congrats man. im still dealing with my oneitis by sarging infront of her and going for hookins next to her lol

I think telling her your true feelings is a good idea sometimes. In your case at least you cleared up where you stand. Best thing is to just move on, forget her if she comes running back and tbh she might u gotta freeze her until you can deal with talking to her again because if ur not over her all those feelings are coming up again and u'll have a knot in ur stomach for a week lol.

Anyways I have done the this is how i feel ball is in your court move before. I usually feel I did it too late if you sorta do half chase half freeze out post break up (which a lot of guys do becuase they flip flop between freeze out, then girl chases an INCH, then they go softa gain and hang out then that didn't go so hot so freeze out again and repeat... then eventually they say fuck it i'm telling her how i feel then big freeze out, they get over the girl and either 50% of time she will re-contact you and chase you or 50% she won't (well tbh I GUARENTEE she will contact you again whether its a drunk call or wathever). Ignore that, you gotta seriously play legit freeze out from now on man. If she gives you an inch DO NOT BITE! DO NOT CALL HER, Do not try anything to get her back you let her know how u feel its over DON"T chase her back.

It sucks I've been there move on meet people for the first few weeks the ONLY time you won't be feeling miserable is when ur fucking someone else and the second that girl leaves u'll prob start feeling miserable again so just relax, get busy wiht a new project whatever it is.

TBH what makes me feel the best when i was in one-itis land is coming to these forums or other PUA forums and reading about sarging. Its a quick 15 minute forget about her that at times of weakness is VERY VERY ESSential so you don't go and call her, or do something stupid.

Remember anything you think of any ploy you might have from here on out is a dumb idea, trust me I've thought of them all and rationalized it like ohh man this is a good idea or i'll do this for her and she'll appreciated it and blah blah blah. I'm telling you from experience you can listen or learn the hard way, but the quicker you learn how to deal with this feeling the better. Everyone knows its hard nad sucks but trust me if you do a serious freeze out you will feel 100 times better. Time will heal it. Start having fun on your own and be happy to be single.

If you feel weak please post again before you do anything I check these forums daily and will post if I see something.

Thanks guys.

I went out last night and filed a field report in the Field Reports section. Then today I had a date flake on me, a hastily-arranged date with a backup girl that flaked on me, then about ten minutes ago I happened to # close a Polish HB8.5 in the supermarket after much wondering if I should approach her. She half opened me, in fact, this was after one of those odd few minutes when I noticed several different girls checking me out each within a few minutes of each other.

Then it was back to the apartment where GHB9 is still barely speaking to me. I just made a little bit of small talk and let her say as little as she wanted, and left it at that. As you say I figure there's no point in pushing it. She's clearly mulling things over, so I'll just let her figure it all out in her head. Maybe she'll come around, and if she doesn't then I have plenty of other irons in the fire.

I dont' get why shes being cold shoulder to you. I re-read your posts but maybe I missed something. did you insult her or something or just opening up to her about your feelings has insulted her??

Not once did I insult her. I agree, the cold shouldering is very strange.

Maybe she feels lied to. Like you decieved her. She thought you two were just buddies and that you were on a different level than just something sexual. She seems confused so giving her her space is the smartest idea. My self-destructing ass would bring it back up and talk to her again. That would probably be bad.

I dunno, just my thoughts though.

_________________
success is my only mother fucking option, failure is not.

Yeah, I've spoken to a few other people and they've figured the same thing. I thought she'd appreciate me finally being honest with her, but maybe it wasn't soon enough for her liking.

This is the first time I've looked at his thread, and I understand your situation because I've been in a similar situation before (it was my room mate too).

She is giving you the cold shoulder because you were one of the few people she trusted and she feels like you betrayed her. It was obvious to me after reading your first post that you were in the LJBF zone, but I know from being in the situation that it isn't easy to spot when you're involved.

You should take David De Angelo's advice: If you have to tell a girl how you feel before she's given you the opportunity to show her (with some form of close), then you've done something wrong.

One thing that I notice is that you feel she gave you lots of IOIs. Personally, I think she gave you huge amounts of LJBF signals, but because you felt so strongly about her you misread them.

Sorry to be blunt about this, but this situation was so similar to my own that I know you were in the LJBF zone from very early on.

There's not really any advice I can give you now, except to use this as a learning experience and notice the signs next time round. Just be glad that with this knowledge you shouldn't have to go through this again.

Update: I'm pretty much over it, but she's not. I'm moving out in 2 weeks, so it's all good. I'm actually seeing someone too, in the process of converting an LJBF to an LTR, although I'm not as heavily invested in that as I was in my roommate. I'll put up a new thread about that when I get time.

So yes, I was in the LJBF zone early on, but ignored the signals because my feelings were making me do it. I still have her text in my phone saying that the bruderschraft thing was a one-time experience, I always felt compelled to keep that because there was something about it. It was an obvious sign in hindsight, but at the time I couldn't accept it, I just didn't think about it. But part of me knew that there was something in there that I had to know, which is probably why I kept it. Strange things, the tricks the human mind can play with you.

