Seeking rapport VS fostering rapport?



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PostPosted: Thu Dec 30, 2010 11:56 pm 
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Hello.

Ever seen best friends in deep rapport? What do they do.

They don't ask:
"how do you feel about this"
"so"
"how was that?"


Saying things like this reminds your HB target that you're a stranger trying to get to know her. Rather than you're someone who already knows her.

Think about the first time you first met with your best friend. Did you ask a bunch of questions and say "so" or "how do you feel" like a million times?

OR

Did you just dive into rapport assuming you both knew each other and were long buddies who have not seen each other in a long time.


I noticed this with chicks. When they gossip Jesus christ they get into intense rapport they talk as if they're not trying to get rapport. They don't ask themselves "so how did you get into that" "so, what makes you interested in that?" "so, why did you become a school student" "so, why is it that you loved that mcdonalds so much?"

You see a pattern there? All those statements I made were meant to seek rapport rather than to keep the rapport going. Every time you seek rapport your target is reminded that you're a stranger, which destroys comfort.


What is the fix to all this? Simply talk to a girl about topics as if they were your best friend already or the way you talk to your mom, dad, or siblings in a long 3 hour trip.

I need techniques that foster rapport. I know only pop culture + news.

I use pop culture + news because it helps me get into the HBs mind to talk about people we know already and events we know already. This way we feel like we have so much in common even though all we did was talk about these events we saw in movies and in the news or from people in Disneyland and our government or whatever things that all people know about.

Talking about these common things will get her thinking about you as being just like her and doing the same things she does and the same things she knows.

Every pickup artist I see DOES THIS. They talk to a girl like if they want to get to know things about her, which equals SEEKING RAPPORT. Has anyone tried just fostering rapport and how did that work out for you.


Here is an example of my rapport fostering. Notice that the only times I seek rapport is within 4 or so simple questions in the whole conversation.


