CHRIST it's been a while since I've heard the term GDI!

When I was a sorority girl in college, I briefly dated the president of another fraternity. He was Republican, (very cute though,) and someone that I probably wouldn't have dated unless he had that social standing of frat guy with an important position.

It's a power thing. Women are drawn to men who have social standing. Fraternities provide social standing. They provide connections for later life. Guys who are in fraternities are tied to something greater than themselves. They do charity work. They have LOTS of friends. Other girls want them. When you date one, it's like you're dating the frat as well. You get to hang out with them, become their little sister...

That kind of power is an aphrodisiac.

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- Zip

Hi Zip.

Coming from a college student:
In your opinion, best/most comfortable way to suggest bringing a girl back to my dorm?

I was thinking something along these lines:
"My room mates just got this new RC race car track, we should go back and race each other! [You can only stay for 15 minutes though I have to wake up early.]"
Or, "I'm starving, I think I'm going to go back to my dorm and get some food? You should come too, you look hungry."
Or, "It's kinda loud in here, we should go somewhere more quite."
Or, "I'm not a fan of public make-outs (after k-close), want to go somewhere more private?"

I know I should false time-constraint when taking a girl in to my place to preserve comfort. Let me know what you think or if you have any better ideas (maybe not lines but a slow-build sort of thing).

Thanks.

this question has a story to go with it..lucky you
so my buddy's gf told me that she wanted to introduce her friend to some guys and that I should go to a little get together she was having.
so i go there and there's this other guy there too who is better looking and a natural. shit..so i tried not to let it phase me, befriended him right off the bat. we headed out to a club with the 5 of us but since cabs only take 4 ppl, we had to split up. me, the natural, and the girl were in one cab and my buddy and his gf in another. now by this time id gotten one or 2 ioi's from this girl but the natural was still in the lead. so we get a call from my friend and he says he has to take his gf hom cause she's passing out so its just the 3 of us at the club. As soon as we were in the door I lead this girl to the dance floor cause I couldn't risk the natural butting in. I went for the k-close a little early with a gimmick thats had a pretty good success rate. shut down. The natural eventually finds us but it turns out this girl just came up to him and was all over him (damn naturals...) so this got the girl a little jelous and this guy's preselection/DHV was on the rise. so to try to 1 up him i told her to point out a girl from me to go hit on and then id point out a guy for her. so she pointed to this girl standing in a 3 set and i used the "do i know u" opener. lame but the the set opened well. after i showed her how "easy" it was for me, i got her to hit on a guy and every once in a while she'd shoot me a playful glance. after we've had our fun, she asks if i want to sit down. now at this point, though she still seemed a little preoccupied with finding the natural, i still felt that i was getting a decent amount of ioi's, we'd been dancing for about 20 min. and kino-wise, i felt we were shifting into comfort. I went for k-close again saying something like "this is the last time i'm going to try this" (i know i know...) I put my fingers under her chin to show her that i wanted her to turn her head but she shook it instead. she didn't break kino though (holding hands and stuff). I told her with a sad puppy dog face that she was really hurting my self-esteem and she laughed and said she didn't beleive me. at this point i realized holy shit i'm really starting to get attracted to this girl. we end up cabing home and i lost a little frame control cause i still felt that even in his absence, the natural was beating me. slept in diff beds. she got up early to go to work. that's my night in a nutshell. u'd be surprised but i could have made it alot longer. ok questions...

1) is it possible for a girl to be thinking about one guy (the natural) while still being interested in another one?

2) when i was shut down twice for the k-close (1st time was because i went in for it too early i think) is this one of those "playing hard to get" things?

3) what do I do now? i barely know who this girl is but i would like to hang out with her again. she's really energetic and alot of fun.

also any comments on how i could have improved would be great thanx

hey there i need a female advice..but i can only stay a second! you see my frien.....oopsy, i guess force of habit
but hey i really do need a female advice...i posted this to AFC Adam as well, so ill just copy paste it here too..here we go:

here's what i wanna know..i met a cutie on a trip, she was with her friends and so was i...i noticed that she was making eye contact and peeking when i "wasnt looking" anw, i teased her alot (cocky funny)..
we talked all the way back, i guess we're at C1..you know, we got to know each other more..anw, she mentioned that she had some problems with her ex..(now she said ex, while her friends said boyfriend..is that a hint from her(?))
she then told me that she was in a fairly long relation with him, but they had a "huge fight" a couple of weeks ago and that they're not "officialy together" but they are still trying to work on it..
now i dont wanna be unethical, and in case something develops i dont wanna be the rebound guy, and on the other hand (there's different fingers:P) i dont wanna get stuck in the friend zone by being there for her all the time...how do i go abt that my friend..?

UnZip this please..

_________________
Whether you think you can, or whether you think you cant, you are right.
H. Ford

sorry, guys, new show in NY. answers coming soon!!!!

