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Figure I should give a little background:
Dated this girl, she loved that I was such a "badass" and didn't care about what her or anybody said, didn't even care much about her.
Then, I started to have feelings for her, fell in love, turned into a Wuss, always "feeling like I was walking of eggshells" trying to make sure I wouldn't upset her because I was afraid to lose her.
She then dumped me, saying that I had changed. I told her I would try to win her back.
So, I didn't give her any contact for an entire week, except on her birthday. We then talked and she said she was pissed because I had said I would try to win her back but she felt like I didn't give a shit about the break-up.
She then told me that she was thinking about things and didn't know what she wanted anymore (single or getting back together).
She invited me one evening to her place to eat, we had a great night, ending up having sex, which led to her telling me that obviously we couldn't continue doing this if we weren't together. I left she kissed me, said that I should watch out and not go out with any girls blablablabla.
Later that week we bumped into each other at a bar, I had a fight with a douche that said something innapropriate about her (which led to a whole argument "I hate when your jealouse blablabla").
FINALLY, I went to her place on Monday (almost 2 weeks ago), she opened the door and had just woke up, was wearing my sweater (had slept in it) and told me "i just dreamed of you".
I told her that I was sorry for what I did, wasn't going to bother her or be trouble anymore in her life but wanted to end on a good note so I came to apologize, and I gave her a USB stick with pictures of us that where on my computer and she had asked for for weeks.
Then I left, and she said "what your just going to leave like that?" and I said "yup".
She then texted me saying that "She didn't want to kick me out of her life at all, but that right now she didn't want a boyfriend but she was so disappointed about how things turned out. She thought it was stupid of me that I just wanted to not contact her anymore, and that I needed to watch out for myself because she had angels looking out for me."
I told her I didn't want her out of my life either but I had to take some distance BECAUSE of HER decision.
She said whatever but that it wasn't a good solution either.
So, we didn't contact each other for almost 2 weeks (well she did facebook chat me once), and I bumped into her last night at a party. She was drunk. She saw me flirting with 2 hot girls, acting like I didn't care and my life was moving on.
I talked with her bestfriend who said that it was retarded I didn't want to speak with her.
So I was the bigger person and went to talk to her, she seemed angry (because I told her that someone told me she didn't want to talk to me anymore), and she seemed like she didn't want to talk, but anyways I was the bigger man at least.
I told her "hey you know i'm good we can be friends" she said "yeah we can be friends but that's not a reason I should lend you this bracelet (it was a themed party and she had cool fluorescent bracelets)"
So I just left, acted cool.
I didn't read the whole thing. Your problem is not that you fell in love with her, your problem is that you got the
fear of losing her. The issue is that you don't know how to deal with female
affection. Like 60 years said, "I'm not impressed of how many girls a guy fucks, but more impressed on how he handles his need for female affection." In other words, we want to be loved but we don't know how to handle it. Being seductive and eventually fucking the girl ain't shit.
Another mistake was saying, "hey you know i'm good we can be friends". Never, ever, bring up being friends with your ex. That will kill everything. I have more to say but I'm a bit busy now so just keep in mind what I told you so far.