway, you just have to see them.
I'm glad you posted this, because sometimes i really need to just stop being negative sometimes. But, as strange as it is i'm not really sure if i do have many confidence problems sometimes. It comes and goes.


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 13, 2011 12:33 am 
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Focus on depth. Focus on portraying your inner self, even if that means displaying your sadness, as long as you are able to show that it hasn't crushed you and that you are happy with yourself, who you are and at peace with the state of your life because you are enjoying the experiences you encounter every day. If you can convey that then you will continue to be successful no matter what you do. :)

_________________
"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 13, 2011 1:56 am 
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be in the moment, dont analyze or think about what you're about to say, just say it. Do not be outcome dependent. Be yourself and be confident, you need to be having fun


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