Okay guys... I just read all your updates and I'm going to let you in on exactly what is happening.
First, yeah, I've had some weakness and anxiety. My throat swelled up the night before she was going off to work because I knew that what I was going to do was serious, and abrupt. We've broken up before a few times... early in the relationship she dumped me because I was immature... late in the relationship I have found myself dumping her because she is acting shady and promiscuous.
However, all of you who think she's probably CURRENTLY fucking other guys may or may not be right. I've been asking people that know her, are close to her, and hang with her and they say that she's never done anything major that they had seen. On the other hand, she's had instances where she's been at other guy's houses (not recently) and not come home yet sticks to her story of staying on the couch. IT'S BEEN 7 YEARS, fuck even I've done some shit I'm not proud of... but I never fucked a chick while it there was an agreement of monogamy. There were numerous nights when I didn't come home until very late in the AM too... and she DEFINITELY thought I was fucking other chicks when I was just stuck in a poker game or at my office grinding out emails.
Anyways, people that don't know her and see this all seem to agree... she's fucking around, she doesn't respect me, she's manipulative, etc. This is what I thought when I originally created this thread. I just didn't want to give my thoughts or the answer before I gave you guys a chance to give opinions.
One thing that I didn't touch on in my original post is this girl's crazy dedication to me. After I booted her out I grabbed her hard drive and scanned through about 15,000+ photos. I'll tell you what, photos that I know exist that were from past shady times were gone. She had erased them, and anything else that she did in the past that wasn't a positive memory of us. Rather, photos with her and another man included me, and maybe some celebrities. We both have huge smiles and I started tearing up and basically balling my eyes out seeing how happy we had been. Yet, between these good memories there has always been so much drama, and that's why I chose to just be done with it.
I can't handle drama like when I pulled the TV out of the bedroom because we weren't fucking enough and she posted a totally bias question on Facebook asking people if they should have a TV in the bedroom. She harnessed any positive responses and ignored any negative ones, a true signal of her manipulative personality. Other things I'm over is her flirting with other guys, sometimes right in front of me... then getting pissed off at me when I call her on her shit and tell her to knock it the fuck off.
Anyways, back to the update. So... I called the locksmith, had the locks changed, had her key FOBs deactivated, and packed about 30 bags of her clothes and they're sitting in my truck right now. There's WAY more than this left in the condo that I didn't touch yet. She came home at about 8:00pm as expected. First, the guard gate wouldn't open, but those idiots opened it for her when she waved as if it wasn't working. Second, the gate to the parking garage wouldn't work and the retard valet drivers lifted the gate for her. Third, she couldn't get in the door from the parking garage because her FOB didn't work. Fourth, she walked downstairs to the front desk and asked what was going on with her FOB, only to be told that she was removed. The front desk called me and I didn't answer. She tried calling me about 9 or 10 times, texting me as well. Surprisingly, her texts were nice and cordial.
Somehow, she was let upstairs and found that he key didn't work. My roommate was home, but I let him know that if he let's her in that he'll be just as homeless so he didn't dare. She started calling a bunch of people I know, including my roommate and a mutual friend of ours that used to work at the high-rise complex. I instructed nobody to answer, but I didn't inform the neighbors as part of my strategy to annoy them since they helped to cause this mess.
Anyways, the neighbor ends up texting me as follows:
Him: ?
Him: Can you deal with this, I'm in the middle of stuff
Me: It's been dealt with, that's what the locksmith was for
Him: I know but now she's over here, I don't want to be in the middle of this shit
(he tried calling twice)
Him: You not taking my calls?
Me: One thing you should know about me is I show no mercy to those who disrespect me.
Him: And you think I disrespected you?
Me: How does some Vegas Ho being at your place have anything to do with me?
Him: I'm lost. Whatever is going on between you guys is between you guys until it spills over into my life. If you had given me the heads up at least I wouldn't have let her in. I've been nothing but cool with both of you.
(I don't respond).
I ended up talking to my ex gf about 5 hours ago and she informed me that I scared the shit out of my neighbor with the way I was acting and talking, like I had it out for him. I guess he was franticly running around his condo and ended leaving alone for no real reason at all. LOL
Anyways, I didn't answer even one text message or call from her until late that night. The only thing I said was "if you want some things before you leave for work I can put them in the hall, lmk." she replied saying she was already at work and she wasn't sure when she'd be back this direction and some bs about how my mind gets angry but my heart still cares. I replied "suit yourself, my mind is protecting my heart."
I ended up running into her by chance just last night too. Her and her girlfriend (who was at that party) pulled into the parking spot right behind me, and they saw all her shit in my truck. I got out and shouted to her "do you want your stuff or what?" so she came and picked through the bags and took some clothes. She then wanted to grab a few things from the condo too so I told her "fine, but no more than ten minutes" (to which I mistakenly didn't enforce, fuck it anyways). She ended up grabbing some makeup, her computers, and some other shit. The whole time she kept trying to figure out why I flipped and said she couldn't figure it out. I kept my mouth shut and let her talk. In fact, I have another recording for you guys... but it's long and I get weak a time or two.
