Tonight I was supposed to go to a movie with my girl, it was her idea. She's been wanting to see this movie for months now, and last weekend she planned for us to see it on opening day.Afterwards we were going to go to the beach and just chill.

well, yesterday I overheard her friend telling her she didn't wanna go out on Thursday night, but she probably would Friday. I knew right away she was going to ditch our plans to go out.

Low and behold, today comes around and she calls me asking if were seeing the movie tonight. I knew immediately she was trying to back out like always, so I calmy said "you were the one who planned it, it's up to you."

She responded she doesn't know what she wants to do yet and will call me back. She wound up coming over later and we hung out for a bit then I asked her if we were going...

Needless to say were not going to the movie tonight and she's going out with her friend to the clubs.

I don't get why she keeps doing this. Wth is so entertaining about going to the same two clubs every weekend? Why does she do this instead of doing different things with me? Every time we do something we always have a lot of fun. It's always something new and so much more romantic and exciting than going out to the same two clubs.

Were not in a relationship, but It's not like we haven't had sex though. It's painfully obvious that were good together, and everyone thinks were dating, so I don't know what her deal is.

I even talked to her about it two weekends ago and she completely understood, and she seemed to really change and things were going great, but now she's back to her same old self and knows it upsets me but totally acts like it doesn't?

I don't know what to do, please help me.

Remember that creepy girl that always wanted to be around you and constantly kept tabs on what you were doing at all times? The girl that expected no less from you than cutting ties from your old life so you can be her perfect little boyfriend? The girl that always went on and on about how "perfect" you two were and always talked about your futures together and "true love"? The girl that would get bent out of shape when your plans did not revolve around her and made sure you got as much hell for it as she could possibly give? The girl that lived in her own fantasy world where she already invisions you two together when your not and bitches about how you dont feel and act the same way?





































Yeah buddy, YOU ARE THAT GIRL.

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A Tru nigga

I agree with Solteris but I will try to phrase it in a slightly more...constructive manner. You and her are not dating, thus she has no obligation to you.

But here's where it gets funny: you screwed yourself because you were eavesdropping on her. She told her friend she would probably go out Friday, and you took that to mean that she was going to ditch you. Then, on the next freakin day, she asks you if you two still have plans, and rather than just say "yeah, I'll pick you up at 8," you say "you planned it, its up to you." Dude that just made you sound like a dick. She didn't say shit to bail out on you, but you were paranoid going into it.

You claim you played it cool talking to her? Nope, I would bet money that you sounded mopey and rude, that is a shit test I would expect from an annoying woman.

Wait til she says no or bails to have a problem, so far you're just spying on her.

Only reason I didn't bother is because I knew what she was doing, and how it would have ended up. She's done it before.

If I take your route and say "no, i'm picking you up at 8", we would have seen the movie, come straight back, and she'd have ditched me so she could go out to the clubs after. She wouldn't have enjoyed it at all.

At least this way tonight she'll be coming back and sleeping with me.

Plus, I didn't eavesdrop. They have these conversations right in front of me as if its no big deal.

What DJ said, but when she asked if we were going to a movie tonight, I would have asked "Why are you asking?"

I'm the type of personality that likes to dig deeper. I tend to ask a lot of questions, even to the point of answering questions with questions.

The single greatest thing about this practice is not only has it gotten me out of many jams, but I've found that a LOT of things that I preconceive in my head aren't reality. As a side benefit, it occasionally makes the other person think more about what they're asking or what they're saying.

If her answer to the question "Why are you asking?" was that she wanted to go out with her friends, blah blah blah (there's ALWAYS a blah blah blah), again, answer with a question. "So why did you make plans with me earlier in the week?"

See, you keep doing this and eventually all the bullshit starts stripping away and you get to the heart of the problem.

I will warn you, though, use this at your own caution. Sometimes the "heart of the problem" isn't something you want to hear. But if you're interested in the truth, you must be prepared to accept the truth that comes your way.

P.S. If her answer to the first question is "Well, I just don't remember", then your answer is a simple "Yes". Don't worry about if she enjoys it or not, outside of your control to make it an enjoyable experience. If she's not enjoying it because she made plans she didn't want to follow through on, that's on her. She's a person and can make her own decisions.

You are supposed to be the man.
If you don't know what you want for yourself, how can you tell what she needs?

She asked you if you're going and you said "its up to you" well then what did you expect?
Stop acting like a girl who always seek for confirmation and be the man.

BTW, you could have ditched her before if you knew she was going to do so.
could have told her you got some other plans but you would love to go to that movie with her some other time.

to the original poster:

here is your answer:

ready?

DON'T TRY TO FORCE THE ISSUE. INSTEAD GET YOUR SELF INTACT. QUIT BEING NEEDY.

the girl doesn't want to be exclusive. goddamn, that's a blessing!!! lol

relationships are a pain-in-the-ass anyway, no?

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!