Hey guys- I am pretty sure this is a huge flaw in my game and has prevented me from going to the next level.

Basically- well----I have a "Knight in Shining Armor" complex. I don't think it helps that girls who are broken are magnetically drawn to me so, what happens? I seduce them, realize how hard it's been for them and back down because I don't want them to get hurt any further....In a way- I end up wanting to rescue them.

Granted this is a huge piece in the puzzle, and I realize it is a big part of my personality. I am passionate, an artist , courageous, I even have a romantic side....mostly all of these traits I keep buried (which is one reason I have writers block) but I think it seeps through and the more intuitive girls can sense it. The broken ones see it first in "Horse Theory" (a recent post) and then as it progresses feel it...so they latch on.

I love that I have this side of me- don't get me wrong- but, a girl has to earn it. Is there anyway to harness it? Maybe keep it under control?

woman need to deserve your respect in order to get to know this side of you...

that is a value that i would adopt

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AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
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Most definitely... which generally I have...however- there has got to be a way to harness it, get it working for me. It is this wild, animal side of me I've had to learn how to bury under logic, a regimented life and even tremendous self discipline (one reason I did well in the military and professionally now) however- it is a piece of me, and I got to learn how to deal with it. I suppose this is more inner game- but I have noticed it. First I find a girl, seduce her, get to the brink, realize JUST how fragile she is and either pull back or burn the bridge so she can't follow me--- everytime. I am a good looking guy, great life and my game is generally solid UNTIL this point. If I just leave it as is or bury it further: not only am I sabotaging myself (which I do quite often) but, it's keeping me from the next level of game.

Anyone experienced this? Have insights?

Sounds like NLP may help you a bit to get the frame of mind you are looking for. You could read: "introduction to NLP by o'connor and seymour. I don't know if it may help you, but it can't hurt either.

Ill be honest, NLP kind of creeps me out.

Hey if it's not your thing, don't do it

Come to think of it, maybe you just wanted to hear us say something like:

"don't be her therapist".

Haha- bravo. I think what sums it up for me--and a lot of men is a quote by a feminist believe it or not. It's one reason I have had to get the game.....


Men weren't really the enemy - they were fellow victims suffering from an outmoded masculine mystique that made them feel unnecessarily inadequate when there were no bears to kill.
Betty Friedan

It's this nature thats hardwired into me- but I can't control it, and don't know how to use it.....

You CANNOT use something, which you cannot CONTROL.

Sure, you can predict the behavior of that side of you, as I can see from your post. You know what will happen eventually and that pattern is followed.

BUT, you also need to realise that it is your brain, and your control till the time that side.. sort of takes over(?).. that you can utilise.

There is no harm in being the good guy, or the better guy. There is no harm in feeling for her or be moved by her brokenness. But, you need to realise that we cannot control our animalistic urges. We were all beasts at some point, and all those centuries of evolution cannot take out those traits, tells us about how strongly rooted they are in our person.

Look, unless you find some control over this, the only thing which I can suggest you to do is to 'disconnect' from the situation, do not 'feel' to such an extent that you start feeling more and more and women just take this for granted.

Everyone is broken, man. You just need to understand who is broken more. You cannot start feeling for every wrong thing happened to every girl. That just makes to vulnerable.

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" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

I have this too--the knight in shining armor thing (kisa)--and I definitely attract my share of damaged women (not to mention abandoned pregnant cats, needy old ladies, and lost/lonely 5 year olds--none of which is of interest!). It is something I turn to my advantage. The key is realizing that you can't fix anyone except yourself, and it's not your job. Once you own that, then the energy that goes with the KISA thing works great--especially if you can combine it with just a bit of dark-side edge.

You work the KISA thing with your energy, but you don't invest time/energy into "helping"--advising, mentoring, etc. during game. (All of that is part of the job description for a BF, not a PU.)