Okay this this omegle conversation is with a basement dweller those guys that can't have a conversation for shit. You need to look at the beginning when he was all shy and all he said was "okay" or "lol" then towards the end he starts putting in so much input and sharing his opinions and I did NOT ever ask him what he thought of those movies or how he felt about those movies.
Quote:
Omegle
Talk to strangers!
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
You: hi!
Stranger: hi
You: 19 female california
Stranger: i am looking for indian girl
You: indian girls live in india
You: not in america lol
Stranger: yes i know
You: try to look in india for indian girls or the internet
Stranger: i am indian
You: what age?>
You: are you
Stranger: 22
You: 22 youre allowed to drink :)
You: i cant drink until im 21....
Stranger: yes i drunk already
You: well you do that often?
Stranger: what are you doing here
You: im working
You: on my work
Stranger: ohhhh
Stranger: where
You: right in my house
You: sitting in my computer chari
Stranger: okay
You: this chair is so big and im so tiny :)
Stranger: ha ha
You: but the desk is smaller like me
Stranger: ok
You: you chat alot?
Stranger: yes
You: chatting is simple with texts
You: especially the unlimited packages and such
Stranger: yes baby you are right
You: yeah but even chatting can get a bit naughty some times ya know lol
Stranger: how
You: well i dont know. to know that sort of things alcohol is needed lol
Stranger: you wanna drink
You: youre the drinker so youre the expert at chatting naughty _:)
You: ill take some distilled drinks. the heavy stuff
Stranger: okay
You: beer just has too little alcohol to get the freak out of someone lol
Stranger: yes you are right
Stranger: :)
You: thats why when you buy some alcohol get some wines and vodkas
Stranger: you are very naughty
You: well ive yet to see that cuz i havent drank yet
Stranger: i like wine not vodka
You: besides all this work is making me wanna break some rules right now :)
Stranger: vodka only for girls
You: what are some other girly drinks
You: the other ones are those little cock tails lol
Stranger: so whats your name
You: Jane
You: yours?
Stranger: ajay
Stranger: nice name
You: nice meeting you ajay (shakes hand)
You: thanks
Stranger: >>>>>>
You: Jane is a name from the place I grew up
Stranger: okay
You: its a super common name
You: for the place i live in
Stranger: okay
You: you come accross a lot of ajays? with the same name
Stranger: yes baby
You: lol
Stranger: :)
You: well listen to this
Stranger: what?
You: just yesterday i was readin this paper on this crazed maniac that was in mcdonalnds just went in there and wrecked the place while everyone had their calm nice breakfast
You: people are getting crazier these days
Stranger: why?
You: what sort of mindset makes a person flip out and want to destroy everyones breakfast, some crazy lunatic lol
You: oh and you have not heard everything until you watch those dysney movies, dont even get me started lol
You: what movies you do watch often?
Stranger: each and every kind of
You: horror, action? state your favorite
Stranger: i.e inception, chronicles of narnia, resident evil after life, tron legacy
You: \
Stranger: u can say each n every kind
You: LOL look at leonardo decaprio
You: lets see that guys name was
Stranger: i don't have ny specific state
You: mr... something
You: hmm its on the tip of my tongue
You: ah
Stranger: to whom u r talkin bout
You: its mr sanderson. thats the guys name in the movie Inception
Stranger: k..u lyk inception
Stranger: it was awesome movie
You: damn i cannot belive that mr sanderson would even risk his life going into the dream world
Stranger: yep who made to plan to be more richer than his competetor
You: and get this. not only did mr sanderson risk his life but hes risking his friends lives!! lol...
Stranger: true
You: yeah what is up with that riskin his life just for money..
You: crazy or what? this guy sounds to me like the mcdonalds nut.
Stranger: to make his mind set that there was a dispute between him and his father
You: except hes not in a dream world lol
You: yeah the fathers name i remember his face
You: but not his name
Stranger: thatz true
You: it must be mr sanderson SENIOR
Stranger: ha ha ha
You: then his kids he risked it all going into the 3rd level without even thinking of them..
You: sheesh i would have taught someone how to do it, but no he was too impatient lol
Stranger: that was the most entertaining part
You: yeah it was like a whole 1 hour
You: now that i think about it Inception was such a long movie
Stranger: yep and the girl who went to his dream when he was cruelling with his wife
You: oh yeah that one girl from hmm
You: her name is from that movie Juno LOL
You: shes all pregnant there but flat in Inception hehe
Stranger: i havent remember her name
You: shes Juno lol
Stranger: ok
You: mr sanderson risked her life as well cuz he did not mention all the details to her
Stranger: what abt the last scene
You: oh snap dont even get me started on that lol :)
You: that last scene he was stuck in a dream for sure.
Stranger: do u think that a new series will be come
Stranger: i m waiting for his another part
You: nah no new seriers because the movie is self explanotary
You: hes obviosly been dreaming the whole time in the movie
Stranger: ok
You: think about when hes being chased in real life
You: look at the way he squeezes through bricks. nobody can squeeze through bricks in the reall worldlol
Stranger: but may be we will get a news that a new part is coming
You: oh shoot who announced the news?
Stranger: ya
You: is it the same director or a new one
You: that guy chris nolan
Stranger: so how many times you have seen that movie
You: from the SPAM and the other SPAM movie
You: i saw inception like 3 times lol
You: once at the theater, which i love going to.
You: the 2 later times on a blu day disc
Stranger: i have asaked that question because u know each and every one namwe
Stranger: i haev seen that movie only one time
Stranger: in theater
You: oh yeah normally i dont like studying but inception is smoething worth it
You: yeah usually i only watch movies once in the theater, except for titanic.. lol
Stranger: now i have buy his dvds as it is avilable in market
You: blurays are available 2
Stranger: but i havent get that enough time to see that movie again
Stranger: ya
You: well 3 hours of the same thing isnt very much motivation lol
Stranger: but they are really very expensive
You: if it were 3 hours of something new then am all go for a new watch
Stranger: ya u r right dear
You: some blu rays range from like 10-15 dollars on holidays or weekends
Stranger: have u seen a faster
You: if its worth it then im all for buying the bly ray
You: Faster with the rock?
Stranger: ay
Stranger: ya
You: YES! :)
Stranger: so hows taht
You: i cannot belive dwyane is some psycho in that movie lol
You: then he goes after that rookie serial killer like nothing lol
You: oh you still have not watched it?
Stranger: hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Stranger: i haev seen that
You: XD you should have said that! :)
You: i was this close to bursting the end for you
You: lol
Stranger: have u seen narnia
You: heck yeah! who can forget that naughty tiger lol
Stranger: ya
Stranger: i ahev seen all three parts
Stranger: narnia
You: that is one heck of a well groomed tiger. in the national geographic movies all these tigers are nasty and not well groomed
Stranger: narnia and the prince caspian
You: yup!
Stranger: and the third one
You: but i wonder why the introduced those elf looking guys
Stranger: but i dont like onme think in thae last movie
You: isnt the 3rd one gonna be released in 2011?
Stranger: here in india
Stranger: its already released
You: jesus! thats quick
Stranger: ya
You: i wonder why they do that. release some movies faster that in other places
Stranger: do u want to listion the story
You: its got to be something with the say they produced the movie
You: shoot for it :)
Stranger: but personary this time i dont like that movie too much
Stranger: that was not like the another narnia movie
You: they went overboard with some characters
Stranger: ya
Stranger: u r right
You: the other narnias are like an adventure
Stranger: ya
Stranger: u hev a good knowldge
You: but this one theyre just escaping and the whole movie is just a big rush
Stranger: u r keen to watch movie
Stranger: as i m
You: oh yeah movies are so great for passing time
Stranger is typing...

