Im not really a relationship guy, but there is this girl that is way hot, and has a matching personality. Anyways, we have hooked up two times now, both times were drunk. Now she completely knew what she was doing because she planned on hooking up with me the whole night and she said this while she was sober. Anyways, I guess a past boyfriend cheated on her, and now she has trust issues with guys. She tells my friend that she doesn't want a relationship right now. How can I make her change her mind? We hangout a couple times a week, not alone though. Should I not come around as often? What can I do at this point, obviously there is attraction and comfort with me, so what can I do next?

Ok... You need to build extreme comfort! And you need a connection.

I would recommend the soul-mate routine. Google "Soul mate moment".
This builds extreme connection and intimacy. And make sure you dont use the term relationship or BF/GF before it is obvious!

Good luck!

Either do that, hang out as you do, and enjoy her.

To enjoy a woman, do you REALLY NEED to have her as your gf?? No?? Well, slapping a bunch of rules on a good friendship with what sounds like something good will really fuck things up.

Lead, and just go with the flow right now imo. Date, hang out, but never call what you're doing by anything or ANY name. Anyone asks if your bf/gf, "no...we're just really close..." and don't ever ask 'where this is going' because (1) that's needy/clingy and (2) fuck, do you ask your best friend or someone who's company you enjoy 'where this is going'? No?

Lol

Thanks alot guys, both those responses are helpful.
I will definitely look in to the soul mate routine. Its not that I need her as a girlfriend, I just dont want some other guy swooping in on me. I dont mind being patient, as long as I know its not a waste of time. I haven't once yet messed things up by being AFC or anything. I am always in control, I make the first move when I feel like it. And I make sure to make a move when I drop her off. I dont always try to get with her when he hang out eithers, so it shows I have control.

Im sorry can anyone explain the soul mate moment? I googled it but its all crap, or lyrics of a song, or some youtube music vids or something

1. A girl telling you she doesn't want a boyfriend is like a junkie claiming he doesn't like heroin.

2. The crap she told you couldn't have been formed into a sentence if it wasn't for Hollywood and their lame ass afc based movies producing non-sensical blabber. Please . . . she can't tell the difference between you and her ex? Does she also have problems telling apart dick from a banana?

What she meant to tell you is . . . "I really, really, really, really want to be your girlfriend but you're not getting me that easily. Just because I'm horny and I hooked up with you 3 times doesn't mean I'm going to give it up every time when ever you want it."

Now the AFC has two cards to play. The first is to cry, beg, kneel, flowers, chocolates, etc . . . Funny thing is that a lot of times, this actually begins to turn the girl off. Second, all of this is could be too much of a challenge for the AFC so he quietly whimpers back into his den. Sorry but the whole soul mate thing goes in category one of the above AFC playbook in my mind. Soul what? Yeah, I know that game but this is NOT the time.

When she brings up the "ex-boyfriend blah blah, trust, blah."

Your answer is, "OK" with a reassuring smile.

DO EVERYTHING like you've been doing. Call her and take her out to movies, dinner everything, etc . . . At the same time, GAME OTHER WOMEN. Oh yeah, you read this loud and clear. She should know that on a certain night, you're going out with this girl you just met. If she ever brings it up, you tell her, "I thought you weren't ready for a boyfriend?" . . . "I'm ready for a girlfriend . . . We're still going to be best buddies . . . right?" Make her fear losing you and not the other way around. Don't be a tool.

She's playing major game on you and you're not realizing it because as men, we all have tendencies to roll back into chump-hood when some hot chick runs one on us. She's trying to wear the pants here. Unless you're ready to dawn the panties, think quick.

so should i tell her i like her, and would be interested in dating her, then when she gives me the "I dont want a boyfriend" line, just play it off? And just keep doing what I have been doing? I heard from a friend of hers that she doesnt want a boyfriend, she hasnt directly told me this yet.

Ok... Soul-mate moment.

I did not come up with it but I love it. I dont wanna take credit for it but I will try to explain it. For me it has always worked and created a very strong bond with girls, even the ones I have not ended up in a relationship with.

You need to be in the comfort building stage.

To create a moment like that. You start with a cold/warm-read. Tell her something about herself that is one of her main strengths.
Rather, show her that you understand her main strength (beauty/social/impulsive. etc.) and show her that you can relate this to one of your strengths (a similar strength).
I usually go for beauty and play on that I look different and exotic.

