How do you relax around girls you have feelings for? If I like a girl and haven't seen her in awhile, then all of a sudden see her, my heart starts pounding. Then after a bit I'm better. I've dated a girl who I had 0 feelings for, and was cooler than ice cold around her. Never thinking about, "Oh shit... I'm about to see her" blablabla. Just did my thing, not really thinking about her. Then when I saw her, I saw her. With these other girls, I think about them before hand... especially if we're meeting up. I just wanna be cooler than ice cold around females that I like.

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I use to be insecure... but then I got #Based.

You have one option to relax tough, you can get wasted No I'm just kidding man (don't do that).

Try with some breathing excersises, or 30 second meditation (that works for me), or something really cool, that I haven't tried, but it looks great it's called tapping, here's the link:

approach-anxiety-tapping-technique-vt86299.html

Enjoy

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How my life looks like right now: STUDY HARD, PARTY HARD

Why would you spend a second around a girl you didn't have feelings for, unless she was just a friend?

Those girls that make your heart race when you go to approach them, and you can't stop thinking about what it would be like to undress them and see their beautiful body in front of you? THOSE are the girls you want to approach and talk to, and ONLY those girls.

The only way to be cool and collected when you're around them, is to see a lot of them until you're used to it!

Until then, try and take all that emotion and energy and focus it on conveying sexuality with great eye contact. When most guys are nervous, the tendency is to look away, laugh nervously or fidget. Instead, just take all the feelings in your gut and heart and just burn a hole in her left eye with that strong and sensual look. If you're visualising having sex with her whilst you're making that kind of eye contact, she'll probably feel it too!

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Thanks for posts gentlemen.

Blonde, maybe my first post was confusing, or I read yours wrong. I'm not talking about girls who I do not know, and wanna approach her cuz she's hot. I still do have AA but it's not nearly as bad as if my ex that I really liked wants to meet up, or something like that. Someone you have already established a relationship with, friend or g/f, and you like her... My heart pounds then. As far as doing cold approaches, I don't know the chick so I really don't care if I get rejected. I escalate a lot harder and faster with chicks I don't know, cuz I don't care. But with girls I do care about, I'll hold back n shit... thinking about the situation too much before actually meeting this girl gets my heart booming.

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I use to be insecure... but then I got #Based.

i just learned what i considered a valuable lesson the other week and i think it will help you too. The reason your probably nervous around this girl/girls is because you have created an image of them that could benefit you in your life aside from sex. you think this girl is right for you, you could go to movies with her, laugh at the same shit etc so you put alot more value on her and the things she could bring you.

honestly in a way you should only want them for sex atleast until youve done the deed with her because if you DO create that ideal image of her then eventually she will slip up and say something that destroys that image and youll be pissed. the other day, my oneitis at work came up to me and just randomly started saying something about how she had a one night stand with some guy and his parents were right over there. even though i have sex with girls fairly frequently this still pissed me off and was something i didnt want to hear. now if i had simply wanted her for sex (not in soulless creepy way) i could have turned that into a positive situation for me but instead i got upset and didnt make the best of it.

like blondeguy said, try and overcome your nerves by getting into a sexual state and translate that into strong eye contact to build sexual tension. think about it this way: when you do future project images of you and her being together what do you fantasize about? you dont think about holding her hand and walking in the park, you think about FUCKING THE CRAP OUT OF HER in a romantic kinda way then walking through the park. in the end it all comes down to you wanting her sexually, but when your around her your too scared to pursue the sexual route.

you want sex , pursue that sex and put your anxiety/fears aside. how will you fuck her then take her to the park if your to afraid to try and fuck her?

Mr. Stinson - Appreciate the post bro. You're right, when I do think about these girls, it is some luvy duby ish... mixed with some sex. My ex though, for some reason I have a hard time getting sexual with her in my head, and can easily do the booboo fascination with her. Probably why last time I saw her I got super nervous. I haven't had sex with these 2 girls, so that would explain it. First I'll try to pursue sex, then the luvy duby shit after...

Thanks

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I use to be insecure... but then I got #Based.

There is a technique that more recently I have found really handy. I've applied it since I've generally started spending a lot more time hanging around with a few hot girls after breaking up with my girlfriend and getting a new job. Basically I've noticed whenever I start getting needy and lame around them it's because I'm thinking about a future with them so I'm dependant upon the outcome of an interaction.

What I do whenever this happens to counter it is remind myself - What can I really expect from them? What can they really offer me? If it's saviour or happiness that I think they can give me then this isn't fair - so I remind myself, there is nothing they can offer me and nothing that I need.

This does two things 1) It helps make me non-outcome dependant and controlled by sexual desire and 2) puts things into perspective as far as a potential relationship is concerned...

This is my technique anyway it might not work for everyone, and isn't full proof just handy sometimes. There is the risk of putting yourself immediately in the 'friend' zone however I find this can be countered by standard cocky/dangerous behaviour!... Let me know your thoughts anyway chaps

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JJ

yeah but when your having a bad day or are just in one of those needy moods its truly hard to get to that state of mind because you would much prefer if they COULD offer you something.

and PuaKing glad you appreciated the post. everytime you get nervous around someone you value try and tap into that sexual state and focus on the outcome of the interaction as building sexual tension. you want sex, not affection.

Stinson - Yeah. Whenever this girl pops into my head, I'm making it sexual. I already feel different, and it's good. I feel like I got more of a hold on myself again. Affection after sex. But I mean damn! Female affection is one hell of a thing. Makes me wanna be all boobo'd up, play my RnB jams and imagine, and distracts me from my goals in my life.

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I use to be insecure... but then I got #Based.

i think the more time you spend around her, the more you are going to start to relax. you might find it helpful to keep initial interactions brief and walk away for for a good amount of time doing other things. when you come back you'll proably feel a lil more comfortable. another thing that might help is gaming warm up or two beforehand to get yours chops down or get you in state.

also, i find that kino actually helped me feel more comfortable around girls i was interested in

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