I live in a small town outside of a city I went to college at and I am having trouble meeting girls. To tell you the truth, I have not been laid in 7-8 months. My main difficulty is that I no longer "sarge" online. This eliminates a lot of my former playing field.

I work at a small town Wal-Mart. It's a job that pays most of my bills for now. I am afraid to pick up girls there though because I mainly just go there for work and shopping. Most of the girls that come in are not the type that I want to fuck.

My other constraint is that I no longer drink alcohol or participate in other drugs/parties. My life seems a lot happier without these and I am active in Narcotics Anonymous and go to meetings regularly. I am changing my life and getting away from the party lifestyle. I feel much more successful due to this.

With the price of gas, I don't have the option of going into the city all that often. My time is valuable and I do not seem to have the desire to sarge like I used to. Good news, I am making an extra effort to get myself into better physical shape through weight lifting, cardio, nutrition, and other exercise.

How can I find/meet girls with my busy lifestyle? I look forward to your responses.

Thanks,
Chicoman

1) Join an activity
a) Sports
b) Dance
2) Hobby
3) Set a goal for your life

- I understand your busy, yet you still need to form social circles
- Some popular activities include: Karate/Muay-Tai/Ballroom Dancing/Salsa
- A hobby will keep you interesting
- I'm a huge advocate in Inner-Game
- Just find enjoyment in life + the women will follow

_________________
The biggest cock blocker, pants, that's why I don't wear any:D

I think you're on the right track. Get your life straightened out, and do things that make you happy. Get goals and hobbies...things you are passionate about. You don't need girls to make you happy. You can draw happiness from within. You don't need others. Realize you have a lot of value and "Are Enough" and that's all you need. Girls will come.

Many would argue relationships are the most important part of your life. I would agree. I just saw the movie Up In The Air with George Clooney. "Empty your backpack". Cut out the people/material possesions in your life that don't offer positive value (Don't matter). Seek out new social circles, and people who will offer value rather than take it. Realize the value you have. You're a fucking cool guy.

I'll definitely let you know when I'm back in Chico again. I moved at the end of May 10'. Lived in Las Vegas and Thailand for a while, but am back in Kansas finishing up school. Take care...

_________________
"Fear doesn't exist anywhere except in the mind."

Yeah, man, bringing yourself into other social circles besides what you're used to is key when you're in the process of dealing with your addiction, and it's difficult to adapt to situations where you used to be able to call upon that addiction to alleviate fears, find comfort, open with people of like addiction/party aptitude. That's why I think SLWY is soooo right on the money when he suggests hobbies and other ways to get yourself out there into a crowd that's stable. Perhaps clubs oriented around your new healthy lifestyle would be ways to put yourself out there...biking comes to mind, all manner of outdoor activities, etc.

You're probably also having to deal with, or will have to deal with, something akin to performance anxiety...being able to perform is something you may have learned in the past, but now you have to perform outside of your normal addiction mindset, your habitual social circles, and without the crutch mechanisms and excuses you used to give yourself to feed the addiction. Just look at it as starting the process of becoming a PUA all over again...you're re-defining yourself, and therefore your new self is new to the game and faces the same challenges that all us noobs face.

As far as making it into the city, I'd suggest that when you do make it, make sure to try and contact other PUA's and let them know your situation. If you don't get the frequency you used to, then make sure that when you do go, you maximize benefit by being a wing for someone and vice versa. Facing that useless and destructive "I don't belong here without my addiction" nag at the back of your mind will be easier with a kindred spirit alongside, and being/having a wing will keep you honest, focused on the task at hand, and distracted from self-doubt and the call of the old routine.

I'm going to give you some different advice. I understand that at first you may have some resistance to what I'm about to tell you but it really is your best option.

Move to a bigger city.

If your living in a small city there will only be so many women, and ver few groups you can join. If you're not already pretty decent with women, you will blow through a lot of the already small populas of hot women in your city getting good.

Moving to a big city (its not like your loosing some amazing job) is honestly your best bet.

_________________
Never get broken up with again: the-addiction-formula-never-get-broken- ... 88794.html

Ya, I definitely agree that moving to a bigger city will help you out. Change helps you grow. It is like starting new.

Look into finding a job in Chico or Sac. Nothing but positive things have come to me by changing my environment. It helps you grow, and it's easier for you to take on a new identity of who you want to be, which is your best self.

_________________
"Fear doesn't exist anywhere except in the mind."