You noticed this type of rapport? We both knew about the characters and events. We felt like we were very similar in the way we thought. Not once was rapport broken. The only problem I have with this is that I was doing most of the talking since this guy was some shy fucker living in his basement.


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 11, 2011 11:50 pm 
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Ok, if there's a girl here that can help us, she deserves a little help too.

This is actually a good idea, it just needs to be adapted to men, because it's a bit girlish (I don't know if I'm saying right).

I think you do'nt need much more, you're doing fine, just remember to tell some funny stories that happen to you.


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 12, 2011 3:18 am 
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Quote:
Ok, if there's a girl here that can help us, she deserves a little help too.

This is actually a good idea, it just needs to be adapted to men, because it's a bit girlish (I don't know if I'm saying right).

I think you do'nt need much more, you're doing fine, just remember to tell some funny stories that happen to you.
YES you will bore a girl with this type of rapport. remember that you should only use it once she knows youre a fun guy and MAKE sure she knows about the topics you're doing rapport with. and only use it for a short time to build some comfort in that youre not a fucking serial killer and you do normal shit lol.


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 12, 2011 12:54 pm 
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Yeah, we're creepy when we come to a girl with all these magic tricks and games and stuff, there must be some part of their brain thinking "Does this completely funny, smart, confident, different from any other guy here wanna hurt me?" Ahah


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 12, 2011 1:52 pm 
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I understand where you are coming from between fostering rapport and seeking rapport.

I could pick up so many mistakes about the conversations from both parties,

If you are a women, you showed too much interest in the begining.
When he said he was Indian you sparked the conversation back by asking how old he is, usually when I know a girl is interested I show disinterest until I know she has gone cold and once she is cold I spark the conversation back. From the conversation the guy doesnt seem to be interested in you imo later in the conversation he was alot more open because of how much interest you have given him. +1 for the smooth transitions of the conversation
Quote:
basement dweller
You are right about the above statement, the guy clearly has no game what so ever, to me the conversation is a casual conversation with no game what so ever.

viewtopic.php?t=80819
Check it out, any feedback is good

_________________
Three Types of Players:
1) Those who doesn't know whats happening
2) Those who watch what happens
3) Those who make it happen


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 12, 2011 2:32 pm 
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This guy is shy and has low conversationals skills. She did it right by showing interest in chatting with him, cause in a real life situation, she would never take anything from this guy if she didn't push it. And he was interesting, or else he would just leave the chat and iniciate another one. He just don't know how to talk with a girl.

Girls are more efficient in reading body language, tone of voice, etc. So, in a real situation, she would notice if he was shy or if he was interested at all


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 13, 2011 5:57 am 
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Shoot you're right there is no game in my convo. Just boring question after question and statement after statement.

I noticed yours and saw all the tension you built.

