| little long but a good read
BACKROUND:
A year and a half ago, my long term relationship ends and I start to pursue my little sister's best friend who has had a huge crush on me since she was like 12. My life is kind of a mess and I don't know shit about game...so I totally fuck it up! I even end up writing her a gay ass love letterish type email. She rejects me and the roles are reversed. Now I'm the one with the crush.
UPDATE:
Over the last year and a half I have gotten my life together, moved to a new city, and have developed some pretty solid pua skills.
For awhile I kind of avoided my sister's best friend and moved on. I stopped acting like an afc but she was still pretty flaky. On several occasions she texted me out of the blue, then I would respond with a question or suggested getting a drink and I would get no response from her. It seemed like she was playing games and it turned me off so I stopped contacting her (my sis told me once that things never work out with her friend and guys because she's pretty flaky). Then I moved to another city and we started texting a little here and there.
Recently, I went home to visit for a week and she pursued me pretty hard. She stopped by the house, texted me a lot, and tried to get me to meet her and my sis out. I met her, my sis, and another one of their friends out one night one night at a bar. My confidence was pretty high, given the fact that she was pursuing me. When I arrived, I sat down next to her and immediately put my arm around her for a brief period. We had a drink there and then went to another bar. We got a table and I sat down next to her again. As we all talked I was close to her and was holding seductive eye contact. I grabbed her hand under the table, let go, put my hand on her lower back a few times. Then my sister and the other friend left for another room in the bar. I immediately grabbed her hand again. She turned to me and said she was very attracted to me but didn't want my sister to be mad at her. I ignored this comment and started caressing her hand and forearm. She threw some tests at me and I just smirked and ignored them. I was kind of sick and told her that I wanted to kiss her but wasn't going to. I told her it would have to wait for another night. She was melting, getting very close, we were touching each other a lot. I put her hand on my leg, then on my dick. She came in to be kissed. She wanted kissed so bad whether I was sick or not. I kissed her. We made out in the bar, joked about how tacky it was, and made out some more. It was awesome. It was awesome that we were finally getting somewhere after all this time.
We then walked around the bar and met up with my sis and her other friend. They saw us making out. My sis gave me a little shit but in a joking way. We all left as the bar was about to close. My sis and her friends left in a separate car since they drove there together. When I get home my sis is there. I get a text from her friend saying she wants to see me. I text back saying I'll stop over her place. My sis asks me where I'm going and I tell her to walk the dog (the dog is in his cage in another room). My sister tells me not to go to her friend’s place. I leave and go to her friend’s place. All the lights are off. The front door is unlocked so I just walk in. I go to her room and climb in her bed where she is asleep. I touch her slowly to wake her up and we start going at it. I try to go down on her but she won't let me because she is due for a waxing the next day. I feel down there and she is not lying. She says to wait until the following night. I may have been able to pass this resistance but I didn't feel the need to. It was an awesome night. We kept alternating between messing around and joking around all night, and barely got any sleep. We had amazing chemistry.
The next night she stopped over for dinner, then I went back to her place and we watched one of our favorite TV shows. We started messing around a little. She said she wanted me to stay over but she really needed to get some sleep because she had work the next day. I was really tired myself because we were up all night the previous night. I elected to not try and push past her resistance and left. I told her to rest up because I would see her the following night.
Shortly after I left, I got a text from her saying she was questioning her judgment and kind of wanted me in her bed. Looking back, I interpret this as an invitation to let myself in and climb in her bed like I did the previous night. But I didn't. I was tired like I mentioned, but I also let my pride get in the way. I didn't want to go back there after she had just told me to leave. Instead I texted her telling her to rest up because I might have to wake her up the following night (lame).
The following night I text her asking if she's up for a drink. She said she's working late but definitely the following night.
The next night she says she's working late again and doesn't know when she'll be done.
The following night I try again but don't suggest drinks this time. I suggest something more fun and creative...ice cream and a scary movie! No response from her. I text her again saying it's my last night in town so I'm going to have to insist on seeing her. No response from her.
I have a few ideas on what happened:
First, I should have stayed over the second night no matter how tired I was. And after I got the text about her wanting me in her bed, I should have gone over and GOT IN HER BED! I shouldn't have let my pride get in the way. And things were going so well that I took this opportunity for granted. I forgot how flaky this girl had been in the past.
Why did she flake on me the following nights?
By not pushing past her resistance, maybe she viewed that as me turning her down.
Maybe she was protecting herself from getting hurt. She knew if we got alone again she would let herself get fucked and then I would go back to my new home on the other side of the country. And she knows I've been playing the field back here.
Another theory: A pua coach told me once that some girls act really flaky on purpose when they like a guy, in an attempt to get him more invested. They go back and forth between two ends of the spectrum, chasing him really hard and then acting really flaky. This girl definitely has a pattern of this behavior.
I guess it's possible that her worrying about my sister getting mad could have played a role. My sister probably wasn't thrilled but she didn't seem all that mad.
Even though we live in different cities now, I wouldn’t mind seeing where it goes with this girl. We’ve known each other for a long time and have amazing chemistry. A few weeks have gone by without contact and she is already pursuing me again. She texted me something random today. I didn’t respond so she called me a few hours later. I didn’t answer. I feel like I should freeze her out for awhile to show her that I’m not going to tolerate her games. I don’t want to let her set a precedent where she can hook up with me, then drop off the face of the earth, and then come back into my life whenever she pleases. How do you think I should handle her games moving forward?
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