Personally, I don't think that the 'inner game' topic even belongs in PU; just about everything I read in regards to inner game in the PU community is delusional guess work at best and psychotic habits at worst. Seriously, if you feel you need to work on emotional/psychological issues, look OUTSIDE of pu and seek professionals who actually study and practice this very specialized field instead confiding with a community of glorified lounge lizards. (This is a pu forum. Find answers for pick up issues here . . . that's about it. If you had a question for fly fishing, would pose the question here?)

In the chat recently, I found a few guys who shook their virtual pom poms telling another member that he is, "BETTER than the girl"(a specific target). I don't remember the specifics but they were also able to quickly rattle off several more messages that amount to the same idea and the chat room clapped their virtual hands. . . I appreciate the comradery but this is just so fucking moronic that I thought I'd address it.

My simple reply, "HOW is he better? . . . Name one thing." - Not one person was able to answer this question so I'll fill in some possibilities for giggles: The guy read "The game" and she didn't? He's got a penis and she doesn't? He dreams big? He's really, really nice to his mommy? I can't think of any other 'group' who has taken these basic 'self help' concepts and twisted them around to match their egotistical, comical beliefs. I'm not sure whether to laugh or to cry . . . Can you imagine a band of software engineers clapping about how they are 'better than bugs'? Fly fisherman clapping about how they are 'better' than salmon? (And in these cases, it would even be true. Other than the few times I hooked myself, I have yet to be 'caught' by a fish and coders typically fix bugs.)

Most 'groups', whether virtual or real, define the term "SELF LIMITING BELIEFS" as a personal set of belief patterns that hold an individual back. Thus the 'cure' is to create a positive set of personal beliefs that support the individuals dreams and goals. Only in this forum have I seen the cure for self limiting beliefs to repeat to yourself over and over that "I AM BETTER THAN HER." - Really? You're the drop out, jobless kid who lives with mommy and you're better than the hot girl who's a med school intern?

For those with limited imagination, ^this is like a fat hb2 shaking her farty ass in your face, telling you that she's a hot model. What would you say and do? EXACTLY . . . and this is what the girls are telling all their friends about you. . .

All of ^this is the opposite of fixing 'limiting beliefs' as it only feeds fuel for negative feedback from others and your self. Some are better than others about lying to themselves but EVERYBODY always knows it. Even if you pretend what others tell you 'doesn't matter'. . . you will always know the truth.

Just so that we're clear:
Stick with what you can easily do and what is really the only demonstrable strength of members of this community. 1 Open. 2. Routine. 3. Close. . . And sometimes offer mediocre recipes and exercise recommendations. That's all . . .

-LMAO
Truly a great way to help people with low self-esteem...


well...all I can say is...saying you're better than somebody=being judgmental (even if its true you still suck for pointing it out)

Saying "I'm not worse than her. We are on the same level"-good mindset to start genuine conversation. + adds some confidence...

My personal favorite mindset, is still:

"If you don't approach this girl, you'll be ALONE FOREVER!!! STOP being a PUSSY!!! Get your ass over there!!!"

-the more aggressive the better...to the point I'd rather prefer prefer to do an approach in the most unsuitable situation rather than staying on the same spot...

But basically, your argument comes down to good, old:

"Don't be judgmental"

^Why not just focus on the tasks at hand? Why clutter the mind with so much bs? Better than, worse than, equal to, approach because of this, don't approach because of that, I will be this, I will be that. Really . . . is all of this necessary for a conversation?

There was probably a time when you were nervous about buying a slurpee at 7-11 because you were a 6 year old and you never mixed that crap together or ever made any cash purchases. Did you pump yourself up by telling yourself that you're better than a slurpee machine or the pimple faced kid working the register?

. . . Or did you observe some other people, go over the routine, and count your money? . . .

While I laughed and largely agree, most people didn't flat up walk to the slurpee machine as a 6-year-old and, with the utmost confidence, mix shit together and toss your money on the counter while you walk out.

As you said yourself, 'observe some other people' - but not all skills can be mastered in simple observation.

And unlike the slurpee machine, it's possible to fail here. Sure, we didn't pump ourselves up going "I GOT THIS, THERE ARE MANY SLURPEE MACHINES IN THE WORLD" - but did we need to? When was the last time you approached a slurpee machine and got "Fuck off?" And, if you did, you'd walk away thinking thoughts like "Whatever, man, I don't need you. I'm better than you. You're a fuckin' slurpee machine, man."