Here is an example, I opened on a stripper a few weeks ago--picked the one I noticed I was getting an IOI from, hit her with several playful negs--within an hour she was asking me outside to smoke with her, sitting on my lap, etc. I worked it to trust building, got her number, kissed her, and did fun conversation with her two stripper friends. Anyway, she picks up on the whole KISA thing and starts sharing--single mom, problems with the kids, ex- is a jerk, yaddity, yaddity, all even interesting, but the thing is you stay too sympathetic to all this and all of a sudden you are on friend track. What I did--what I do--is to take some distance (in this case I starting opening some of the other girls, changed the subject if she tried to go there--a mild off topic neg works, you don't want to neg targets on their serious stuff). That way she knows she has to work to keep you interested. Which she has all the more incentive to do if you have given her a taste of the KISA thing. Just remember a little goes a long way and spending too much time in support mode will quickly de-sexualize the situation.

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Cuts like a knife

I find it's GOOD to be a girl's therapist. Girls like to be banged by guys they can talk to. Just make sure that you also escalate physically. And don't just listen... talk. Lead. Give good advise. I found that a lot of the material that I read for PU, especially inner game stuff, is just good self help advise that I give back to girls to help them with their shit.

Last week I had a girl at my place that had tons of career problems and a lot of shit on her mind.. at first I thought that there is no chance I'm gonna fuck her that evening... she was almost crying.

But then I went into a one hour monologue which was more or less a summary of the "blueprint decoded" - core values, know what you want in life, don't follow what society tell you... etc. The chick was so fucking impressed by the end of the speech she told me something like "wow, how can you be so smart?" and I could see how turned on this made her.

5 minutes later I was banging her.

No... what you do is make out with her. That would keep you out of the friend zone forever.

Totally agree with this. And generally when gaming, I am totally disconnected, shit, I don't even get approach anxiety. But eventually, you guys start getting real, you start hearing about it, and once upon a time it was a vulnerability, you know, the knight in shining armor complex, now, I just notice it happening and burn the fucking bridge. No hesitation. If I could get this under control, I could be a PUA demi-god but it's like...I reckon I should just stay disconnected longer.....and then...IF she has earned it, I should start to slowly open the valve. But- for some reason it doesnt feel authentic. Like I am not bringing me to the table....

But- like said, I just have to make her earn it more. I spoke with another PUA who I work with and in a sense, he deals with it too....this is apparently common. I mean who among us doesnt feel his heart burning in his chest? Or a surge of strength or want to fight a fucking bear on occasion?

All I know is- the longer I have buried this, the deeper it's gone, the more I refused to understand it, the longer I haven't felt whole. Let's be honest, a man can't live without his heart.

There is a saying in France---You don't fall in love with the woman, you fall in love with her illusion. I suppose since dating and pickup is unnatural to begin with, I should keep it up longer.
This post is money dude. Good call. This is my exact situation and then I feel bad when I continue seducing, like if I sleep with her, is this going to compound her problems, so I pull back. It's like kryptonite for my game! This is my Lex Luther!

The reason why it doesn't.. feel 'authentic'.. is because you don't want to feel that way.

What you feel about authenticity has a lot to do with what makes you comfortable believing in.

Make no mistake, I am NOT telling you to not been some knight which maidens want to be with, but at the same time you need to understand that your heart is a big, big thing and you care a great deal. It's that care which has to be earned by the person, you cannot and I repeat,CANNOT give everyone your care and feel deeply about that.

I'm not asking you to disconnect yourself completely.

Limit your ability to care.

Comprende?

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" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

Spot on as always Don. Good looking out.

trying to be something you aren't...

lol most people who come into PUA are in fact very introvert and shy people ... introverts are very good in 1 on 1 interactions but they generally don't feel like working groups.. extrovert are the exact opposite...

use your strengths to your advantage , and balance out your flaws.. you cannot be flawless when dealing with other people.

you are on the right path when you get approach anxiety...if you don't feel such thing you are probably repressing something.

_________________
AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
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