Hey guys!

Sorry to post this here, but i cant open a topic in the relationship section yet.

So, here is the thing:
I got a girlfriend, been together since 8 months now. Last year in june or so she broke up with her ex boyfriend. She told me numerous times, that in the last one and a half years of their relationsship they were living like good friends. (having sex only once in 2 months and stuff, because he didnt want more often, dont know why)

Ok, so she broke up with him, but they always kept contact on a more friendship level like she said.

Yesterday, he asked her if she would fly with him to turkey because he gets an eye laser operation there. She asked me and i was like "yeah, why not?". I think she wanted to hear something different, because she asked me why this is not annoying me and if i dont care and stuff. Crazy!

Maybe she would have liked that i freak out? Thats not what i'm about, i kept telling her that i'm good with that. Especially when its with her ex, the "no sex god". (didnt tell her that, thats what i think) In general, i cant lock her away anyway. But maybe letting her go with her ex is giving her the stage for doing something stupid? I dont know.

Ok, so i told her if she wanted to go to that 3 day trip with her ex, i'm fine with it. Before sleeping, she came up with stuff like "you are pushing me away" and "you dont like me". That shit kreeps me out inside, but i didnt show her. Just told her that this kind of thoughts are silly, all in a calm way.

So, how should one handle a situdation like that?

Leomico, that was beyond stupid, do not let her go on that trip, what is wrong with you dude, common sense, and your logic horrible..you do not over react, if she ask you???

Hb: Can i go on that trip

pua: you can do whatever you want, but actions have consequences, go on the 3 day trip with your ex...I will call Sonia, or whoever and ask her if she wants to hang out, as friends, nothing is going to happen, while you are on the trip..

Hb: who is sonia:

pua: A friend of mine, nothing is going to happen, you trust me right?


She will not go on the trip...Trust me, next time send her down here with me on trip please, i promise as a fellow pua nothing will happen...

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To me, it doesn't seem like you're pushing her away. On the contrary, you're trying to be mister nice guy and make her feel less pressure from the relationship. She is looking for trouble and wants to test you a little.

Just try and change your attitude a little and make her acknowledge that you are running the course of the relationship, not her. So, why not tell her that she can go in turkey but if she does, to stay there because you don't care anymore? Or try and make a joke telling her your second, but not less important, girlfriend will be coming to your house just to hang out and play? The possibilities are numerous!

Thanks for your answers.

I made some jokes about it. Her Ex got a girlfriend right now, at least he says so. But he said to my girlfriend he wont tell her about. So i told my galfriend, that if she is going on that trip, i will have to take care about his girlfriend while they are away. Funny stuff like that, kind of.

The thing is, when i think about it, i really dont care. Maybe this feeling changes if she is gone for sure, but right now, i got tons of other stuff to do in my life. And if they should fuck on that trip, who cares - i'm not. I already cheated on her, she doesnt know - went to the hoes... another story.

I would normally agree 100% with this but to me you are wrong for all the right reasons tbfh

Hell I would of said the same thing, but given the post above my perspective on this is : he actually is subconsciously wanting to break up with this girl and move on, she wants the same or is wanting to give him a warning there are issues.

This is how I see the underlying communication going on between them from the original post now :

Her: Hey if im honest im finding things are not really working out, your busy doing other stuff I dont feel im important in your life, I have an old flame who wants to take me away on holiday, if I go I'll most likely sleep with him. This will be a good way to confirm the end this relationship.

him: yeah I agree with you the relationship isnt working out I dont have the time/energy for it or simply dont care anymore, I give you permission to go away with him so we can get the ball rolling with ending this.


why?

1) His initial post shows he doesnt mind her going over there with him, even though he knows full well that something will probably happen, even skills confirms this logic by saying the same thing and coming to the same conclusions but from the antagonists perspective. This would be exactly the same if it was a guy going away with a ex GF, EVERYONE knows the score and what will likely happen, especially when involving someone that they were attracted too at some point.

2) The above post by him.

Leomico, im not trying to mind fuck you here just giving an observation and that you might want to reassess your current situation.

Being that you are so busy that your relationship has run it's course but you havent really noticed because it's almost background noise/status quo to what you are finding important at the moment and in some subconscious manner trying to tie up loose ends or offer an opportunity to get out of it while being on the moral high ground. Which will not be the case if you are the one putting her into a situation were she will do something to end it: she is letting you decide.

Dont take this post as gospel and what you should or shouldnt do, look at it, digest it apply it to the situation and what YOU think and decide for yourself.

Biggus you are right maybe i am personalizing his experience, since i would not let my girl facebook, talk or anything else with exes.. fuck that shit! Call me afc or whatever ain't happening, specially for us that we game on a day to day bases girls with boyfriends, married etc...

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Skills exactly! There is NO fucking way anyone with half a brain anyone would allow their partner to do this unless they want a specific result to occur. You are speaking from experience here which is 100% valid. But he is looking to me like he wants a specific result to occur then to be able to justify his choices from it, even if he doesnt say so. As I said i would 1000% agree with that POV but I HAVE to query wether that is what he really wants. I think we would both be interested in his input here, so we can clarify weather he sees this as a hurdle to over come or if it has a 'fuckton' of unconscious subtex which he needs to realise he is doing an adjust his response accordingly!

TBH a problem what I feel occurs on these forums ALOT is people issue a problem but do not clarify the finer points and expect people to comment based soley on a set situation and not the greater picture.

Thanks guys for your answers!

As you can imagine, my gf is still pissed off about my reaction on that topic. Now she is going with him only because i said it's ok. (she refused to come with him before she asked about my opinion)

Lesson learned, i'll never do this again. Thought my reaction was "grown up", but it isnt in this scenario.

Anyway, we'll see how things work out - at least i got the PUA sources to pimp myself when i need to get back to the game.

Sorry to just come on from nowhere but Skills, You changed my whole POV on this matter! I usually say its okey, because i dont wanna be the guy who doesnt let you talk to your ex and shit, but inside i dont like it, because i know what could happen. But f*ck dat now!
Im gonna start being more like that "hey if you go with your ex, then im also going to meet my ex"

And I think Girls Want a guy who gets a bit "jealous".
I call it "jealous" because You are really just protecting something you love, like or whatever you wanna call it.

So i just wanna thank you for changing my POV on this matter!


Alot of love!
PRookie!

Well, maybe she had to go, but if you would have said 'No' and that you're not comfortable with that, and you want her here, she would've loved to stay back.

What you did and the way you said it, conveyed that you're just blithely indifferent about the whole scenario. That 'you don't give a shit'.

If she means something to you, let her know. Otherwise, let her go.

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Wait dude! it is not jealousy, the routine i gave you is to make a point/an analogy, so she can feel herself in your shoes, do not make it look out of revenge....

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Yeah thats why i wrote "jealous" because its not really jealousy, its just you Giving her her own medicine.

Also remember there are times when girls are shit testing your jealousy, in that case act like you do not give a fuck, there are other times when the stuff is real, like actually going on a trip with the ex, that is not a shit test, that some atomic bomb, but anyways, as i always say calibration, but in this case your girl has big ass balls to on a trip with the ex, that is crossing boundaries, you never want to reward bad behavior or let your girl cross boundaries...

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Learn the proper way to maximize your results in a dancefloor/club environment, check out my blog and youtube channel:
http://www.dancefloorseduction.com

Dancefloor/Club game youtube channel:
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