I ve been in the friendzone with this coworker for 2 years now. initially she came on to me but i screwed it up and wound up chasing her. I wound up dating somebody else mostly to help build a jealously plotline she was dating somebody else too. She just recently broke up with him though and im thinking nows my chance to show her im a changed man but there is kind of a barrier because i can't escalate at work and if I ask her to do something outside of work im the one chasing her again. How do I get her to chase me? Because I know there is atleast a part of her that wants to.

In terms of the "can't ask her to anything outside of work" being chasing. It's not necessarily, it depends on HOW you do it.

If you're making plans with her so that YOU can be with HER, that's chasing.

If you already have plans with other people and you invite HER to be with YOU, that's not chasing.

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Every Saint has a Past, Every Sinner has a Future

That's actually a good idea I never would have thought of. Recently iv'e been trying to talk to every single person I can at work just to buld my social skills. I talk to ugly chicks, hot chicks, goofy dudes, cool dudes it doesn't matter anytime she is wathing me im involved in a conversation with somebody and I just try to actively listen. Every time she walks by I kind of hesitate out of instinct she might want to pull herself in to the conversation. But the main reason I do it is to DHV that i am the alpha male of the workplace and all relationships run through me there. It seems to have sparked a little interest in her. Through this I have made some relationships that I could use, easier to ask someone out that I haven't screwed the pooch with yet. and yet ask her to tag along hoping that they feel some comfort because neither one really knows which one is the target. THe biggest problem for me is the original target always assumes that every move I make is an attempt to get in her pants and I guess righlty so. Thanks for the advice. Shopping with both a good idea?

Id also like to explain one part of it and get your take. While she was still worth her ex we would always talk about our relationships and she would always talk shit about him, about how he was a broke ass and couldn't even take her out to lunch once a week. Then I would talk about my relationship and throw both good and bad qualities about my girl in. When I would tell her stories that made me look good she would throw what i considered a shit test at the time she said well if u were like that u could be my boyfriend, this was with another girl present sitting together at a lunch break. Now its a little different cause she is single but knowing her probably not for long any advice how to handle a shit test like that or is even a shit test?

the original target always assumes that every move I make is an attempt to get in her pants and I guess righlty so.

My friend, ALL women think this way, she is no different.

You are in the Friend Zone, an emotional tampon as they say in the PUA community. If you want any chance at landing this girl, do the exact opposite of everything you have done up to this point. In other words, develop a cold, 'I'm not interested in hearing about your problems' attitude and watch how quickly things change in your favor.

You don't have to be a d*ck 100% percent of the time, just enough to get her attention. Once you have her attention, THEN you can use her insecurities to get the results you want.

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Keep people off-balance and in the dark by never revealing the purpose behind your actions. - Robert Greene

in my own opinion, I never seduce co-workers.... A wise man once told me " never mix pleasure with business..."