While I agree that sometimes a lot of this stuff seems convoluted - and being largely 'natural game' myself, I feel like a lot of this stuff seems complicated to think about and sometimes even harmful to incorporate... But at the same time, I see some elements of 'game' in my 'natural' approaches. For years I led girls on (only girls I already knew), and without any concept of 'negging' I was doing similar things, while I saw other guys (who, looking back, I think they had some 'game' knowledge) over-neg and I'd sit there thinking "He's just being offensive how doesn't he see it..?"

That said, sometimes it seems complicated and exhausting for no real point, when the end result is "Just talk to a girl and get her to like you" - we all have friends (who presumably like us) and we didn't need a manual, so?

But at the same time, I know a lot of it seems complicated/drawn-out because it's the 'intuitive' shit some guy was doing (A big 'natural game' original who actually took his thoughts, analyzed them logically, and tried to pass them off as a science when in fact it's just some experience-proven shit), and if you mastered your 'game' it'd be natural and not silly at all.

That all said, what you're bringing up almost sounds like part of the learning process. I've heard people say they're "better than their bicycle" to pump themselves up after falling down on their bike and thinking "I can't do it" (granted, little kids), and you hear people saying "You're better than [x]" all the time, to indicate "you have nothing to fear, just try and you've got this" - if nothing else, why can it not be that?

In certain cases, why can't that be the right solution? Not everyone is a jobless keyboard jock talking to a hot intern. Why can't it sometimes be that you're an awesome guy while a girl just says "Fuck off" without even giving you a chance to be friendly? And, in those cases, why is it wrong to shrug it off with "Whatever I don't need her" rather than letting it affect you?

You gave no context here. It isn't like some punk shit all over his own game and then the girl laughed in his face. In that case, he needs to better himself and not bitch. That's not always the case.

The thought that everything is up to you is scary indeed.
Realize that in the end,you are only what you accomplished!

In certain instances we are better than those around us. These would be cases of clearcut character flaws. I have no problem becoming comfortable with the fact that I am better than most people in life, however, I am a narcissist and this has been incorporated into my thinking long before discovering PUA.

However, running around all day long trying to convince oneself that he is better than everyone so as to be unfazed by rejection is ridiculous. I think as a previous poster suggested, that realizing you are "as good as" is a healthier mindframe.

IDK though, I'm not a PUA. I'm just a dude. I'm taking my time learning this stuff not to be some mystical manipulator of women, but instead to try to gain some insight into the dynamic of women and relationships in general from those more experienced than me who are willing to share their experiences and epiphanies.

_________________
what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

^This is the mindset of a low level mechanic right here. When you walk away telling yourself that you're better than the machine:

1. You get no slurpee.
2. The slurpee machine is fact, BETTER than you.

A better mechanic will most likely go back and forth from outlets of frustration to re-strategitization of the situation until he GETS a slurpee and actually becomes better than the machine.

^This is impossible to achieve if you're a delusional fool who's busy convincing himself that he is 'better, better, better' while he has no slurpee in hand.
Sure . . . but this is very different than the fat, lazy, low leveled jobless wanna-be mechanic who thinks he's better than anybody out there and is a gift to all women. The very notion of this is such an gross display of self mockery and low self esteem that I didn't think too many people followed it. And I understand that typically, people with these mindsets suffered some unfavorable pasts but really . . . this is just a path towards more suffering.

Not only certain instances . . . in many instances. You might have a better comedic mind than me, you might sing better, you might run faster . . . I'm sure you have many talents.
If you lived by yourself in a cave and were gaming only your hand every night, all you'd need is to be comfortable with yourself. Since this is not what most people in this forum are after, we need to work on what makes OTHERS comfortable and attracted to our lives. - This is of course impossible to do as the village moron who thinks he's a genius. . . unless your goal is sympathy from some, pity from others, and a punch in the face by the less patient.
Not sure why everybody is so intent on using success or failures in pick up to "DEFINE" their lives. Look, if you just got shot down, then you probably need to work on some pu materials and you could have caught the girl while she was bloated with pms. What really is the big deal"? I am equal to a bloated pms'ing chick in life? WTF? I am better than her? Worse than her? Should we hold a foot race?

