This is very, very wise advice indeed. Some people go their entire lives and don't have (or aren't willing to conjure) the type of brutal honesty that leads to insight like this.

The original poster in this thread would be well-advised to learn from such wisdom when it is expressed.

_________________
what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

"A Married women wants to do me.. "

Even from a purely selfish point of view there is a consideration that if the husband finds out it will be HIM who wants to do you.

Think of all the single HB's out there who have no complications around them, you're only making life harder for yourself.

Unfortunately the reality is in many ways it is actually easier to score with marrieds. As the OP has found out firsthand the married woman is actually gaming him. That is often the case, marrieds that are looking for extra are often the ones that make the first move.

Single chicks are in high demand and are usually being gamed by multiple dudes at any given time and the chicks know they are in high demand and will hold out for the best deal.

Married women are often the ones that do the gaming and often times it's not the alpha studs they are hitting on but rather the gullible AFC. Often times they will directly target AFCs because they know the AFC will be easily duped and manipulated and will jump through on their hoops.

It's easy to score married poontang. The problem is that you immediatly inherit all their garbage and dirty laundry and you are the one left looking like the fool when the shit hits the fan.

Keep your integrity dude. I know you want to jump at the opportunity to get laid.

But come on, I know your better than that. There are a billion other women out there DESPERATE for your cock

Hey Carson,

Despite how you may feel about the aforementioned advice (attacked, misunderstood, etc.) there is one other possibility that no one has brought up. I'm surprised, actually.

This woman could be making all this up.

As long as you are willing to rationalize the situation based on what you supposedly "know" about it, you should also consider the possibility that the woman is inventing a story for you. Let's say that it is a given that these two are married. She tells you the husband has cheated on her several times. That may or may not be true. She tells you she has cheated on him with her pharmacist, but only with him. That may or may not be true. The only thing you know for sure is that she claims she is married, and that she wants to have sex with you. The rest of it is smoke and mirrors.

The only thing you have to answer for yourself is whether or not you want to sleep with a married woman without the consent of her husband.

_________________
- Lux et Veritas -

Here's the details at bay....


what the previous poster sent was right.. It all comes down to me deciding whether or not i am willing to sleep with a woman who says she is married without her husbands consent.. its really that simple and that is what I need to ask myself.


Forums are tricky cause even after the most detailed post, their are details people may not pick up because they weren't there.. I can see various assumptions are made about the situation because people are filling in the gaps.. but I understand why this is so..


So heres some of the details (and I'm really just venting here)(thats all Im doin now)

-I lost my religion not too long ago, have been bitter with the concept of god, and have had to re-decide my new moral high ground. I decided the religion wasn't for me and I didn't expect to have to face a situation just like this. Recent scrambling of morals can jack anyone up temporarily.

-the night I went out and met this woman, I was proud of myself. sincerely. I got out of my apartment, left to the club all by myself and initiated conversation with a group of strangers which can be super intimidating. On top of that I was willing to build attraction with someone, rep oar with the group, so it was a huge boost to my self esteem.. Then to have a woman hitting on me.. but then the confusion kicked in too

-So I am not without conversation skill but I'm not too the point where young single girls hit on me often.. If a guy has to wait six months intervals to get laid ever, an opportunity that comes is all the more inciting. Im working to generate those opportunities despite my past. A busty woman is tempting obviously

So it was a tough mix of emotions (proud for going out) (proud for building attraction) (feeling edgy as I dominated, which is a great feeling) (taking off guard and having to use a morality that doesn't encompass what I consider brain washing religion) Maybe this will be a good lesson for me

P.S One of the other posters of this forum seemed to imply that I want or deserve a nice, single girl I can share some beautiful commitment with and pua is not about getting laid. I've gotta pull the B.S flag on this one.. Pua is not about getting laid and but it is also not about being committed. it doesn't specify.. It's about having tools and self esteem and skills at your disposal. personally I don't think there's anything wrong with sleeping with a ton of woman as long as your safe. I am not looking for some nice single girl to marry me. personally I'd love wild and crazy woman to throw themselves at me. I'm not really sure there is anything wrong with this. To assume so is to project your morals on someone else.

