bumped into a girl who works in my office block when out in town partying, she's put herself on my radar lately via FB chat so we chatted when we saw each other in the bar, I bounced her to another bar, then a later club, I had no problem getting her into a cab back to mine, in the cab she leapt on me and started kissing me but said my ex/her friend could never know

back at mine it was game on, we kissed and I escalated, in bed she was saying it was wrong but felt so right etc... in the morning she was conflicted due to my ex being her friend (wasn't that serious either) but still said hit me up for my number on FB, she later sms'd me straight away.

every day all last week she hit me up on FB chat for an hour at least, thursday was 4 hours through the day, she said it can't happen again because of the ex issue, yet she almost agreed a day to come round etc. her sms's are quite large and she's responsive, basically her action say I'm up for it, her words say no

she's talked about that night a couple of times, says she hasn't been kissed or connected like she has with me for a LONG time, she says she's intrigued about me, we ended up in the lift last week as she works in my office block (different floor so I rare see her) and she said she could sense our minds moving the same way but didn't know what to do, I was still really hungover so just chilled back, but clearly she was thinking about kissing etc..

she's been busy over the weekend and I was away so i sms'd sunday to catch up, she replied big asking questions, I replied, she didn't, I haven't been in touch since, she's been offline since sunday as working away, she's just come back, I'm planning on being a bit distant as we've built attraction, rapport, comfort etc. it's just this damn friend/ex issue coming up, so I'm stumped how to get around that, clearly she needs to feel there's more benefit to seeing me again than not, only way forward is to chase her so I must back off really or I've already lost.. or am I reading it wrong here? ideas guys, she's a keeper, very high quality and yes I'm still into others but she is the real deal so I'd like to move this forward some

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if you do what you've always done, you'll get what you always got.

No girl is the real deal after you just barley know her. Maybe I am wrong and you have known her for years, but I doubt it. You are jumping to conclusions because you WANT her to be the real deal. The fucking very thing you have been searching for, and your mentality is twisting reality. It's probably freaking her out. So maybe you should just STOP altogether and go take a hike. Think about some things and come back when your head is clear.

Good Luck. And again I could be wrong, but it happens a lot. A huge problem is over thinking.

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Walk Hard

valid point, which is why I said I'm still into other girls, I'm not on a oneitis mission here (been there in the past, know the signs lol) I say she's the real deal as basically I've seen her around for about a year in y office block, everyone who I know who knows her has nothing but nice things to say about her, she's stunning yet not a bitch how we know hot chicks can be!! .. her last boyfriend (who's now loved up with someone else is still a really close friend) was for like 4 years, she's taken a year out, I'm the first guy in a year she's even kissed, she made her choice not to date for a while and my ex told me about this too, even other guys (one with some pick up skills) who know her in the city where I go out said she's a quality girl and he's known her like 7 years!.

I say real deal/quality girl as she's 28, mentally stable and has the qualities that I'm seeing and like, intelligence, great sense of humour, zest for life, playful mentality, close family ties, adventurous, loves to travel, very articulate, higly motivated in her job, has hobbies and interests, reads self development as well as fiction, has morals and integrity (although when she's had a drink and I hit her up they went after about 5 hours of steady game) but in the morning she was very conflicted about her friend/my ex

she hit me up via SMS today a few times, I'd not been in touch since sunday, I kept tempo, joked, teased, busted her, complimented and then as I'm not going to just entertain her at her whim so rather than carry on doing this.. I finished with telling her she needs to behave (after winning a hard challenge I set her) as she's smart too, which is a real turn on and not helping the "we shouldn't" case ... or else I wont be responsible for my actions when she's around me.. (figured it set sexual frame and that Im not going to be just an entertainer!? I'm willing for her to walk away than waste my time at this point!!) she hit me up on FB chat asking if she was safe, told her to lie to me that she cheated on the challenge and she'd be safe, she wouldn't lie, I told her to make sure she was wanting to ride this ride and she couldn't handle it (she's a challenge girl lol) she laughed and told me to up my game, then said she was joking and I'd already spun her enough

She's attracted, comfortable, intrigued and defo interested, but I still feel this ex issue is going to rear it's head at every attempt to hook up.. so thoughts!? on the way forward, do I keep pulling the "behave, we shouldn't" frame up first before she can, or just ignore that and build even deeper comfort!? ... or just back off and let her get in touch with me like she did today!? .. or something else

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if you do what you've always done, you'll get what you always got.

The most important thing to realize is that she is making excuses. People don't make excuses for things they want to do. For example I never would sleep with a married women. But my spanish teacher is sooo hot, and so smart, and so nice, a her ass OMG it is bomb! I think i would make an exception for her. I think you should be an exceptional man for this girl. Make her break her code of ethics for you. Listen below for the mindset on how to do that.

It sounds like she likes you a lot. Just hang in here. Don't let your emotions control you. I used to imagine what girls would be thinking, and that fucked me up a million times. You seem like you are heading down that direction. Just because she has all those qualities doesn't mean she is the person you imagine her to be. Remember she isn't a list of check boxes. She is a flawed human being that you need to date and learn about before you should imagine her being there for you. Don't lust for her or your mind will make believe that she is vulerable for you, and you will develope a connection that she doesn't feel in return. You seem like you have a good head on your shoulders and this girl seems to like you. Try to be cool. She is testing you. You have to stay strong and cool. Really control how much you think about her. Don't let your imagination run wild. Treat you imagination like a wild beast, and tame it when it starts to fantasize about her. Hopefully that will keep you from losing your cool. The reason why I keep harping on you losing your cool is because I have seen these signs before, with me and other guys. They seem to come here first looking for advice because they feel like they are helpless. They feel like they must act or they will lose the girl forever. I say fuck it. Don't worry about it, and let the universe unfold the way it does. The harder you try the more reserved she is going to be. So play a game of cat and mouse. Tease her, then pull away.

When she told you, you had "already spun her enough" She is telling you that you are in, and you don't have to play anymore games. Which of course is 100% wrong, but at the same time it is a hint that you are coming on too strong. So try to relax, and trust the universe to bring you what you need. The worst thing you could do is imagine her caring for you. Don't do that. Treat everything she says as a plot to inflitrate your cool and bring down your composure. She is out to test your structure and to figure you out.

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Walk Hard