So, the way I see it there are the successful ones that accept the situation for what it is . . . and take the actions needed to reach their goals, regardless of whether or not they like their options.

And then we have the others who go around patting themselves on the shoulder and making up excuses to protect their ego by saying "you're cool man . . . you don't need any of this . . . you're better than her . . . you're better than all of them."

You gotta accept certain things for what they are and begin a new strategy according to those failures - instead of making up excuses for why those failures have no impact on you and why you're still awesome. Move forward, quit standing still?

I'm a mechanic by trade, and I laughed out loud about "the slurpee machine actually being better than you!" hahahahaha

I've been raped by so many machines.

_________________
what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

this one I absolutely agree with. Know how to do it?

But the whole "Whatever this doesn't matter in the end anyways"-sounds looserish

E.G. You fail to get into good school, and instead of reapplying you walk away saying...whatever, I'm not my college. - Not my thing...

I think the key here in finding balance between, not being affected by your failures, but still keep trying...I think this is one of concepts in karma yoga...

But how to not feel like shit, when you fail after putting an effort into something and that thing fails...E.G. getting blown out, or a project in your workplace, which you've spent a year working on and then some dumbass who somehow ended up having a higher position than you tells you that it isn't good enough...

If you guys know how to dis attach yourself from outcome, tell me please.

you seem to have a very condescending tone which makes it very hard for me to take anything from your post. instead of inspiring me to pursue a different mind set you simply put down theories.

new rule: the only way to pickup women is by doing exactly as kasabi says, nothing else will work for you.

all i know is saying "your a disillusioned fool" doesnt make people jump on board with you. i agree that you shouldnt live on false hope but i suppose its better to think "im of high value" rather than think "im a worthless piece of shit"

also i think having the state of mind that "you are the prize" is more of a way to deal with AA, you dont go with the intention of getting shot down and saying " oh well, im better than her"

@ Mr. Stinson.

From what I understood from kasabi's post, is that he isn't saying think of yourself as a "worthless shit"

He is saying have a strong sense of reality.

Punchline:

You don't need to be better than her to be worth something a.k.a. don't base your confidence on whether you're better or worse than somebody. All you need is to be the best you can be.

It's all self stylised opinionated bullshit, just do whatever YOU need to do to approach a member of the opposite sex and seduce her, if you manage this by standing on your head fair enough, what works for one person doesnt work for another.

Religion, Pick Up, yes even Psychology, are not sciences backed up with cold hard scientific data, they are based on opinion or retrospective conjecture. They can all loosely be pigeon holed into a 'belief system', this doesnt necessarily mean that applying them to seducing women is incorrect, it's just a collection of many methods or beliefs that you can use to achieve your goal - sleeping with a female. Like I said do whatever you need to do, it all works and doesnt work to some extent.

Stay tuned for the next fad diet!

Give some thoughts to your reaction at my 'condescending' voice. Why is it more important to you to react to my negative voice than to think about the issue at hand? There are a million different ways to converse with others. Go ahead and tell me to F off but shouldn't your thoughts on how to present yourself to others precede ^the above feelings?
My goal with this thread is:

1. Ridicule the village idiots enough to get them thinking about their own thought processes. (Anybody who goes around with "I am better than you" have usually heard the same from many others . . . and probably still own the same traits/characteristics and lack of talents that make others feel that way.)

2. Hopefully #1 will keep them from actually ADVISING others to be just as moronic as themselves.

*We tend to find the answers we're looking for. If newbies come aboard looking for ways to insult others and create targets of themselves in the process, then they will absolutely latch on to some of the weird shit that can be found on this forum.

To those who simply want to pick up some women, stay clear of nonsense and go with what makes sense. Approach, open, routine, close.
This is a different topic but . . . one way to 'think' is not better than the other. If you think that you're a piece of shit, simply deciding that you are not a piece of shit is a difficult proposition. Just accept your own feelings and then MOVE ON to figure out why you feel that way; What are the actual, tangible reasons? . . . Then get strategizing and get moving. The FR section is now filled with guys who did the same and many are not only thinking that they are high value but actually have BECOME HIGH VALUE to the REAL PEOPLE around them.