Can a lot of sexual flirting get you out of the friend zone?



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PostPosted: Tue May 17, 2011 9:05 am 
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I think im in the friend zone witht his girl.
Basically when I met her, I had a girlfriend and she had a boyfriend, so other than a lot of playful touching (ie arm around shoulder) I didnt escalate.

I think by now, now that were both single (2-3 months later), im well into the friend zone. Im not sure, Im just assuming.

I really want to get close with her sexually, I feel attracted to her.
Lately Ive been flirting a lot jokingly, like I put my hand on her lap and she was like "Umm...could you like, move it to the right?" (she meant to imply off her lap, but right actually was towards her body)
So i was like "Sure!" and I moved my hand up her thigh.
And she laughed and was like "No no I meant left!"
and i was all like "Yeahh subconsciously you meant right, and thats why you said it."

Im wondering (hoping) that this kind of flirting will get her to feel attracted to me...but will it even work? Is this how to get out of the friend zone which im PROBABLY (but not definitely) in?
If not, what else can I do?

We are in all the same classes at uni, so its a bit difficult for me to not see her for like a month then come back tanned and buff or whatever people normally suggest haha :P

Thanks a lot guys. REALLY hope im not doomed here, as I want nothing more than to have her right now. Although, apart from the sexual flirting, i dont show this.


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PostPosted: Tue May 17, 2011 9:37 am 
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Tanned an buffed? Haha never chane yourself simply for a girl. Ever.

And flirting without attraction lands you in the creep zone bro or the we used to be friends. Think about if one of your guy friends did what you were doing to her to you; weird?

Attraction is created first in the mind. You must have the proper stream of thoughts when talking to a girl to generate attraction. Simplying overtly expressing your flirting doesn't do it and can be a bit creepy.

Also do you honestly wanna risk a friendship in order for you to get your dick wet? I wouldn't suggest it. There are plenty of other chicks out there to shag


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PostPosted: Tue May 17, 2011 10:24 am 
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I think one of the basic lessions of PUA is understanding attraction, it's more important in my opinion than any of the other stuff.

Once you have this understanding, you will know what to do to gain attraction, and the greatest thing about this is, she will never know what your up to.

so my advice would be to read pua material on attraction. magic bullets explains attraction from what i can remember.


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PostPosted: Tue May 17, 2011 11:22 am 
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I always thought that once a man gets into Friend Zone, he can (almost) never get out.
I have lots of female friends and I recently broke up with mi GF after 7 years.

So naturally, I started to flirt with my friends to get my skills up to par again. What happened was that I now know of at least 2 of my friends who are either genuinely in love with me or at least want me in some sort of sexual way. In any case are attracted to me.
One of these girls I knew for more than 10 years..

The truth however is that I had changed tremendously in the past few months (daily improving my Game especially InnerGame) and that may answer for the apparent paradox.

They may unconsciously see me as a different man and therefore can feel attraction for this "new man". If I don't make my move for some time, I will probably be again put in to FZ..
But these are all just my speculations..


So my conclusion is YES, you can get with flirting back on track, but it very much depends on the girl and on whether she "perceives" you as a "new man" (in the sense I pointed out in my own example). But even in my example obviously not all the girls are attracted to me, so.. Actually there is one girl who like in your case was strongly attracted to me when I still was with my GF, but now is no longer interested in me sexually anymore..

If you don't care about her as a friend, I'd say Go for it! If you care about her and don't want to lose her friendship, then I'd say forget her and move on to another target.. It's way easier and much less risky..

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PostPosted: Tue May 17, 2011 11:48 pm 
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actually I would say that you're not that far in the friend zone because there isn't much of comfortable touching going on between you but also she isn't interested in you in that kind of way. With my really close female friends I'm like cuddling and hugging all the time but without any sexual tension if I don't want it.


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PostPosted: Wed May 18, 2011 5:03 am 
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So Marquito, what do you suggest?


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PostPosted: Wed May 18, 2011 11:58 am 
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well, you could just leave it and go fuck 10 other girls and then maybe try it again which I would suggest
or you could really try to build sexual tension. Kino more look her in the eye like if you want her and she'll feel it!

There is a lot of stuff out there about shit-tests but most important is to NEVER back up!
Last sunday I was at a girls apartment in order to clear some strange rumors that were going around or what ever...this doesn't really matter.
The important thing is that the SPAM at first was a bit awkward and stiff. I started kino, touching her on the knee while sitting down on the couch and then she was like; 'What are you doing?! Are you hitting on me?!'
I said; 'Yep sure! I want to have fun!'
And of course she didn't expect this response and stood up. I went to the bathroom and when I came back she was lying on her bed saying that she was exhausted or what ever.
So I had a direct proof that reacting like this to a shit test works!
And I fucked her later :D


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PostPosted: Wed May 18, 2011 12:19 pm 
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LOLLL
thats fantastic! Im going to pull that attitude about it, thanks a lot for that :)
Well done also man, massive respect (y)


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PostPosted: Wed May 18, 2011 1:23 pm 
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Also don't make a big deal out of what she says.

The girl I told about said that she won't have sex with me while we were making out and that was like 20 sec before her hand was in my pants!

I just totally ignored it.

Remember; it's only a big deal if you make it one!


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PostPosted: Thu May 19, 2011 12:36 am 
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Alright cool as, danke

But what about what Fuze said, "Think about it if one of your guy friends did what you were doing to her to you; weird?"

Is that exactly how she would see it? Because that makes me want to back RIGHT away lmao[/quote]


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PostPosted: Thu May 19, 2011 12:45 am 
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Okay, there is a major difference between you relationship between you and your guy friends and you and female friends!

Between you and your female friends there can always be sexual tension going on. I really like to keep this going in order to have options.
So if she sees you as a sexual being it won't be awkward like it was between guys.

I hope I answered your question


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PostPosted: Thu May 19, 2011 7:58 pm 
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Damn Marquito, where did you learn that haha.

I agreed with every one of your posts.

-Never back down
-Its a big deal if you make it one (I have hooked up with a lot of my girl-friends, by letting them know sex is no biggie to me, and that its natural.)
-Their words are not their actions. (I made out with a girl 30 seconds after she pulled away from my first attempt. Then F Closed a week later. After we finished, she said "You know this is the only time, right?" What I do know is, girls actions dont match what they say)
-I ALWAYS create sexual tension. It really does leave you options, and in my case, has kept me out of the friend zone multiple times.


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PostPosted: Fri May 20, 2011 4:56 pm 
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Damn Marquito, where did you learn that haha.

I agreed with every one of your posts.

-Their words are not their actions. (I made out with a girl 30 seconds after she pulled away from my first attempt. Then F Closed a week later. After we finished, she said "You know this is the only time, right?" What I do know is, girls actions dont match what they say)
Most stuff I learned by finding out myself. :P

And yep, I think what they say should actually just keep away the AFCs :P
It's always just a shit-test. Just don't care about it at all...
Once I had a girl say to me that she won't have sex with me, while we were making out....30 secs later her hand was in my pants :P

I actually wrote a LR where all this is explained with context lr-about-shit-tests-expecting-the-best-vt91856.html


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