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Greetings Adam. Good to know you're still gracing us with your knowledge.
I just screwed up with this girl. I won't lie, I'm hurt. I'm pondering how/if I should LJBF her considering the only way I can contact her now is through sms and Facebook, although she might not respond.
But looking back at our interaction I noticed that she responded well to disqualifiers and negs, which made her qualify and DHV herself. Throughout that whole time, she was into me and I kino'd her to the point where I was pretty much fondling her butt, but I didn't go further because I really wasn't interested in her and only began consciously gaming her in the last few weeks out of the five months I've known her in college (I'm graduating next week). It was really thanks to following your formula I suppose. Only just last weekend, I had been smsing her non-stop for 3 days as she was keen to talk to me. Now she's hardly replying and maybe even stopped.
I seem to be stuck. I didn't kiss her even though I thought things were going well before because I thought I had to show interest after qualification. Where things got bad was when I "rewarded" her with SOIs after she qualified herself. Apparently this pushed her away and now she's not attracted to me anymore. I've pinpointed my SOIs to be the start of my problems so I'm seriously considering not using SOIs anymore as it verbalised my attraction and caused me to get invested and act AFC when she did not react.
What struck me is that before verbalising how "impressed" I was, I was able to kino escalate her to the point where she didn't mind me touching her on her back, legs, butt and face because I'm assuming she did not think I was interested. I'm convinced I could've kissed her. But after smsing something like "Wow I like mature people. They're easy to talk to" when I qualified her based on maturity, she reacted negatively by not replying. And this was repeated.
So should I have discarded SOIs and rewarded her with escalating kino instead? Would it have led to a kiss and more? Should I LJBF her now?
She's not a knockout but she definitely rates as a 7.5-8 for me and whenever she posts updates on her facebook status, about 5-10 AFCs will leave comments immediately. She's also has a non-caring attitude which I guess counts as a hot girl mentality which means she acts differently from other girls so I'm not sure if what happened here is applicable to all my interactions. I'm led to believe that my negging + other qualities was what attracted her, but after I verbalised interest, she categorised me under "Friend".
Thanks Adam. I hope you find the time for this.
Hey kentheman,
Firstly, congrats on graduating uni!
I am a big fan of SOIs but I think that they have a certain place for when to be used. If not used properly they can backfire as they are showing too much interest, which is what seems has happened in this situation.
It sounds like the kino and escalation throughout it went well. You should then use an SOI to assess where you are in the interaction but don't use it as a tool throughout your game. For example, if you're bantering, the kino is up and things seem like they're going well you can say “You know what... You're fun and I like you.” That is a clear Statement of Interest HOWEVER it doesn't make you too needy. Then based on her reaction you can see where to take it. If she gives a giggle and a smile and says she likes you too, then keep gaming and escalating If she pulls back a bit then you're not as far along in the interaction as you think you might be, in which case you should also pull back and try to build it back up again.
SOIs can be tricky but they are powerful once you get them down. Good luck bro!