I was wondering if there are any Exercises that any of you know of that make you better able to make quick comebacks or comments that are witty, funny, cocky-funny or preferably all three. I am great when i have time and can think of what to say (texting) but when im on the spot im better than average but still not amazing. Anything that will help me with this problem would be greatly appreciated

Watch copious amounts of Fresh Prince of Bel-Air episodes. Haha!

Seriously, I would encourage you to start just saying the first thing that comes to mind for a while. Don't edit, don't censor (have some cooth and only do this when sarging, not at work, or with family and friends). Literally, doesn't matter if it's PC or even on topic. You think something, say something. Honestly, not sure if that will work. But worth a shot at least a couple of times. What do some other guys think?

I'm not sure about exercises. I think it may be one of those things you either have or don't have. Which doesn't mean a thing. Work on your strengths. Have some standard cocky/funny responses and such that can be applied to a range of situations, and try using them in those cases.

Let me know if you try either of these, and how it worked, if it did.

Listen to Howard Stern, watch late night TV show hosts such as Letterman, Jimmy Fallon. Mystery has quite a bit of stuff in there, D Angelo too

Comebacks are hard.

For dealing with asshole guys here is one that never fails, a freebie for you:

"Hey, stop acting like a girl"

its a killer, they freeze like little pussies