For me it would depend on the what level of flirting we were already at leading into this situation. Has she dropped any previous IOI's? Since she caught him cold it sounds like either she came out of left field here or he just wasn't paying attention. Many good comebacks so far, but her coming out cold like that I would have shot back with a neg of some sort.
Quote:
She says, "My spit was on that, we've practically kissed now."
Big fan of the "You wish... Pervert." and move on.
(jokingly): "(pretend to spit food out into napkin unless of course the setting and situation and food involved, allow you to actually spit it out for the most effect, not if it'll create a huge mess and make you look like a pig).... and there goes my appetite... Thanks. Check please." followed by a smile.
"That being said, is there anything in your medical history you'd like to share with me?? Some recurring sores?? Something?"
"Oh my God, do you think I might get pregnant??"
"I take it your parents never really gave you the bird's and the bees talk... You know, at the library, they have some books you might want to check out. Maybe you'll want to start with the ones that have lot's of pictures."
Pause, blank stare for a second, shake head like you're regaining conciousness, refocus and say"Whoa, had a strange flash back to third grade for a second. I'm sorry, you were saying something about wanting to make out with me??" looking confused as to why she would say something like that and like it would be something totally out of the question. Quickly follow up and read her BL, if she's following it you can continue with "The waiter wasn't lieing, you were checking out my butt when I went to the bathroom weren't you??" At this point she may deny doing one or the other, that she wasn't checking out your butt or talking about making out... try and cut her off at just one and before the other and say "so you admit you saying you (wanted to make out with me / were checking out my butt) then?? Anyways, let's just drop it see if you can make it the rest of the lunch without making overt sexual advances at me..." If she denies both, "I don't know about that, awfully suspicious behavior if you ask me. Pervert." My goal being to keep the conversation light and humorous but to convey that these are her thoughts and desires she's projecting to me and she's the aggressor and I'm the piece of meat.
She needs to feel like she's chasing me, not like I've been sitting here waiting to pounce on her at the first sign she's interested. If I'm at the stage where I've already got her chasing then I might drop something to lead her such as
"I dropped some on my lap earlier, just so we have our story straight, how do you plan to explain that?"
"if that's the case, you really don't want to know what I saw the waiter do with your _____."
"Now all we have to do is wait for the waitress to squeeze the lemon in your water and we'll have had a threesome."
In either case, unless she was giving signals for wanting me to close her then and there, with her being in the circle, I would be patient, let it stew and leave the k close for a better time, better place. Only if it were more of a random girl I had only recently met would I immediately head towards the big close.