To sum up the content of the recording, she basically tried:
To figure out why I snapped
To "give me closure" and let me ask her any question I want (why, so she could lie to me some more? I didn't bother.)
To make herself come off as innocent as possible (i.e. "I had a bottle of goose in my hand but i was sitting on the couch... I took it easy!")
Not once did she mention dancing with this guy
She kept to her story that she was "with her girlfriend all night"
I broke down crying for a moment and told her to "just get the fuck out"
She stalled like crazy, didn't want to leave.
Now... I want to respond and ask questions to what you guys have wrote:
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i just heard the 9 minute tape, they do not even know how to talk to each other, if the girl did not love this guy she would not be crying...
What do you mean by us not knowing how to talk to each other? She's crying because she's losing more than just me. She's losing security, dependance, comfort, etc.
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he probably didn't make choices that benefit him for about seven years.
Sometimes it feels like that, but I have learned to force myself to make choices that benefit me over the years. If I want to go out of town to play poker or something, I do it. I don't ask permission, I tell it how it is. The problem in this relationship was that when I'd do independent things like this, she would do her independent things... but hers involved putting herself in bad situations like night clubs, and situations that she knew I wouldn't approve of so she's learned to be a good liar.
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7 year relationship ... you don't need closure from someone else .. if he will talk to her about breaking up she will probably fuck other dudes just to manipulate him... just listen to the tapes - she is insane as fuck. you can create closure for yourself .. maybe over 15 years she will get enlightened and she will realise she abused him and manipulated him.
I think I'll be fine as far as closure goes because, could I really believe anything she says anyways? If she's an emotionally manipulative woman, then she'll go to great lengths to keep me and get me back anyways. And that includes lying about closure and coming off as an innocent little angel. I know most of her tricks, because I've been through this once before. This time I need to be strong and just be fucking done with it, and it ain't easy!
As far as her getting closure? Fuck that, I'm leaving her hanging. She needled me the entire time she was here picking things up as to why I flipped, and I held out. Right before we walked to the elevators she asked me "would i ever have been good enough?" and I knew I had her right where I wanted her. I said "I can't answer that," and left it at that. Boo ya.
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Have you been in his shoes? NO I GOT GAME I DO NOT LET WOMEN CROSS BOUNDERIES, THIS DUDE FUCKED UP, ALL WOMEN WILL TRY TO PUSH BOUNDERIES IS YOUR JOB AS A PUA, TO MAKE SURE THEY DON'T
That woman manipulated, abused and tortured this guy emotionally for SEVEN years. And why can't he get back to her? Not always you should take the higher road. Just be glad that he's not going after her with a chainsaw. I can't rule that out for myself. 50/50 IS HIS FAULT TOO, HE NEEDED TO BE A MAN NOT A PUSSY
I started dating her when I was like 19 years old, and only had one relationship before that. Give me a break... I nabbed a 10 and kept her for 7 years with hardly any experience in dating. I didn't have money back then... I came into it about 2 years in or so.
On a side note, I feel it would be bad karma to "get back" at her. I made her suffer one night without a damn word or a thing from this condo. That alone was satisfying. If I pushed it even farther, the cops would get involved, her AMOG friends would get pissed, and it would burn other bridges. I changed the locks, freaked the neighbor the fuck out, and everybody respects me out of fear right now because I'm not showing any mercy.
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That woman needs to understand that all that time she was treating him like her personal doormat is over. Honestly, I cannot wait to see her shrieking and shouting at the closed door. Just the kinda retribution she deserves. DISAGREE WITH THE SHOUTING, JUST TALK BREAK UP AND HAVE CLOSURE...
Oh she was freaking out alright. My roommate told me that the doorbell kept ringing off the hook. I told him he can either let it ring for a half hour or he can let her in and let her ring his ears all night.
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4.- you do not want to do mean shit, because after a month or couple of weeks this dude will experience withdrawals, and stress and anxiety, and will miss this girl like crazy, he will feel a bit empty. the first week he will be happy he broke up and only will think about all the bad, after the withdrawals will kick in..
5.- he will start blaming himself, when he start missing her...
I've been through the withdrawals before last time I broke it off with her over a year ago. It sucked, but I was happy after awhile. As far as blaming myself, yeah I already do have things I'm blaming myself for. She suspected that I was seeing other women and messing around, which at times wasn't far from the truth... but I can at least justify it by saying I did it because she had already broke the trust and was being disrespectful. I could have been more dedicated and what not with her, but I tried that in the past... and after she showed me how immature she was, I never respected her or trusted her completely after that. I held onto my resentment permanently, and I'll never fully forgive her for what she did.
CHAT