I've wanted to be that guy that girls just want to use for his body. I've always wanted that. I've wanted to be that guy that didn't always have to imply a relationship was going to happen to have a girl initiate sex with him. I've wanted to be that "edgy" guy that woman want to sleep with and feel exilerated to do so. I've wanted to have all options available.

Most of my life I have not been that guy so I am working on it. This was one of the first woman in my life who simply wanted to meet and get to business. It wasn't about me having to pretend. it wasn't about me having to tell her or pretend I take things slow. Other woman seem to be offended when the topic of sex comes into play. I am so sick of all that bull shit. It was a turn on to have a woman treat me like I want to be treated.. and thats really what I want. maybe it was just too fast for a married women to do that to me. Got to figure out my moral high ground first

Don't over-intellectualize the situation at hand.

It's not about moral high ground. At least, it doesn't have to be.

It can simply be about potential for danger and/or drama.

_________________
what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

Guys I'm just probably a terrible person. I don't know what to think about morality any more. I don't know what to think of marriage. I'm sorry if I haven't listened well or have been defensive. thank you for listening.

I just feel like a bad person.. I gotta figure out this crazy thing called life..

thanks man. thats a good point and I think you may be right.

I hope I can do better about not getting myself in these situations. it is scary and it does suck..

My last GF was married when I met her. I had a consent of the husband to sleep with her, even so, things got ugly. There are so many consequences that you can't even imagine at the moment when you think it's just a little fun and it's her choice anyway. So feel flattered that she's into you, feel good about your game at the club and leave it at. And don't feel guilty for wanting to sleep with her. She presented herself to you in a way that makes it guilt-free for you, even so, it's probably a bad idea to go forth with it. If they're in an open marriage, well that's another thing.

I enjoy emotional baggage and drama, it's like a buffet or roller coaster ride of varying emotions, im weird that way I suppose. If you move within their social circle or can do, id still say dont do it, if not then it's probably 'fine'. Like everyone correctly says, how desperate are you? and are you willing to inherit all that baggage and the fall out - bare in mind distance and accessibility effects how much of an emotional drama tampon you can be. This is why holiday flings occur so often, it's without effective consequence.

Im not proposing do or dont, im just reflecting on the situation. My gut instinct tells me you want to and are looking for any validation to proceed. Interestingly enough your personal desires are battling with your social conditioning, whatever your outcome or choice the end result is the same - just being human within your current conditions....arg must resist the urg to go into determinism pov >

1) WTF is open marriage??? It is out of my vocabulary...

2) Morality. You have to set you own code which you live by...e.g. set of rules etc. One of my rules is not to sleep with married women, because if I was the husband, then either me or the guy my wife is cheating with, would end up in a hospital in a critical condition. Cheating is a no-no.


BTW they are easier to get, but even without considering the potential dangers of this affair, ask yourself simple question:

How would it feel for you to find out that woman you've been married to for 10 years is making out with dude she just met, and wants "to get to business"? That would suck. Big time.

Just forget about her.

Excellent points LYL!

Morality is the sticky issue here, and is so circumstantial and subject, he needs to weigh it all up and rationalise the result to himself. To me morality and social conditioning is like a rough guide people follow to maintain a peaceful and ordered life, sometimes it can be the best advice ever and other times not so helpful. Some can argue it's only unhelpful when a person is being selfish, but we dont live in a utopian society - we are all to the core selfish in some aspect: willing to place our basic needs and desires above a strangers.

As to that how would you feel question... well if it happened to me yes Id initially think about it, then ignore it and really ask myself instead : what have I done or not done to steer the relationship to the point when a female wants to do that to me (without going into the whole- all women can cheat debate)

To some people, morality or "ethics" are subjective and fluid.

Not for me.

I live and die by a strong moral code.

I think, that is what it means to be a MAN.

If not, what separates us from women?

Traditionally, men have fought, lived by, and died for their own moral codes.

I believe it's engrained in us to take a fucking stand and believe in something...anything!

When we do this, we are powerful, we construct, we build...society!

When we don't, we are bitches...just like bitches.

It is MANLY to know what you believe and stand by it.

For Sparta!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

_________________
what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

LYL, many people have open marriages, I don't know if it's a European thing, but they do exist.