So here's the situation:

I met this girl at a bar, closed her, at her place later, said she didnt want to have sex cause she 'liked me' and wanted to make it mean something. So I took her on a date, we hooked up that night, then i saw her the next night, we hooked up again. But I think I might have fucked up and been pushing to see her too often. Now I feel like a tryhard, which i'm usually not, but in this situation theres a good chance i'm being one. How do i distance myself and make her work for me?

I'm totally prepared to throw this away and recognize i f'd up, but if anyone has any tips for DHVs this late in the game, maybe push her down a bit - make me seem uninterested, don't hesitate to share your ideas

-cjak47

So let me make sure I got this straight:

- You met a girl, took her home, and made out with her but didn't have sex.
- You took her out on a date not long after. You "hooked up" (whatever that could be) that night.
- You saw her again the next night, and you hooked up. Now you're worried that you've somehow made yourself too available?

Here is my conclusion:

YOU'RE OVERTHINKING. STOP IT!

Why on Earth do you think there is a problem? Has anything bad actually happened? Damn, you're hooking up; that's what you want!

^The dude has a point.

Another idea is to break things down to their raw basics. She likes you (or liked you) because you offer value to her. What value is that? You're hot and good sex? Probably.

This is great value for a ONS, but for a LTR where the relationship is more than just 'fuck buddy' status, you need to offer a different kind of value for the relationship to be sustainable. Perhaps good conversation, salsa classes, social gatekeeper, business contacts, fun person to be with (without sex & romance), etc.

If you don't offer such value, then you have to only see her once in a while to bang her. Of course I'm painting a black and white picture here and in reality the theory is blurred, but you get the idea.

that is some great advice. thanks for the direction.