It is very important that you show her that you understand that people may be intimidated by her strength. (People not approaching her from fear of her beauty.) And that you are not! After all you have the same problem so of course you fully understand this. (Do NOT tell her that you understand that but drop a sentence like: and you know it is so darn annoying when people....)
Now for the final touch, show her that you understand that this comes with a price! (People not taking you seriously and I know that she knows exactly what you are talking about.)
End by saying something like... Wow, we seem to have something in common after all. You are pretty smart, you understand these things.

Enjoy

Ez,

Are you in the midst of a B movie marathon?

Danny, No pua EVER, EVER tells a girl, "ohhhhh I like you. . . .:

Wake up! Show her that you like her through a well thought out strategy. I don't recommend the mushy soul-a thon when you can't even manage to get yourself to first base.

This is all sooooo AFC, it's making my stomach turn. . . What the fuck is going on here? Have the AFC's taken over this forum!?!?!?

Props. Props. Props. and... MORE PROPS? You just helped me out with something I really screw up on with every relationship I "chase". I actually think I may have just ruined a good girl NOT doing what you said. horse crap.

Anyway, thanks for putting this out there.

most of the time i would say when a girl says " i don't want to be in a relationship" means i don't want to be in a relationship with you

but you had sex with her, so that turns the tables slightly.

_________________
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Blogs and summaries of everything I have learned and field tested.

I do have to challenge you on this one point. I have told guys that I like that I do not want a relationship. Granted, I tell them I may be into an open relationship...but still, I dont want to be exclusive. My reasoning is that I just moved to a big city and I am still at the point in my life that I can experience so many new and exciting things that I dont want to settle down and be restricted right now.

It is true....prob 95% of girls DO want a relationship and should be called out on it if they deny it. But there is a small percentage that just dont want to be exclusive and say "i dont want a relationship right now" to convery that. And someone said that they dont want a relationship with you...that is a possibility in some cases...but i dont think yours.

Hey, thanks for your input but I think your explanation pretty much explains it. Come on . . . how many guys do you "like"? 3? 5? . . . 100?

Of course you don't want to settle down with somebody you "like" . . . How about a guy who sweeps you off your feet, and your blows you away with excitement. Hold his hand and it makes your swirl with and your heart skip a beat type of guy? I know you're trying to play Ms. Cool and yeah, guys try to play Mr. Cool but this is NOT a choice. You don't choose to have a boyfriend or choose not to. Isn't what you're really trying to say: "I do not want a relationship an AVERAGE guy that I simply 'like'?"

For the guys . . . isn't this the game? Isn't working through field tested, scientifically researched methods to create attraction what this game is about? It's all about triggering a desire that is unexplainable . . . You'll hear, "you know, I really wasn't planning on having a boyfriend. . . " right after her bed shaking, violent orgasms just burst your eardrum.

And it's also the reason why an effective game isn't enough. You've created attraction through a circus show. You did a song and dance. After the "show" is over, the only way you can demonstrate that you are above and beyond the average guy is to actually BE an above and beyond average guy.

So I'm in a very similar situation. I ran flawless game on the chick, we've hooked up a few times in a week. Push comes to shove, I think I made myself too available. She ended up giving me the "What are we?", saying she wasn't ready for anything serious and I said perfect, I get to hang out with a cool fun girl and get a good fling out of it.

So this girl ends up hooking up with one of my best friends, fucked up, I know. But he is trash, treats women like garbage, and is a complete insult to the community. I definitely have more game then him, that's fine. I'm pretty sure they both figured out that I found out because I know enough people on my college campus.

It's her choice, him or me, but she thinks I came on too strong. Do I have a third neutral party intervene and tell her to make sure she doesn't lose me, without looking like I said anything? Or, do I just let her go, freeze her out a few days and let her come back--However, how should I proceed? All of her friends love me and got my number from her so that they can be in contact with me because of the many things I learned here (being fun, all around, Alpha)

Not sure of all the circumstances but based on the fact that you wrote this post the way you did, I'd say that you probably acted too needy. This is a tough act to follow because usually, it's when we meet someone so special that our natural AFC tendencies shine the most.

You're pretty much done with this one. She used you as a pivot to get to your friend.

All this "Him or me" is AFC land. You can go the "third party intervention" route if you want to strengthen THEIR relationship AND lower your value so that it's even more difficult for you to get dates. If you freeze her out, thinking you'll get he to come back to you, she'll read you from a mile away and enjoy the process of fucking your friend while she has a chump thinking about her.

It's time to clean the slate and sarge. And you gotta sarge like you mean it. You go strong, gain yourself a rep and the original girl might make herself available to you again. Believe me, by that point, you really, really will not find her anything out of ordinary.