I just got back from a weekend conference in Boston. I was in full PU mode and utterly on fire. Field report to follow in the FR section.

sorry to semi-hijack the thread but Im in the almost exactly same situation (big fat one-itis) you were in, Im serving in a military base - very small with not much people on it, theres a girl there which I spend most of my time with her while im there (one week there, and then Im going one week on holiday), anyway, I have pretty good kino going with her on our base, but several time ago, I met her "off-duty", and she was pretty cold to me kino wise, I tried to kino her but no reply from her, anyway, last night she calls me 3 am.. she was kinda drunk and she started talking to me casual stuff, anyway like 20 minutes into the conversation she tells me she "saw a hot guy today and got his number" and asked me how can i get him to be intrested in her...
anyway, my question is, is she trying to make me jealous or im heavily in the LJBF zone?

yeah I too have a simillar problem to the above poster, wish i could post a new topic but I guess I need 29 more posts! Stupid exams getting in the way!

I can certainly relate very well to this topic. I posted my experience on another thread here but I'll make a quick repeat. I had IOIs from a really hot HB9.5 girl from Thailand who knew me awhile ago and had gotten back into my life. I guessed I mis-intepreted the IOIs and didn't realise that I was LJBFed right from the start but anyway...I got into a hotel room with her one night in Pattaya and was kinoing her all the time but then she told me that she couldn't make me her BF or have sex with me that night. I didn't handle the LJBF experience too well and out of a fit of self anger and stupidity, I froze her out in the morning. The absolute hurt and disappointment completely destroyed whatever rapport was between us and I felt like total shit for it. I should have just taken it as a "NO BIG DEAL" thing but at that moment, my emotions and ego were totally fucked up and I certainly wasn't thinking well at all...
(Sigh) I'm moving on now. Good thing is that I'm dating another HB...she's a HB8 and the IOIs are there but this time, I'm playing it more cautious and cooler and I'm going out to more parties, single's nights out and meeting other HBs at clubs and bars so that I can give myself a wider range of options and wouldn't fall to the one-itis mental illness. I guess that the silver lining is that I learnt from that experience and, hopefully, become wiser about my dating and PUs. And, maybe it isn't right to say this, but after reading Speed-bird's experience, I'm glad that I'm not the only guy out there who has gone through this crap and that there's someone I can relate to...LOL...I'll have a drink to all my brother PUAs out there who have gone thru this experience. We are all human beings at the end of the day

any answer on this one _O_

Update: Thanks again for all of the advice you guys gave me on this, it really helped me through a tough time.

So a lot of water has passed under the bridge since I posted on this thread but there was something of a happy ending. It got worse before it got better though. In the weeks before I moved out she would react to my rare attempts to speak to her by either ignoring me or yelling.

So I moved out, got into an LTR with a girl who I knew for a while (from my native Ireland) and that ended mutually agreeably after about four months.

Then my German ex roommate added me as a friend on Facebook. (I'd deleted her as a friend when I was going through the worst of it - didn't want to see photos of her hooking up with guys.)

I took a day or two to decide what to do about this and figure out what it meant, then I accepted the request. A few days passed by and there was no contact from her. Then she commented on a photo I'd posted, but still didn't directly contact me.

So after reading her posts I'd figured that she was getting ready to leave the country and go back to Germany, and it looked like she wanted to clear things up before she left. So I took the plunge and emailed her. She replied pretty quickly and was civil. We emailed back and forth with general stuff about how we'd been and what we've been up to, she explained her work and living situation, then she invited me to her going-away party.

I didn't respond to the invite one way or another, but I plucked up the courage to go to her party. I was the first person there. She was the second. She came in and gave me a big smile and a hug as soon as she saw me. She had been wondering if I was going to show or not.

We chatted, had a few drinks, she introduced me to her friends as they arrived (one of whom was a HB8 who I number closed) and eventually the subject came up about what had happened between us.

She confirmed what many of you have said. She felt betrayed. But she understood now and she wasn't mad at me anymore. I got to fully explain my side and she got to explain hers, and she understood that I had to tell her how I felt because I couldn't keep it to myself any longer.

So we parted on good terms and even kissed briefly on the lips. She's since left the country, and if I'm ever in Berlin I have an open invitation to look her up and hang out. We do the odd bit of Facebooking still.

Me? I'm rebuilding my mojo and getting revved up for my 2009 dating/sarging campaign. I had gotten laid in December thanks to some Mystery method, and again recently after reconnecting with an old fuck-buddy I used to have around here.

I'm moving out of this two-bed apartment into a 1-bed - I figure that it's easier to make an apartment chick-compatible if I have absolute control over it. I've always found that bringing girls back to a shared apartment has quickly been followed by the end of the relationship. Time to make a serious effort now. I'm back cycling to work, renewed my racing license and about to sign up for some races (part of operation get-in-shape), keeping busy at work to keep my job secure in these troubled times, keeping involved in plenty of DHV-generating community work, compiling DHV material to whip out in my iPhone, re-reading The Game, trying new cookery recipes in preparation for seduction meals or dinner parties that I could host in my new place, and reviewing my self-written routines.

Things are looking good. This could be my year.