Thanks man. It is great advice. I don't think she will be out to get me. I was more concerned about her fiance but isn't my place and I did show him respect. I appreciate the help guys

You really are fucked putting your fate in her hands, ive been in a similar situation. It's not her fault it's yours for being dumb enough to initiate, that kiss sealed your doom, now deal with the fallout.

Mistakes I made with my situation was telling anyone about it, forced her to react and then the lies started pouring out in order for her to save face.

Someone loved me upstairs though, since my mobile phone accidently dialed a friends number and answer machine recorded most of the jilting being done by me in my bedroom. Thank fuck it did, otherwise biggus the 'rapist' would be most likely in prison getting done up the gary by some fuckwit. Women can be merciless bitches. Nothing you can do about it, just keep quiet and not worry about it, it's out of your control.

dude you're fucking lucky! you're right... this is a lesson learned for me. Out of the handful of girls I've been with recently, each and every one of them is insane in their own way. And trust me... I don't scope out the weirdos, I like the cute innocent chicks. I've learned more about females in the past 6 months then I have in my entire life

fearless,

remember one thing:

(somebody on this forum said this, it isn't my quote, but i don't remember who)

WOMEN ARE EXACTLY LIKE MEN, ONLY THEY ARE MISSING TWO THINGS, A PENIS AND INTEGRITY.

it is a funny statement, however, it would be funnier if it wasn't frighteningly true.

I'm with you up until here.

From my experience, bosses are friends up until the point you become a problem.
Your problem, becomes his problem, and the best way to solve it for him is to cut you loose. Sure, afterward he may buy you dinner for no hard feelings--this actually was a real scenario with one of my friends when I was younger. However, he is still going to cut you lose.

Since you have come up with a decision, I feel comfortable sharing how and why I would approach things if I were in your shoes.

First, you and this girl are at a stand-off. She knows this, but you don't know this. She has your job in her hands, you have her relationship in your hands. Unlike in Chess, there is no first mover advantage. If she tries to mess with your job, she loses her relationship. If you try to mess with her relationship, you lose your job.

The most optimal solution for both of you, is to keep your mouth shut, act like it never happened, and move on and preferably keep contact at a minimum.

Here is the deal, the longer the time passes the less of an argument she has. Take an extreme example, suppose you both are still at this job three years down the line and at that point she has filed for divorce. Remember, throughout this entire time you have minimized your interaction with her and there are no new incidences with her. She then goes to your boss and indicates three years ago you came onto her and kissed her in a hotel. First question she will be asked is, what has he done since then. Her response will be nothing. Then, there is no issue and nothing is at stake. Problem solved.

Finally, it seems like you have this burning desire to tell someone. If you have to tell someone, tell your priest. He will keep it private, absolve your from you sins and you're good to go. Otherwise, tell no one--not your best friend, not your family, no one.

nashlife,

that is some very good advice you have given. with one possible exception:

what if she decides to escalate and fabricate incidents that haven't happened.

in that case, "first strike" could provide an advantage.

however, i still agree with you that it is a lose-lose if it comes to that, because you are right, most managers have a policy of: if you are a pain in my ass, you are gone. (regardless of who is "right" or "wrong")

i know this from personal experience.

two years ago, i was fired from a job after being gang-harassed by the other three guys on our team. i had documentation that i never failed to do my job, that i never did any of the things that they accused me of, and i had detailed documentation of their ongoing campaign against me from day one.

know what my manager said?

you are a nice guy. i know you are being truthful. but the fact still remains, that it's either you go or my entire team doesn't work well together. i'm sorry.

Mack sorry to hear about your situation. This probably is no solace, but I've seen it happen tons of times to the best of people. Personally, that is why I am no longer part of the corporate environment. I really got sick of the amount of non work related BS required in that kind of environment.

Hey, the general saying in the corporate world is, "If you not been fired once, you have no spirit."

In my opinion the best case scenario is that she does openly fabricate circumstances.

I'm an older person, so I am at that part in my life where I will come down hard on people who unfairly try to compromise my job or life or what have you.

Here is a purely hypothetical situation not at all related to this thread but just a made up story I want to share:

John and Sally work for the same company. John is single, Sally is married. John and Sally along with others are assigned to a client out of state and they have to take an extended trip which requires them to stay at a hotel together.

One night, Sally comes to John's room and asks to talk. John, allows her in and closes the door. They talk for about an hour about nothing in particular. Sally then leaves his room.

Upon returning to their company, John is called in by HR. His boss is there as well. His boss asks John if he had inappropriate relations with Sally. John says no. His boss says there are many co-workers who indicate Sally was in John's room for a period of time. John says they were talking. The boss says, he has no choice but to fire John.

John, who knows his rights, indicates to his boss if he is going to fire him based on purely circumstantial evidence--primarily his words against hers--then he, the boss, better pay for a lie detector test to determine who is most likely telling the truth.

Otherwise, he will sue for unfair practices along with other employment related violations. The boss, call John's bluff and fires him.

John lawyers up--on contingency mind you. John now has at least two claims, probably more:

1: Against his employer for unfair practices along with other employment violations
2: Sally for Slander--she lied, it tainted his reputation, and he was fired for it so he lost a significant amount of income.

No one wants to make headlines. All parties settle, John's record is clear. He can move on to find a new job without having a, "fire for harassment," hanging round his neck.

Granted, John is not a pussy. He does not give a care whether he destroys the company, the coworkers anyone so long as he is not unfairly treated. John does not care about making headlines. He knows he is right and he his being treated unfairly and if it requires destroying his boss, HR, co-workers career, he does not care. He will do what he has to do to keep his livelihood from being jeopardized.

hey nashlife, love it man!

only way this could be more intimidating is if it was delivered by The Rock while he was holding a 2 x 4, lmao

you're a smart dude.

Hey fellas. Turns out she must have told him. I got a call from him asking where I was. He was a little more than upset. Im away right now but coming home tomorrow. I called him back telling him what happened and how I feel. Hopefully things simmer down

By "Him" do you mean the boss? Or Fiancee?

Either way,.. good luck, and May the Schwartz be with you!

oh shit, fearless, be careful...

keep us posted.

pack heat.

good luck mate

Okay so I got home yesterday, stayed at my mums for the night. I really don't want to be found right now so I stayed away from the office today as well. I called my boss to tell him (who is friends w/ him) and told him everything that happened. ODDLY enough he did not know what happened so I begged him to keep it to himself. I figure he didn't want anyone to know because he's embarrassed and it looks like he is staying with his fiance. I think this benefits me because if he doesn't want people to know his fiance is a slut then it would be a good idea for him to leave me alone. If he screws w/ me or my property I will know exactly who it was and tell everyone.


Now the thing is tomorrow I'm going back to the office and on Thursday night we have an event. If he wants to find me he can and he knows exactly where I will be. He hasn't called me looking for me or anything like that since that initial time I told you about. I think that's a good sign. Hopefully he realizes that the problem isn't me but his whore fiance.


To elaborate on what he said when he called. Outside of yelling and threatening me, he made it clear that he was upset that I didn't tell him and that he thought I respected him. I made sure when I called him back I left a voicemail expressing to him how torn I was on whether I should tell him and it wasn't an easy decision for me and how I'm sorry what happened. I told him I showed respect by not pursuing her and telling her to knock it off.

Hopefully this kid will stop being such a chump and realize his fiance is trouble

Why do you find that odd? Do you really expect the fiancée to come forward and tell him?

I've threatened to beat guy's asses before who my ex cheated with even though I knew it wasn't their fault. The color "RED" tends to make things fuzzy.

Oops, this probably didn't help. LOL

_________________
what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!