Hey everyone

New to this PUA stuff so bear with me...still trying to read more about it... but I wish I had read it a few weeks back because there is this girl at my work place who I really want to go out with. The only problem is I went straight in and asked her out and she said no. Since then Ive not spoke to her but recently shes been sending me pointless messages - only problem is when I reply shes not the most talkative so it ends up me talking the most... what is she playing at lol!

How can I tell if she likes me or not and if she does how can I get her without getting rejected again?

Could do with some expert advice please!!

Thanks

VC

Your 'effort', be it the length of your messages, the hoops you jump through to see her, etc., should always be less than hers. What this means for you is when she sends you a message, take longer to respond and write less than her. This will ensure that you avoid demonstrating any "neediness", which absolutely KILLS attraction.

Though, without more details it's very hard to really gauge whether or not she's interested.

_________________
"I want to stand as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all the kinds of things you can't see from the center."

"I'm going to give you a definite... maybe."

Ahh Im afraid I might have failed a bit in that department. Although I do sometimes purposely wait a long time before sending a message back I tend to write quite a lot more as Im generally a lot more 'chatty'. I need to stop sending so many messages back even if I have a lot more to say!!

If I've already done this in the past is it too late to make amends with the same girl. It hasnt been the worst start I haven't gone down on one knee or anything and recently I have played it a lot more like I couldn't give a rats ass but if nothing is going to happen then i'd rather know for sure then carry on with her!!

What other details would you need or can I provide to show more insight into my situation...

bump

VC - In addition to the points Mobrinks made, I recommend (based on methods used by both Ross Jeffries and Love Systems) that you assess the feelings you experience during rejection and learn to surpass them without allowing your playfulness with your target to suffer. Just think of rejection as a freeze frame of where you stand in your pursuit at that particular moment, rather than viewing it as an irreversible brick wall.

I only emphasize this because your sentence about not giving a rats ass almost implies there was a little bitterness from the rejection. If I misread it, my mistake. But nevertheless, I always keep the vibe positive around the target.

And while backing up a tad when rejection hits is helpful (ex: letting go of her hand first when you sense she wants to), you still want to progress forward. 2 steps forward, 1 step back.

Are the two of you on good, friendly terms right now? Have you spoken since she turned down the approach? If so, is there a noticeable difference in how you two communicate now?

Describe where you think you stand.

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"The great question...which I have not been able to answer, despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, is 'What does a woman want?'." - Sigmund Freud 1856-1939

Thanks Jester - sorry its taken so long to reply my internet has been down. We are on friendly terms... have spoken a few times just general chitchat mainly through work messenger and once we went for coffee but its not progressing any further.

I have actually been avoiding eye contact etc when she walks past and pretending like I havent seen her... I dont know why and dont know whether I should stop. Everytime she walks past I make sure that I look like im busy (i dont think she knows I am purposefully avoiding eye contact). Should I make eye contact and smile or something when she walks past?

dont care if she is interested in you yet,..assume she very attracted to you already and act and talk to her in that way,..and you must go out with her(just dont over do it,u may risk to appear a jerk)