| One New Years a few years ago I had a party at my house. Over the night, I became interested in a friend of a friend of a friend who was at the party. She was sitting close, throwing a lot of IOIs, and complaining about her bf. I also secured her number before the end of the night.
A few days later, I called her up and I asked her out. She said she was uncomfortable with that because she had a bf. Five minutes later, she called me back and said that she'd go if her friend could go with her. I knew her friend, and I actually figured her friend kind of talked her into it in the first place. She knew I was a decent guy, and he bf was a piece of shit. My guess was she called her friend and her friend told her to do it. So I agreed. I brought along a friend of my own so that I didn't feel outnumbered.
I actually managed to pull off a decent date, against all odds, and was able to secure a second. But guess what? That was with her friend, too. Then, all the sudden we were double dating, or whatever, or any excuse whatsoever to not be alone with me. She said she didn't trust herself with me. With all the IOIs and everything, I bought that. Maybe it was true, maybe it wasn't. It didn't matter, because I wasn't getting a fair shake. Eventually, I put my foot down and refused to go out with her unless it was just us. When she was unwilling to do that, I ended it. She had already broken up with her boyfriend at this point. Months later, she called me up and wanted to go out. I told her I wasn't interested, because I really no longer was.
There's a lot that went wrong here. Primarily, I should have just gone for an f-close and been done with it. I was actually looking for a relationship, though, and that's prolly what put me in AFC zone in the first place. I wasn't quite in "friend"-zone, I was in the "you can give me all the stuff my bf doesn't, but he's still giving me the high-hard one on the regular"-zone, which I guess is really the friend zone. There was a lot of kino and what-not, so I was building some attraction, just not enough. I probably wasn't setting a sexual enough frame, so I wasn't giving her enough reason to forget about her bf. She did still have needs, afterall. And, because I was looking for a relationship, I wanted her to end her previous one before I was willing to make any moves. If we made out/fucked while she had a bf, I never would have trusted her in a relationship and I knew that. I was an AFC, simple as that. I wanted what was virtually impossible, and I went about it the same way. Think was, it took me a long time to realize it. When I was in the situation, I couldn't really see the forest for the trees.
Now, your situation may be different, but I doubt it's really all that different. There's a good chance that it's coming from the "not enough attraction"-zone, that caused her to do what she did. If you take what she gives you at face value, you will be put into the friend zone, almost immediately. You have to push back for your own rights, or she won't respect you. Tell her no, say yes and ditch her, bring a date, flirt with her friend... any of these things would "work". I say "work", because you have nothing to lose unless you go out with her and her friend like she asked. Then you have a lot to lose, including your time and dignity. Don't give them up so freely. Stand up for yourself and make sure that your intentions are crystal clear. She may not like it, but she will respect you. I repeat: you have nothing to lose.
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