I have come to believe that when a girl calls you either of these things in everyday conversation it's not a good thing.

eg; Can I buy you a drink?
Yes, thanks love

Now let's assume this conversation is taking place between two people who are not in a relationship of any kind. The girl in this situation obviously doesn't mean it when she calls this guy love.

So why do women do this? If a girl tells you it's just part of her vocabulary, she's probably lying. I say this because these same girls would rarely, if ever, use such words with close friends.


eg; girl1: Hey I'll pick you up at 6
girl2: Sounds good honey/love/darl

When women use these words in such condescending ways they are attempting to exert a form of female dominance. When words are used in this fashion it can make a grown man feel like a small child, and when a woman can make you feel like that then she's gained some power over you. By making you feel small, she feels bigger. That's why girls who use these words are often insecure/ lacking self esteem themselves. Why does being called, 'love' or 'honey' make a man feel like a small child again? Because, it's what our mothers and grandmothers called us when we were three years old, and asking for another cookie.

Probably could go into more detail with this, but I'm typing on my phone and am catching arthritis .

Ever busted a girl on this? Is trying to remain unaffected the best we can do?

Skeezy (bloke)

You could frame it as flirting

Also if buying a drink is actually what was said, maybe she thinks your just another guy to get a drink off.

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"You don't want girls to think you suck dick at fucking pussy"
-Seth (Superbad)

Nah it was just an obvious example. Don't think you could frame it as flirting. Only because I'm referring to when a girl says it and obviously doesn't mean it. However, if you were in bed with your girlfriend for example and she says, 'oh honey it's so big!' that's different, because she is being genuine.

Let me give you a better example, the scenario that prompted this post.

Few weeks ago went to this club and met this HB10 who was working on the door.
Over the next 2 weeks we spoke on the phone, she was interested, but interstate, so we didn't catch up. Till I saw her on my way into the same club again. She said 'hey' hugged me etc. As soon as my friend and I entered the club he turns to me and says, ' I don't like your mate' (referring to the door girl). When I ask why he tells me, 'Because she called me love, like who does she think she is?'

On my way out the club I bumped into her again. I said bye jade I'm heading off she gives me a hug and says "take care honey". I then experienced the same ' who-does-she-think-she-is as my friend. Like I'm not your honey, don't call me that.

Again I stress if the girl is being genuine, if you are actually her honey or love then there is no problem.

If she's treating me like a small child, then I hope I get to breast feed and snack on her cookie...

It's a mark of affection, smile, claw her in and take her home. Your friend is hideously insecure to think his manhood is under threat because a girl called him "honey".

I agree with fin,

this whole thing is like the fear of wearing pink, if you do, you've lost your masculanity a long time ago.

if shes not using your name and replacing it wit hun just give her a nicname too

if theres one thing ive learned from pickup its that no one thing is ever certain. dont over analyze, her iois can be taken the wrong way then youll get upset because things arent going according to plan, or because "it worked last time"

the only way to tell whats going on is by the vibes your getting. your brain subconciously can tell whats up, just trust your instincts.

OMG she called me HONEY!!!

Just chill dude.

i have never really thought of being called love/darling/ect. or demeaning i have a total different prespective of it now

This reminds me of...

http://www.amazon.com/Stop-Calling-Hone ... 0757315313
Basically the author says words like "baby" and "honey" breed familiarity, and are too reminiscent of the pet names we were called in childhood by our parents and grandparents, so constant use of them could put a negative strain on a couple's sex life.

Lol, I actually had a conversation with one of my girlfriends a night or so ago that went something like this...

Me: I'll be at your place around 8ish
Her: Ok love

I kid you not... !!!!!!!!

Girls talk like this with eachother all the time. Some girls like to use these words of endearment; they're not trying to dominate you with them. "Busting her out" on it will only make you look like an idiot...


-Roz

This really just depends on context, age range, social-economic status, and area of the country where you're located. It can be condescending or simply part of her vernacular. Some areas of the country this is incredibly common, such as Baltimore.

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Hi, I'm A. Fahren and I'm an author. I love to travel, socialize, and am hopelessly addicted to movies. That's about it.