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Again, you have not read my post. I did not say he is top dog did I? I said he's an AMOG. He doesn't have any advantage that I don't. He can't outnumber me because I also have a high social ground. He makes people uncomfortable all the time making him lose respect in groups more then half the time.
We're just going to have to play the out alpha game. It will always be a rivalry as the way I see it. He will always see me as a threat. With these type of people, I don't need them in my life. I will confront him if he ever tries to call me out but I will not confront him if there isn't a called for situation so in other words confrontation will only work if I am confronted. This means that my only option at the moment is to shut him out until I am confronted myself. Tigazero's advice is much better. Confrontation only works if he starts something and how I react will dictate whether or not I have strong frame.
1. I have, and closer than you think, you've said he has better frame than you, that he already knows the members of the group better than you do.
Unless thier is a third male in this story, he's won the alpha battle, your need and want to have a shut hm out shut him up game plan implies you are fighting for alpha stauts, which again implies that you do not HAVE alpha status.
2. It doesn't really matter how uncomfortable he makes others feel his frame is stronger, his bond is closer. You will have to wait before his negative mindset pulls the group away from him and you will have to wait a much longer time.
3. Have you considered the fact that the reason you like Tigazero's advice is that it is incredibly similar to the thoughts that you held origonally?
4. I don't mean to seem patronising but I'm going to lay down the theory of block em up shoot em down theory on amogging.
AMOG enters set.
*insert generic amog line*
Amog now feels uncomfortable at being mocked and laughed at, he feels that the set is against him and his chances of success are slim.
Amog now feeling humiliated leaves set.
The key point here is he doesn't feel he can win the set and that he cannot gain anythingas the group think he is a loser.
"Smoking"
This is essentially ignoring the threat until he/she/it gives up.
You enter set, AMOG gives snarky comment about your shirt, he's obviously being a douche becuase he feels threatened.
You ignore him and continue talking regardless.
He makes another comment this time about how your fly is undone.
Still feling comfortable you sail through and do not react.
At this stage the amog realises that his comments are having little to no effect and gives up his aggressive stance and becomes friendly but more often passive aggressive.
Again this works on discouraging the apha and lowering his self esteem to the point where he doesn't feel confident.
Both of these are SHORT TERM SOLOUTIONS; if it is a social group in which you will be meeting again and again in which you are by pure logistics forced to aknowledge each-others presence and interact.
You have then two options find a long term soloution to the problem, or let havoc ensue.
Seeing as you are both in the social group, you will not be able to ignore him, so you either get around the problem or you get into more bitching matches until one of you leaves and so far it looks like he is not going to back down.
Simply put the fact he acts like a dick doesn't make him any less alpha, it's the same with the "nice guy" yeah he's nice but frankly that doesn't matter.
You don't seem to have changed your course of action since the arguments broke out in the first place, looking at that, doesn't that make you feel..... ....a little "blind".
Just comunicate.... I know you don't want to hear this advice, and it's quite clear from the wordings in your posts that orgigonally you had no intention of talking to him rationally you were looking for some "put downs".
If you just talk then you have a chance of sorting this out, if not you can say you tried and it will make winning a potential AMOG war 50X easier.
Ask him in the next 2 days "hey we seem to be getting a bit heated, whats with all the aggression man?"
If it doesn't work you have my permisssion to play to the crowds, amog and ignore him all you want. Becuase once the talking is over all out amog battles are the last option and thats how they should be kept, a LAST option.
Do it. 2 days. One sentance.
Can you handle it?
CHAT
