She's not contacting me anymore. How to handle unreactivly?



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PostPosted: Wed Jan 14, 2009 8:17 pm 
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Hi guys, I wonder if you have any thoughts on this. I'll make it as short as possible. I know this is soooooo AFC, so enjoy.

Saturday: We have our second date, at her place. We talk for 5 hours, she's constantly playing with her hair.

Sunday: I invite her over but she doesnt read my sms until it's to late.

Monday: She contacts me through IM saying she should had come over as she couldnt fall asleep anyway.
Later in the evening I ask her if she wants to hang out. She says she wants to relax by herself.
Even later Im taking a walk, and send an sms asking her if she wants to join. No she does not.

Tuesday: I contact her first through IM. Telling her I had a nice walk. Bla bla.
The rest of the day is quiet.

Wednesday: Quiet.


I know I've come off incredibly needy. I thought she like me sooooo much that I wouldnt have to be carefull. Wrong.

1. Would you say she's testing me right now?
2. Should I keep my mouth shut until she contacts me or would that be the reactive thing to do?


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 14, 2009 8:53 pm 
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Invite her to a neutral environment, such as a party or social gathering.


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 Post subject: The Five Love Languages
PostPosted: Wed Jan 14, 2009 9:27 pm 
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Gary Chapman wrote the book. He explains how people generally respond to love in five manners.
http://www.fivelovelanguages.com/learn.html

They are:
  • Words of Affirmation - Saying "I love you."
    Quality time - Spending time together
    Gifts - Physucal gifts such as jewelry
    Acts of Service - Cooking, cleaning, etc.
    Physical Touch - From hand holding to sex
Each of us respond to one or more of these and it is how we know we are loved. Also, the way we feel loved is how we express love.

Each of us has a reservouir that wanes through living life and needs to be refilled. Usually, it is doing one of the other languages that drains us and makes us need to restore our love language reserve. When it is empty, we feel unloved. When it is full, we have to stop filling it, similar to how we stop eating when our stomachs are full.

For example, someone might feel loved by physical touch, but they are a janitor, so service does not say love to them, but increases their need for physical touch at the end of the day. Someone else may feel loved when someone does some sort of service for them, but they are a massage therapist, so physical touch is just a job for them.

I said all that to say this. Your GF may feel love through the quality time you had on Saturday. Now that it is full, she does not have the need to be around you for a while.

You'll know she needs quality time when she starts asking to see you. Unless she finds that from someone else.

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 14, 2009 11:55 pm 
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too much txting dude you need to pick up the phone and call her. I think thats your biggest problem. Txting is usefull but can be impersonale


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 15, 2009 3:37 pm 
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We talk for 5 hours, she's constantly playing with her hair.

That's great, but was there any kino, did you work on her IL or flirt, maybe push/pull, c&f? In other words, did you make it fun and exciting? If you can get a girl's IL through the roof, you won't have to chase her (that's what you were doing), she'll come to you.

I agree with ACE, stop with all the texting. You can't properly game a girl via text, or phone for that matter.

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Keep people off-balance and in the dark by never revealing the purpose behind your actions. - Robert Greene


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