Lately I have been hurt really badly and basically given up on a proper relationship and just trying ONS. The problem is I can't get back on trying to get in a proper relationship and up my self esteem and confidence. What can I do to help myself out??

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“If you can't ignore an insult, top it; if you can't top it, laugh it off; and if you can't laugh it off, it's probably deserved." - J. Russel Lynnes

I am/was in the exact same position as you. I don't want to sound promotional or whatever, but after reading 'The Game', it made me realise almost anyone can be a PUA, as long as they try hard enough.

95% of the game seems to be about how you view yourself - you need to make yourself the target in a way. Remember that these girls will shoot you down, reject you - and never see you again. And you bounce back from each shootdown with a bit more experience. The 3 second rule is great for nervous/shy people - memorise a few openers and conversation topics and work on them in a club/bar. Having a wing always helps too - if things go wrong they can make it easier to get out.

My advice in short would be:

- Read the game if you haven't already
- Remember/enforce the 3 second rule
- Make yourself feel better. Go to the gym, get a haircut, get your self-confidence up
- Remember these girls will never see you again, and if things go wrong they'll probably forget you anyway
- A lot/most women are out for the same thing, remember this too!

I'm sure some of the PUA's can give you much better advice, but this has worked for me!

First, know that however you may have been burned recently, other men all over the world have experienced it, rebounded from it, and found themselves in greener pastures as a result. You will, too, if you go out and live your life.

My biggest piece of advice would be to limit your alone time. I used to sit at home alone after bad breakups and rejections and let all of my "problems" cycle through my head freely. That cycle gets out of hand quickly.

These days, if I'm sitting in my apartment and I have even the suspicion that I may be falling into a cycle of depressing internal dialogue, I get dressed and walk to the gym, or I walk down main street and force myself to go meet new people at the local coffee house or bar. Invariably, after the first few conversations, I'm not forcing anything, and I'm totally in state. I've met some great women and cool guys on days that started out "badly."

Turn your bad days into personal development challenges and opportunities, rather than lending credence to your doubts.

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"I'm currently treating two sets of Siamese twins with split personalities. I'm getting paid by eight people." - Leonard Zelig