Help for a date from internet dating



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PostPosted: Mon Feb 16, 2009 11:54 pm 
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I've got a date with a HB8 that I got emailing through match.com.

We've sent each other about 5 emails each, and in that time I've said stuff that's got her amused and she's said she likes my emails.

So for the date I have a couple of things to ask, firstly, I guess because we know what we both look like and what's been exchanged, I guess there has been some attraction built. Will I mostly be aiming for comfort building on the date? I know I should definitely kino and hold eye contact. I've been rubbish at this in the past.

Secondly, she's bound to ask me about my work. Recently I got fired, however I've lodged my appeal and I could possibly get my job back at the end of the month or get my lawyers involved. It could get drawn out and the reason for being fired is a bit silly all round. Should I brush over it all by just saying I left for new opportunities? Or just say I got fired and I can't say much because of potential legal action? Any other ideas?
So far I've only mentioned the kind of industry I'm involved in and my degree.

Thanks guys in advance.


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 17, 2009 12:39 am 
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Quote:
I've got a date with a HB8 that I got emailing through match.com.

We've sent each other about 5 emails each, and in that time I've said stuff that's got her amused and she's said she likes my emails.

So for the date I have a couple of things to ask, firstly, I guess because we know what we both look like and what's been exchanged, I guess there has been some attraction built. Will I mostly be aiming for comfort building on the date? I know I should definitely kino and hold eye contact. I've been rubbish at this in the past.

Secondly, she's bound to ask me about my work. Recently I got fired, however I've lodged my appeal and I could possibly get my job back at the end of the month or get my lawyers involved. It could get drawn out and the reason for being fired is a bit silly all round. Should I brush over it all by just saying I left for new opportunities? Or just say I got fired and I can't say much because of potential legal action? Any other ideas?
So far I've only mentioned the kind of industry I'm involved in and my degree.

Thanks guys in advance.
Dang this is a good question I wish it was on my online dating thread. Anyways, I am here to try to help.

You have some attraction or she wouldn't been meeting you in person. Likewise, you have some comfort built as well or she wouldn't be meeting you in person. So I'm not sure what you said in those emails but good job! You got a date which is the point to the Online thing. :D

You really need to work on both attraction and comfort kind of simulatenously. You don't really have enough attraction built just from online to make it last...same with comfort. That is why you are meeting obviously to get to know each other better.

You still need to re-flip the attraction switches and things she likes about you. Not like you would from a cold approach but still emphasize them so she remembers why she likes you. :) Then of course build comfort which shouldn't be too difficult at this point. I agree you need to kino to establish that, and of course eye contact, relaxed body language.

**As far as work goes. I would say "some new opportunities have presented themselves to me, that I might persue." It's a nice way of saying it but whatever it takes in 'avoiding' the direct answer don't lie to the girl. If you do get into it try to come across as positive and not bitter**

Don't ask me why or whatever reason the circumstances coming across as negative will hugely impact you in your date. This falls back on the DHV spike of "Being Unaffected"

Good luck on your date,

Jon

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PostPosted: Wed Feb 18, 2009 3:32 am 
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Thanks JSmooth.
Just to clear up a couple of things; in the past I would go for a kiss on the cheek when greeting and then say sth like "you look great"... is this the right kinda thing to do?
And what should be my overall target for the date - is it to get her back to my place or to make her willing enough for a date no.2? She's already said she can only stay a couple hours max cos she's got a dentist appointment next morning.


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 18, 2009 2:42 pm 
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Thanks JSmooth.
Just to clear up a couple of things; in the past I would go for a kiss on the cheek when greeting and then say sth like "you look great"... is this the right kinda thing to do?

And what should be my overall target for the date - is it to get her back to my place or to make her willing enough for a date no.2? She's already said she can only stay a couple hours max cos she's got a dentist appointment next morning.
There is nothing wrong with doing that. Women enjoy hearing that stuff. :) Sure, it's a statement of interest but then again we're meeting her for a date so now issue with that. If that's your personality then rock it out!

Really anything is possible. You are still dealing with a time constraint. This could be legit or it could be bullshit. Either way because of this the present logistics make your goal a little different.

My goal based on what you told me would be to do a "bounce." Take her from the first location you meet for the date to a second. This establishes more memories of you in a way even though it's the same night. It's a very powerful comfort building tool. Just make sure to have 2-3 places in mind. Don't ask her what she wants to do! Lead the interaction.

After a while just say something like, "I'm really craving some ice cream, I know this great little spot just a few minutes away." Just get her to go to a new location with you. It's easier if you can walk there so you don't have to worry about car logistics.

Good luck on your date,

Jon

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PostPosted: Wed Feb 18, 2009 9:27 pm 
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Aaaarrrggghhhh!

She cancelled on me. She said she saw a guy from same site for the 3rd time on Monday, and that she's got strong feelings for him and to see anyone else would feel like cheating. However, she said my emails made her laugh more than anyone else's.

Needless to say, I'm not having a great year...
Thanks for your help though, it might come in handy in future anyway.
Excuse me while I go listen to The Smiths :cry:


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