YEAH that's my problem I give people too much interest out of fear of not saying enough in the conversation.
Quote:
"When he said he was Indian you sparked the conversation back by asking how old he is"
I don't understand what you mean by sparking. Does sparking mean showing interest? If yes what are some ways to avoid showing interest? Just making observations, connections through statements? or the push-pull


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 13, 2011 11:46 am 
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Quote:
I don't understand what you mean by sparking. Does sparking mean showing interest?
For me sparking a conversation is initiating the conversation, in some what showing interest
Quote:
If yes what are some ways to avoid showing interest?
by showing disinterest with your target :)

_________________
Three Types of Players:
1) Those who doesn't know whats happening
2) Those who watch what happens
3) Those who make it happen


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 13, 2011 1:50 pm 
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alright, you think that there's something we can take of this stratagie for our benefit?

(If you are english or american, I ask you to correct my mystakes, cause I don't have classes for two years)


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 13, 2011 7:33 pm 
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@Forest in the conversation are you pretending to be a women or are you a women?

_________________
Three Types of Players:
1) Those who doesn't know whats happening
2) Those who watch what happens
3) Those who make it happen


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 13, 2011 8:36 pm 
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Got it


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PostPosted: Sat Jan 15, 2011 8:59 am 
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Here is an FR real and an example to show you this method.

Seeking rapport method: as we know is the weird and wrong way, because you break the rapport the other person was in.



Assuming rapport: the correct way to engage in rapport. Pretending as if you were already talking with them and were the 3rd person in their group.
hb1:fetuses are the ones in the womb
hb2: they are also going to be on test #1 this upcoming week
me: the book diagrams are going to be in test #1
Code:
hb1+hb2 mind = ok he's contributing to the conversation the way we are. so he must be one of us aka the 3rd person of the group.
hb2: what diagrams
me: the diagrams in pages 2 and 3
hb1: ive seen those diagrams and i dont think theyll be in test #1

after the HB1 says that i can continue talking because in their mind im the 3rd person in the group.








SEEKING rapport example of above in an alternate reality.
hb1:fetuses are the ones in the womb
hb2: they are also going to be on test #1 this upcoming week
me: can i tell you something about that test?
Code:
hb1+hb2 minds = who the fuck is this guy and why is he asking us shit? and of course their body language projecting confused face
hb1:umm what?
me: the test #1 you were talking about will include the diagrams from the book
Code:
hb1+hb2 minds = ok he told us what he had to tell us now me and HB can continue our rapport. body language they turn away from me.
hb2: thanks, but i dont think they will be in the book











Quote:
alright, you think that there's something we can take of this stratagie for our benefit?

Yeah you can use this to sneak yourself into groups of girls then isolate your target and begin gaming. Rather than cutting off their entire rapport and they see you as the guy who is "up to something".
Again you don't need to use this 100% of the time on your approaches, but do know that it is available and when you can engage their rapport you can sneak yourself in much easier. Remember once you're in you can control the rapport within like 30 seconds.









Here is a good example you've probably seen everyone do. at a store or some shit.

hb:what is that insurance
clerk:its suppose to protect you from burglary in your house
hb: ive never had one of those
Code:
then you assume rapport: you become the 3rd person in the interaction like if you were the hb's friend and you were both shopping for insurance and not the stranger.
you: the burglaries always happen when you least expect them
clerk:they cover any burglary for up to 200 dollars
hb:i dont know if i should buy it
you: the insurance eliminates that type of doubt in terms of safety
Code:
you can start controlling the rapport here and ask her to wait while you pay your shit at the cashier.
example #2 the bad way to engage this.
hb:what is that insurance
clerk:its suppose to protect you from burglary in your house
hb: ive never had one of those
you: do you want to know something about insurance?
Code:
hb mind = who the fuck is this guy and why is he asking me shit? and of course her body language projecting that same stupid confused face that 90% of girls who think its creepy to talk to strangers is displayed
hb:umm what?
you: burglaries always happen when you least expect them.
Code:
even the clerk gets weirded out, why is this fucker asking people if he can help them with what is suppose to be my job





Quote:
@Forest in the conversation are you pretending to be a women or are you a women?
unfortunately for all guys I'm pretending to be a chick.


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 18, 2011 4:52 am 
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Quote:
unfortunately for all guys I'm pretending to be a chick.
You played that very well

_________________
Three Types of Players:
1) Those who doesn't know whats happening
2) Those who watch what happens
3) Those who make it happen


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