How to be the attractive jerk – Madals – Living Attractions.


Women often say they go for the bad boy’s or the jerks. But I realised, after talking to a HB I was gaming, that I am that unique type of jerk, that makes girls far more attracted to me than they want to be, than they think they should be.

I will explain this in the way of a story, how a HB explained how she felt about me as she told me each step. I met her staying with about 20 other people for a week (only 5 guys).

At first, she said I was a jerk, one of the few guys who knew how to turn women on (sexually) and attract them. She said I was a flirt and got all the girls going with my body language, social proof, confidence and the way people looked to me as the leader.

Then after talking some more, she said I was more rare and dangerous than the classic jerk. She said most jerks are mucho tough guys who act confident and are social, but I was a jerk who was disguised behind charm, good manners and intellect. By this point she was really into me, she said she noticed it straight away along with the other girls (they were all talking about me in their rooms), but they couldn’t put a finger on what it was. She said the way I had great fashion sense, was polite but still a jerk underneath was very hot just drew women to me.

However, it was the last layer to my personality that really attracted her deeply to me, she said the “charming and polite jerk” was what every woman picked up on and was attracted to, but as she got to know me, she said something that really is the last straw in getting a woman hooked on you. She said, “You’re a jerk, who isn’t an asshole because of your charm, manners and intellect. That is what makes women so hot for you; you are the best of both worlds. But the thing is, you have like 3 layers. On the surface is the polite, good looking charmer, and then under that you have the jerk but what really turns me on, is that under that jerk, is a guy who is actually quite sweet”.

This is the key to the nice guy vs asshole debate. Women want a man that can be taken to a posh restaurant or dance and will walk the walk and talk the talk, the man who is charming, smart and polite (top layer).

But under that they want a jerk, a confident guy who will go after what he wants with a passion and does the “alpha” stuff, which can show through the top layer, but should be slightly mysterious. This is the middle layer.

Now the top and middle layer of my personality will be noticed by 90% of women, they will get turned on by it from the word go. They will just pick up on it very quickly and not know why they are finding me more attractive than they think they should. However, it’s the deep layer that takes that desire and turns it into something irresistible. This deep layer is the “sweet” side of the man, the protective and passionate side.

For me, the sweet side was how I explained to her about my cousin who I treat like a little sister and how I protect her in a non-controlling way and also how I mentioned how beautiful I find the night sky and stars. This is the deep layer.

Now, if you are unsure of what the top, middle and deep layer are go back to the start and re-read or the last bit of this post won’t make sense.

Right, assuming you do understand what each layer is what about when to show it. When you first meet, the top layer should be most on show with the middle layer visible but not over powering. Adapt the balance between them depending on the location etc (more top layer in day game, more middle layer in bars). The deep layer doesn’t have a specific time to show, it could be after an hour or so or maybe after a few dates, it’s how SHE feels about you that is important. If you show the deep layer before her desire for you is sufficient, it will come off as nice guy LJBF and weird. If you don’t show the deep layer soon enough her desire for you will climax and you will miss the point to make her attraction to you more permanent. I have found from analysing myself, I show my deep layer just before her desire for me is at its most intense. This almost anchors (NLP) anything sweet I do her intense attraction to me. Along with the top and middle layer making her hot, this deep layer is now also making her hot for me long term.

Feedback would be appreciated, this is my natural self I don’t think about acting this way, it just happens. I didn’t realise I was like this until this HB explained and I analysed myself.

If you guys have seen this, done this or try this, let me know how it went for you. Like I said, I just do it and I get fantastic results and am curious if others can “learn” to do it.

Madals

Interesting read. As much as the debate between nice guys and assholes goes, they want best of both don't they! (Selifsh ) Seems throwing in being sweet just tops it all off!

It is definately "learnable" as such, you just control the way you act until it becomes natural, like yourself.

I'll definately give it a "go" and tell you how it goes

Hope some more thoughts on this pop into your head

Well, I will probably mull it over with the other Living Attraction people and see if we can get it written up better, explained in more detail and generally improved. Analysing yourself is incredibly hard, because it isn't out of the normal, remembering the small details is really hard!
I am trying to build up some more thoughts on it though, and lets see where it goes

This makes alot of fucking sense!!!! This post has helped me understand myself better. I am naturally this way but I dont have the same display of layers at 'the right time'as you have described.

I have that friendly jerk (c&f) layer that is most evident but it mixes with the top layer. So say I say somethinig which is C&F and jerk like and then pull the chair for her to sit. Than I would be like, I dont have time for you now and then before hanging up the phone ask her how her mom or her dad is doing.

My layers interblend with each other. And I can tell when I'm getting close to the LJBF zone and then I tone up the middle layer a little more.

I think you make perfect sense in your post. That is actually I guess most nice guys who arent push overs, confident go-getters are like. Its natural to be this way for some of us.

But Idont agree with your day & night game philosophy. Or I guess I dont understand that could you kindly explain that and its benefits a little more.

my thoughts:

It's all about staying centered in your own reality. Rewarding people who act according to that reality, punishing people that don't.

I am from England and the way I balance top and middle layer at day and night differer by preference.
Generally, I have more top layer in day game because people react well to a less direct approach and expect people to be nice during the day. Think in fightclub where they are told to start a fight with a stranger. In the day time, people don't respond well to cockyness and middle layer jerk, they respond well to polite, charming, intelligent people.
So during the day, its like 70% top layer, 25% middle and 5% deep.

At night however, people and women I find respond better to more direct approaches (they are there to be picked up) so being more cocky and middle layer works well. So then its more like 65% middle, 34% top and 1% deep.

Does that make more sense?

Ok, let me try this for the next 2 weeks. On purpose I'll try both the 'approaches' and see the results. I'll let you know how its going. And yes it makes sense, I see where you are coming from.

I don't really buy into the idea of nice guys and jerks, and I still don't.

Mianly becuase they are often just extremist stereotypes and not really true to life. I personally do not see the need for being a jerk at all.

I had this theory written somewhere, holding back for a rainy day, but my comp crashed :(:(

Put simply nice guys are often not actually nice, in fact more often than not they are just jerks who don't have the will to act out how they feel.

Nice guy and attractiveness. They are not miles away from eachother in fact they are far closer than most people think.

The usual nice guy misonception stems from the outer layer of nice guys. The guy who will buy you flowers; which covers up for what a nice guy actually is.... a creepy guy buying you flowers so you will go out on a date with him.

Most nice guys are just being nice in order to achieve their own selfish goals.

Truly alturistic actions, which are not consiencely motivated such as tipping a waiter who gave good service are respected by women.

Literary Erotica is packed with "prince charming good guys".

The actual premise of a nice guy, someone who does nice things, likes being positive, is a VERY attractive premise. It's just often taken up by people who are trying to manipulate it, rather than those who actually fit the bill.

You've tapped onto something, understanding the inherint attractiveness of being a good guy, but it needs refining, I would refine it by dropping the usual refrences to jerks and nice guys, and the associations that you may currently have with them.

But you may want to take it another way (Y)

Good to hear

Remembering most things is hard

P.s Fin or Madals? Who'll win the Living Attractions fight? I jokes

Unfortunately we aren't actually fighting, we are both saying very similar things, we just have different ways of explaining things and teaching - they compliment each other though so it all works well

Absolutely agree with whats being said above. I don't like being 'nice', instead its far better to be 'decent' imo. Also its true that 'nice guys' are creepy, if they act needy, all they're saying is "I want to fuck you therefore I'm going to act like a manipulative cunt and bribe you into bed", so little wonder women react negatively.

My money was on Fin anyways