_________________
- Zip

hey zip. need some input.

im a metalhead and dress accordingly - jeans, black band shirts and sneakers. any ideas on how i can dress nicely but still keep my rocker image? i dont dress like a goth or whatever and i'm fairly good looking (no long kurt cobain hair or anything) but i feel like im constantly dressing down. the problem is, dressing up doesnt suit my personality. girls seem somewhat shocked when they find out that im a rocker (and in a metal band) because i supposedly look like a jock. any ideas? i was thinking of getting some designer jeans that still look a bit rocker-ish (polo sport seems ok), then some vintage band shirts (like led zeppelin, the clash, acdc, rolling stones etc) some black brogues (or maybe some converse all-star type stuffs?) and then finishing it off with a nice, slim blazer (i'm tall and skinny)

then, the other thing i've been wondering, do girls care what type of music you listen to? i've only ever dated rocker girls so i dont know what the rest of the female population's perception of guys who listen to metal/hard rock/hardcore/punk. should i maybe play down my love for extreme music? im very passionate about music (play drums, guitar and bass) and metal is my first and only love.
any comments or advice?

btw - i think its awesome that you're helping out here in the community.

Okay Zip Im looking for your most detailed opinion as I do value it highly

heres the situation

ive been serious with this girl for a while now at least 6 weeks but we're not in a relationship because shes been hurt in the past and wants time so im giving her space and time, and sat night we went out and she tried to stop herself making out with me to prove she was in control so I took some girl back to mine and well... made out with her on my bed lol, any way apparently she got really jeleous and text me twice etc etc so yeah i pissed her off bad

spoke to her recently and sorted it out although she was really upset and reckons her feelings have changed now ( clearly they havent shes jus saying it) but i said i would take her out to make it up to her, so we went out last night with another couple, she wanted me to pay, but i didnt because frame control and all that.

but one thing is though she wouldnt kiss me at the end of the night, then she text me later sayin " its not that i dont want to but you ent getting away with things that easily im sorry babe dont be in a mood" (she was refering to what happened at the weekend) she got really really jelous about what happened at the weekend and keeps asking me about how i feel about this girl and whats going on and making constant references to this girl. Im going to this party tomorrow night and both are going to be there. She said on msn last night that she doesnt know how she feels anymore, i think shes bluffing personally because i got a lot of ioi's last night (playing with the necklace, looking into my eyes, laughing at my jokes etc etc)

I was in the alpha role last night I took control, the only thing I didnt have control over was what film we went to see.

no we havent had sex yet.

but shes coming over on saturday night, i said we'd cook dinner together and she could wash up (alpha role again)

how would you progress to sex from there? and also once your making out, what step do you do next? and so on?

few things i'd really like to know

your opinion on

-does she like me and is she bluffing?

- she got really jeleous should i play on that?

- what else do you suggest?

- how should i act with her?

- and your general opinion about everything ive just said

- is the dinner thing a good idea and if not what would you suggest?

I want to be in a relationship with this girl.

I know how i want to play this but i really do want a third opinion on this

thanks for you time dont know what i would do without advice from this forum

The "you can only stay or 15 minutes though" is BRILLIANT. Also, "I'm not a fan of public makeouts" is great as well. Playing into how women need to FEEL like they are in control or that the environment is situationally not set up for sex is comfortable.

To slowly build, try something like...

"My roommate and I are trying to make our dorm room a little less bachelor padish. He's got no style, and I've got a few ideas. We definitely need a girl's opinion."

Get a dialogue going. Some funny stories about disgusting guy stuff that's happened in there (skip the parts where you look slutty.)

"We definitely need a girl's opinion... we're at a standstill. My mom is coming to visit soon, and I want to surprise her."

She could offer, or if she doesn't...

"Do you know any girls who are good at this stuff? I tried to google fung shway (spelling ?) and got completely bored."

"Well, I don't know if you're the right person. We'd need to have an interview"

The next couple of times, conduct it like a job interview.

"Justify your color choice for your ensemble." "What color was your childhood bedroom and why." etc. insert funny shit.

She'll be proving how she's right for the job.

"Alright, I guess you've got an idea what's going on. You can come up tomorrow night, but you can't stay long. My roommate has to get up early tomorrow."

BAM.

_________________
- Zip

Remember... YOU HAVE A LEG UP ON ANY NATURAL OUT THERE. They are unaware of social dynamics. They just feel it out and are confident. You have the wrong mindset thinking that you are automatically at a disadvantage. It probably smelled to her like you were not confident, therefore, not the top man for her.
Absolutely. Attraction can switch off, on, between people during the night.
Oh yeah. We like sex, but OUR value goes down if we're easy. We've figured this out.

Can you get her out away from the natural? Go out with other friends. I don't know enough about this particular social circle to tell you a magic pill. Why don't you just ask her out for a simple, non-stress day 2. Or, you can get her to "help you out" with something... like picking out an outfit for dinner with your mother or for a date with another girl. If you figure out how to get the girl to help you, she's going to become invested.

