Losing people trough selfimprovement



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PostPosted: Wed Aug 17, 2011 9:11 pm 
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Joined: Sat Jul 23, 2011 11:27 am
Posts: 85
I have to put these thoughts on paper to get some second opinions.

There where 2 girls in the last 7 years that where my one-itis. it was really bad, and things where fucked up beyond any measure. So you know, that didn't boost my confidence.

Moving on.. Now i've been doing some gaming, i've become a semi-confident guy, happy with his live. Now in a couple of months I had to stop the contact with both the girls (for some reason i tried my best to stay friends with them). They began finding me arrogant and mean. Now about the mean part, i just don't agree. I consider myself as a good guy. But the difference is, I won't let them walk over me anymore. And the arrogant part: well, i just like to make arrogant jokes:P.

So my theory is, and please correct me if i'm wrong: They have been dominant all this time (that's a fact). But now i'm developing myself, i've grown to someone that is not anymore under their control. This is a problem that they have with me. I've read posts about this before: people saying they where losing friends because of their new character. The other theory is that i've been overdoing it a bit. Could there be truth in both theories? do i miss something?

And also(and this is pretty AFC:P) I would like some words about cutting contact with former one-itisses, i mean, it was the right thing to do right?


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 17, 2011 9:46 pm 
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Joined: Thu Aug 05, 2010 7:05 pm
Posts: 340
There are countless stories of fat chicks who get gastric bypass, start exercising, start eating right and lose over 100lbs. You'd think their husbands would be thrilled with a new slender woman in bed with them right? But no wait there's more - Their husbands end up dumping them.

Why? because they have turned into a different person. They were no longer the fat chick that they married.

Men growing balls often have the same effect. As a whole women in general are not sexually attracted to pussyboys. however there are a lot (and I do mean a lot) of women who are more comfortable and feel more confident and secure with AFC, timid, pussy boys.

When those pussy boys grow some balls and start to stand up for themselves and start doing what they want, the women now become insecure and don't like it. Many can't handle it and go out looking for another AFC that they can dominate.

Yes, this is going to happen. People are drawn to you for who and what you are at the time. If you change significantly, their opinion of and feelings towards you are going to change too.

You have a choice, you can either grow some balls and live your life according to your desires and invite the women of your chosing into your life. Or you can be a pussy boy and take whatever woman that comes along that will have you because she wants someone that she can manipulate and boss around.


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 17, 2011 9:52 pm 
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Joined: Thu Jul 22, 2010 5:57 pm
Posts: 24
I haven't completely alienated anyone since beginning my transformation, but I have definitely grown apart from people, especially a few girls (platonic "best friends") who had me hopelessly friend zoned and constantly bedeviled me for the longest time.

Those "old friends" were exposed to me as a very passive, anxious, obnoxiously agreeable person (the kind of person who would go with them to, say, shoe stores and midnight showings of "Twilight" just to hang with them instead of manning up and saying that I would rather eat glass).

Since I strongly believe that we develop friendships with people who have qualities we want in our lives, I can only conclude that they wanted a guy friend who was non-threatening, easily persuaded, etc, and I fit the bill perfectly.

Then...

I got over some personal issues, which I discussed in another thread, and started studying and applying game to my life.

I would be out with these girl friends and start gleefully flirting with and number closing women in restaurants, movie theaters, malls, and anywhere else. They would look at me like one might look at a guy running naked through a graveyard.

I would tell them of my successes with women, and they would get hilariously uncomfortable, obviously forgetting all the times I listened to them talk about the latest winners they were dating.

The point is that I was a different person to them, and so they had to evaluate whether this new person had traits that they wanted in their lives, just as they had done upon meeting me for the first time. Two of them, I guess, decided that I was no longer appealing as a close friend. Though, because I was more self-assured, I was totally okay with that. The other is still a dear friend and a world-class pivot. ;-)

Meanwhile, new friends I make are befriending someone who is a (more) confident, assertive, and socially aggressive person, and the friendships are a million times healthier for it.

_________________
"I'm currently treating two sets of Siamese twins with split personalities. I'm getting paid by eight people." - Leonard Zelig


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