I find that when I am talking to AMOGs or really hot girls i can keep a conversation going, but as soon as it ends I just keep thinking about all the things I could of done better, or ways in which I should of said something better. I beat myself up over this stuff, and it consumes my thoughts for hours.

Today, I talked to an old friend of mine that I was out of touch with for a while. We chatted for a bit, and I felt like i was doing most of the talking while he was doing most of the question-asking/responding to my answers. I usually like to be the person in control of a conversation. Either way, the conversation flowed without any silent awkwardness. I was in a really good mood prior to the call and even for 5 minutes after. Then, within the next 10 minutes my mentality completely changed. All I could think about was what I could of said better, or how I could of made the convo more enticing for him. Essentially, I trap myself in the woulda, coulda, shoulda mentality.

I understand that what is in the past, is in the past and I shouldn't waste my energy and thoughts, but I still find it very hard. I was really trying to keep my mentality positive, by reviewing the conversation in a positive light. However, I couldn't help but wish I said one thing instead of another.

I guess the reason this is happening is because I want the persons approval so badly that I spend my time thinking of what I could of said better; i become a perfectionist over my choice of words, comments, and questions when talking to high value people.



This community has always done a good job at inspiring me with their words, so any feedback would be greatly appreciated. What do you guys think is a good way to keep myself from thinking about what i could of or shoulda done.

You need to face the facts that You cant change the past as well as You need to be the alpha its really the only way to do it, think of the success you've had and use it as alpha fuel to remind your self regardless of he thinks you show that you are THE alpha.

It sounds like you got the motivation to be a great PUA, but if you let your obsession with perfection continue, you will burn out of this PUA stuff. It just won't even be fun anymore because you keep banging your head in the wall whenever you sarge. Dude, this stuff ain't calculus, it's meant to be fun. Relax! Enjoy the ride! Stop having unrealistic expectations of yourself and just take it for what it is...you're meeting new people.

_________________
"Who the f**k is Fanning?"

ya man i hear you. my problem actually is not with new people, i actually seem to be doing fine with them.

my problem is with old friends that out-alpha'd me in the past. i havent seen some of the guys i am going to be living with in over 5 months, and i have made some big changes to my lifestyle. i saw one of them recently and it felt almost like i was conditioned to acting passive as i did for the last year of the friendship with them. i was trying to break free of that passive shell, but moments of uncomfort crept over me. this doesn't really happen with new people, as my mentality with new people has completely changed. it is mostly with people i've known from the past that i have feelings of uncomfort with.

ideally, i need to stop caring what they think and just do my own thing. if i relax and stop giving a shit then my comfort level will rise with these people.

i hate how i feel so confident infront of people with LSE but as soon as i have to communicate with an alpha or somebody who has alpha'd me in the past i become the person with LSE.

Comparing myself to other people is the biggest way to create low self esteem. i can't do this if i want to feel comfortable amongst the alhpas. i can't be putting them on a higher pedestool. we all have something special to offer. i must reinforce this thought.

Getting too many questions?

Ask one question for every question you get asked.

Yeah, dude, you're too into this 'amog or not' shit. Calm the fuck down, lol.

Check :28 - :38 second mark. It's perhaps exactly what you're looking for and need at this moment.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0_mMukg12_o[/youtube]

In a way, you could say Dave Navarro is slightly AMOGing Style with his 'wow, awesomes' etc. If you were Style, you would be thinking "is he trying to DHV by affirming my status, therefore putting me underneath him?" Hahaha. How stupid is that.

However, Strauss gets validation from only one person - himself. So even if you did interpret DN as DHVing, Neil's insistence on being himself and telling his story as if THAT is the important thing wins out in the end.

Being shy etc with alphas = you seek validation from them
Being yourself, seeing yourself as EQUAL = you are self-validated and want to share YOUR personality with THEIR personality.

Random tip - arm around the old alpha guy as if you missed his ass. "Dude, WHERE YOU BEEN MAN?!?! GIMME A HUG BITCH!"