_________________
- Zip

Nice, I like those ideas. Opening a dialog about the room (or something in it) would work great because then she would become more comfortable and interested in the prospect of seeing it.

Thank's Zip, it was worth the wait

New question: There's this girl I'm friends with who I've like for a very long time...

...Just kidding

Okay, sounds like she's flirting with the idea of breaking up with her boyfriend... not flirting with the idea of YOU (per say.)

If you're looking to get laid once, you can. If you're looking to have her in a relationship, you need to leave her alone for a while. A long while. Come back to her.

Okay, if you want to get laid or have a bit of a fling with her... don't become her shrink. Actually, make a rule with her (playful, of course) that you both can't talk about EX's. Better yet, play a game with her. It's called "Negative vibe quota." Any time yall mention Ex's, (or other negative things) you have to have a consolation prize. They can start out silly like do a little dance, drink five seconds from her drink, kiss on the cheek, etc.
You want to slowly build the sexual tension and get her excited.

_________________
- Zip

Zip lovely, hope you new show in NY went well.
Anywho, been speaking to some people from my past (HB's) and since i no longer have sexual interest in them i thought i might aswell take the oppotuinty to get some information about myself from their perspective.

Anyways, most of it was as i expected and postive, however, a common thing that was coming up from lots of them was their answer to "what made you attracted to me?".
Now aside from more obvious things like funny/good looking/confident/smart the thing they all said was biggest was simply "somthing about you".
Now dont get me wrong, its flattering being told something about me is attractive, but it doesnt really help isolate it to tell other people or explain to wings etc. What do you believe "somthing about you" is likly to be? Is it just me or do lots of women become attracted to guys for unknown reasons?
Madals

Hey there Zip, im taking your advice and stayin away for a while..im not into one night stuff..now dont get me wrong, i like flirting..but meaningful flirting
now anywho, few days ago i was chatting with a girl i know online..and she made me realise something, she said: "hah you sound like my dad"
now, i told her im flattered that she thinks im wise..but looking back at it, could this be one of the reasons im easily dropped in the friends zone instead of the other one..i actually asked her if beeing "dad-like" was bad, she agreed and told me that im right that it made her see me more as a friend then anything else..so i told her that im stopping giving her wise advice and she didnt like that:D (of course she wouldnt, its easier to make a friend rather then taming a bf, right?:)
anyway, so i thought id share that with you, could that "daddy wisdom" be a bad quality i have? and how do u think i can change that, what mindset?
take care

_________________
Whether you think you can, or whether you think you cant, you are right.
H. Ford

Zip. I want your perspective on the Friend Zone. I'm great friends with a girl I love, we tease constantly, she's jealous of other girls, but she also confides really intimate things with me. So i'm not that kind of "rejected friend"

What would it take for you to fall in love with a close friend?

Here's the general rule: You always want to dress up for the occasion. If the invitation to a party says black tie, you wear a white blazer. If it calls for white blazer, you wear tails. If it calls for a button down, you wear a dinner jacket and tie.

You want to stand out for being on a level above everyone else rather than a level below. It's about value.

Now, how do you compromise that with your own personal rocker style, which is an extension of who you are? Dress up your bad-ass style just a bit, and you'll be standing out for all the RIGHT reasons.

Invest in expensive jeans. It's worth it. They need to make you look like a bad-ass. They can't be too baggy. Diesel or Lucky or any mid-end jeans store would be best. If not, go to Gap. Polo sport... hmm.. make sure you either take a girl with you or get a girl's opinion while you're shopping. Not just any girl. Find a girl who knows what she's doing and become her best friend.

You answered your own question... the way to dress your rocker look up is to pop on a blazer. It's a bad-ass look, and one that I personally rock when I go out in the fall. Look, the Jonas brothers are stupid, but their stylist is the fucking best in LA.



Another style that is also fun to play around with is a rocker dandy (like Beau Brummel.) Think mixing up pieces like vests, suspenders, ties, skinny ties, pocket watches, pocket squares.... with your own rocker pieces. The jonas brothers demonstrate again:



Russell Brand's style is impeccable and sexy:


WARNING: Be careful that you get these pieces in proportion, in good taste, and in materials and styles that don't project cheap. These guys in the picture below are an epic fail:



Why? Because the ties are out of porportion (except for the one in the vest,) the colors and patterns are disharmonious in a bad way, the materials look cheap, and the tailoring on the shirts looks like it's from the 70's.

As far as music... dude, like what you like. I like everything. I listen to everything from NIN to Bjork to John Mayer to Black Sabbath. It's good to be well versed in what's a huge hit on the radio, just so you don't look like you live in a cave, but don't change your tastes so you can get girls. Positively augment your taste and become a more cultured person.

As far as what girls like... they're going to be into what's on the radio and what's being played in clubs. Then, as you get to know them, they're just human beings who like whatever they like. Also depends on their cultural background.

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- Zip