So about half a year ago we broke up.

A month ago i was in a bar with a friend having a drink. We are going on a holiday this summer along with some other buddies and their girlfriends. We are having a few drinks and during the conversation he starts talking about me and my ex. On the question you miss her I answered yes.

Next thing I hear is they invited her to come along. She agreed. Im pretty sure they didnt do it because they think she's fun. They were trying to set me back up.

I asked her if she wanted to grab a drink, but she's (pretending?) not interested.

Any thoughts on how to take it from here and any insight on what the female psyche means by accepting a poisonous gift like this.

first question; do you want her back?

yes, i do

thing is we now live 150 miles part (instead of together). As I stated I asked her out to get a drink. Answer:" I dont know if that is such a good idea". Afterwards Ive only asked her out together with the group. But to this date I havent seen her again.

the way the break up went: we decided to have a wait before living together, then she began her first job. All came together and we decided to call it quits (intrest and sexuality levels had gone low) (she initiated it, but was kind of surprised when i immediately agreed and moved on).

In the mean while ive had a new quick relationship which turned out to be shit. Kind of an eye-opener.

Being in the situation that I am I feel like I miss something. My friends know how I feel and that is why they asked her along.

Pua tips on how to handle this the right way?

mmmm first option to this one-itis;
fuck 10 other girls, if you still want her then you can get her back

other options;
well I never had a real relationship so may somebody else give some advice?


But I would stick with my advice. There just is no perfect girl. The advice I give to my friends also is to end the relationship or not restart it and to grow. Get to know new people and evolve!

Agreed.

And if afterwards you really want to get back with her, then my advice would be to just generally enjoy yourself on the trip. Keep your relationship with her friendly, but Neutral. And engage other women, be outgoing and sociable. If she sees you giving attention to other women she may get jealous and come around.

1. Work out what went wrong the first time around
2. Was it bad enough that another relationship with her will never be as good as the first?
3. Are your current circumstances going to affect (in a negative way) a relationship with her?
4. Does she know she was invited along because you're friends were trying to hook you 2 back up?
5. How does she feel towards you?

Those are some of the questions you'll want to answer before deciding. If the answer to 2. and 3. is a "yes", then dont bother with rekindling the relationship.

Breaking up is a really complicated thing. It's almost never a conclusion that's come to suddenly, and it really never happens for just one reason. Breaking up changes your life dramatically. People don't like change. Even people who like change, don't really like it that much. Especially not jarring, painful, difficult change like a break up. It's just not a snap decision.

Consider the situation that led up to the break up. She took a job far away while you were dating. That suggests that you were already drifting apart. Perhaps you weren't drifting apart emotionally, but your lives were. Maybe you were already drifting apart emotionally. Consider how you felt when the breakup happen. You moved on quickly because you had already emotionally broken up with her a long time before that. By the time it actually happened, you were ready for it and needed to move on to the next chapter in your life.

Since then, you've done nothing but grow apart.

Personally, I've never known a second-chance relationship to work. Ever. That doesn't mean it's not possible, but you really need to consider everything I just said. Even if I read it wrong, I'd still bet cash money that the break-up wasn't as simple as meer distance. If you can face all that and still want her back, go for it. You also need to accept that it will almost certainly end in disaster. It will most likely end for the same reasons it did before, just a lot quicker the second time around.

You also need to realize how easy it is to get oneitus when dealing with an ex. An ex is different from an other potential girlfriend. An ex has the potential to drag you through an emotional rollercoaster before you even realize it. She could toy with you for months and you wouldn't even realize you were being played. She may not be that type of women, but women are women. Why then see a weak man, they exploit. It's very difficult not to put yourself in this kind of situation when dealing with an ex.

If you really want to give it another try, then do it. Life is too short to live in what-ifs. But be warned, all the reasons you broke up in the first place will still be there when you go back to her. If that's something you think you can deal with, then deal with it. But think clearly, are you going back to her because she made you happy or are you going back to her because being single made you sad. There are a lot of other options out there, so don't just go back to something familiar because you don't want to be alone.

wow, thx for the advice guys..

I had someone else but it really felt like shit. It was a pretty girl but in the end i was just comparing and she came up short to little miss ex (and a lot). I thought I did everything good for this breakup, but half a year through and now I really start to feel it.

in the meanwhile ive booked myself a date (just go to dinner) this friday with her. Any thoughts on how the conversation should go or how to approach this?

All I can say is this: Your one of the lucky suckers who got a second chance. Don't blow it.

I couldn't agree with you anymore jaminv, you are right on dead target. I'm in the same situation, where my ex and I broke up and here I am feeling like shit... but I'm not too emotionally attached because I'm looking forward to doing PUA like the old days. She's messing with me doing the push pull shit on me, and I'm not really falling for it... as much other women there are out there, and as much I can move forward, I myself, as an artist, in a way want to go back because as jaminv said, we don't adapt to changing so quickly, and we don't want to because we're afraid... rather we'd stay with the same ex and "force" to live a happy life, when in return she'll then know how to exploit us and make us feel like shit. It's difficult to say it, but as much as even I can't do it, you have to move on and forget about her... if you can make her a friend, do it, but I'd suggest finding a new girl... because in the long run as EVERYONE says, ex's NEVER WORK OUT.