Hey guys, I've been stuck on this for a while and could use some input.

First off, a bit about my situation. My wife and I have been married for more than 10 years and decided on an open marriage about a year ago. I'm not looking for opinions on this as it was a decision we made together and are very happy with. I travel allot for work so these trips are the ideal for this arrangement. I don't play around in my hometown though as it's not a big city, and I don't want to run into anyone with my family in tow.

Here's the issue:

I pride myself on being honest and authentic regarding everything in life. I learned the hard way (practice) that lying, cheating etc. just mess with your life. I'm in my mid-30's now and am on a path I am happy with.

When it comes to women though, this is a really tricky thing. I don't want to lie about my personal situation, because again, I believe much of my happiness and power in life comes from living honestly... but in my practice, moving on to this topic with women has proven to be really tricky.

I tend to consider women in 1 of 2 categories:

First, anywhere outside of a bar type setting I tend to go into my interactions with women without expectations... just for the fun of it, and with the goal of expanding my network of interesting people. The thing is, with this approach, it eventually comes up that I'm in a relationship. We're relating as people and getting to know each other truthfully, so not surprising. In this category, I find in short order that I'm in the friend zone, and it's tough for me to work my way out. The long-term vision I have is that my life will be filled with interesting people that know about my situation, and thus I can naturally move towards sex with awesome women who know this and are cool with it... but it's a long process (I don't tend to blurt out that I have an "open relationship" early on - sorta creepy).

The second category is with women I envision as one-night stand potentials. I've spoken to some female friends on this, and the general advice I get is "hot girls expect guys to lie a bit, so don't worry about misleading them about your "real life" if your goal is sex that night". Most think that there is no chance for success if the conversation steers towards the open relationship, so the advice is to completely avoid it.

For me though, this feels contradictory to what I want to put out in the world. It feels a tad misleading... and I also feel that if the girl found out afterwards, she'd be upset.

So I'm torn guys. What would you suggest? Am I taking this honesty thing too far when it comes to same-night lays? Is it really a big deal to steer away from the relationship convo if it comes up in a 1-night stand scenario?

Thanks,
JMan_01