Stop Fixing The Symptoms



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PostPosted: Tue Dec 30, 2008 11:57 pm 
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Something like that...

But do not expect it to become easy. Be grateful if it does but dont be disappointed if it doesnt.
TRUE

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PostPosted: Wed Dec 31, 2008 8:02 am 
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I agree with Ezoghoul. I would love to see a forum area for "REALIZATIONS."

These are usually the tiny nuggets of wisdom that seem to punctuate most good Field Reports. And it doesn't have to be something big.

"I realized last night that jealousy really is a powerful motivator for women. blah blah blah..."

--or--

"I realized today that you have to be careful when using negs on girls who are really young (teens) because they haven't become fully aware of their beauty yet, and uncalibrated negs can easily make you look like a jerk."

I think an area like this would help guys starting out (like me) figure some things out from the inside out, as opposed to just fixing symptoms.

Who's with me?!!?!


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 31, 2008 1:00 pm 
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Obviously me... Or maybe just a thread...

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PostPosted: Wed Dec 31, 2008 1:40 pm 
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i'm glad someone posted this. i've noticed it, too, that many of the guys who come on here asking for help really don't need a pua coach, they need a psychologist.
on a forum, however, it's hard to tell the difference. pretty much people have to make their own choices as to whether they get help or not. all we can do is point them in the right direction. hopefully, though, some will learn and get the help that they need.
I realised this the first time I started coaching guys in person. I always thought that it was just the way I was interpretting stuff that guys online said, but it turned out that the people usually were worse in person than online, believe it or not. When I started running full workshops I discovered that most guys have such severe issues that half the time I spend is just helping them change their perception of themselves and the world they live in.

I think that there's really 2 things that good workshops do that the other ones don't do. I've taken some good workshops and listened to some good seminars and read great articles, just like I've experienced some crappy ones and usually the crappy ones are done by the guys with all the big hype and corporations. The unsung heros are guys like Sean, Johnny, Zan, Sinn, Adam, Zip, myself and a whole bunch of other guys that aren't talked about enough because they aren't into marketing schemes and so not enough people know about them, which is why I always mention their names.

So the good things I spoke of. First the best workshops don't just tell you what to do and what to say, they explain why you do an say certain things and give a few examples in order to drive the point across; they help you understand why certain things work and others don't, that way you don't need material, they help you understand what's going on so that you never need to ask for help from people about the situation or anything similar again. The second thing they do is prime you by eradicating misconceptions and limiting beliefs that cause all those issues that people have. The whole point of the way these people teach is geared towards fixing the root of the problem, not the symptom and that's why they're effective coaches.

I honestly don't think that taking workshops is a waste of time because I think a good workshop can help people overcome all the issues they have. I think that a lot of the popular workshops are a waste of time and money because they don't focus on those things that the good ones do and they usually end up causing more issues in people that already have them. I bet it's cheaper and more effective to take a workshop with one of the people I named than it is to see a psychologist about the same issues. I know three ways that I can cure a person's phobia in under an hour, whereas most psychologists will take over 5 to start to make any real impact on it because of the methods they use.

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PostPosted: Wed Dec 31, 2008 4:06 pm 
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I totally agree...I think everyone needs to understand that there is no one line, no one routine, and no one formula that will fix a problem. There is no magical phrase! I will get messages from guys who are talking to a girl on AIM as we speak and he will ask me what to say to her. It is your conversation, if I answer and she responds well, then her attraction isn't growing toward you, it is growing toward me (woahh weird!).

It is understandable to have a question here or there about what to do....we all do. But when you rely on a PUA on this site to fix your problems then you aren't really picking that girl up successfully...Sean is picking her up, Rye is picking her up or whoever gave you the advice. I think it is better to just fail in those cases and learn for yourself so that next time you know what to do.


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 31, 2008 4:52 pm 
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But when you rely on a PUA on this site to fix your problems then you aren't really picking that girl up successfully...Sean is picking her up, Rye is picking her up or whoever gave you the advice. I think it is better to just fail in those cases and learn for yourself so that next time you know what to do.
and remember, if i pick her up, i'm not giving her back. :D

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PostPosted: Wed Dec 31, 2008 4:53 pm 
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I'm currently working on a 25-30 page e-book that is focused on fixing the problems, not the symptoms. I can't express how much I dislike material that contains lines and routines for guys to use because they don't teach you anything unless you take the time to figure out why those things work and let's face it most guys don't. I'm writing it just like I write everything, very in-depth, packed full of as much information as I can fit in and focused on the underlying principles that govern human actions and interactions so that you understand the concepts. Remember, if you can fix your root problems rather than just the symptoms, the symptoms will stop occuring and don't need to be fixed anymore!

Here's a sneak peek of the first chapter I've written all about so-called approach "anxiety". J and I have talked about the negative impacts of PUA terminology and especially AA, so I'm happy to finally write something lengthy up on the subject in order to really explain the issue in detail!

approach-anticipation-excitement-vt35880.html

Let me know what you guys think! :)

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~ Rye


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 02, 2009 12:34 pm 
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Bonita, I know what you are talking about with being given advice. This is why in the rules to my "Ask J.Smooth Thread" I tell guys I'm not going to write out a whole interaction for them. You know as I do when I become their personal writer the problems it will lead to.

Rye, the book sounds good buddy, I'll have to read that chapter in a few!

Hobbit, I perfectly agree that a lot of PUAs do avoid the "norm" so to speak and go off in the own little "lairs" and stuff. It's another problem that is definitely worth pointing out.

HAPPY 2009!

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