So this girl that i've slept with a few times and stuff, we were almost heading towards an LTR when she says we're not a good match for each other. I've already made my intentions clear that I want her (hopefully in a non-AFC way), and her reason is that we were "too alike for each other", and I was LJBFed.

Is it just bullshit or is there anyway to overcome this?

Just agree with her and keep effing her.

Attempting to convince her wont yield the result you want.

If she feels your not a good match this cannot be won by convincing her.. if you got together she'd probably make things difficult as she already has decided it wont work.

Keep doing what your doing, and plow through the resistance.. do it by showing her, not asking/vocally projecting.

She says you're not a good match because she cant see in her eyes it would work.. this could be for multiple reasons.

What differences are there from what you have to what you want? seeing multiple people? if this is the case work towards exclusiveness...... slowly.

so what should i say to her now? she texted me saying the words i just said, that "we're too much alike for her".

i have no intention of asking her what she means, because it looks so needy and desperate to want to have her. but on the other hand i don't want to completely cut off this avenue because we did indeed have a connection. she said that "we are almost a good match, just not completely".

Easy answer is - NOTHING! Say Nothing.. or "OK, WHATEV"


Never ceases to amaze me how people can get so emotionally invovled with someone they're not even with.

You know the only way you got that result is by asking to move the relationship forward.. You never ask, you never do anything you wait and they do it when they realise that they need to in order to keep you.

She's either testing you or she's letting you down easy.

You gotta care a lot less. Be like "ok, whatev" and start see other people..

it's the only way to have a chance, she's clearly not interested in you now.. and if there is no chance you'll at least be seeing other people.

Worst case Scenario she's looking for some grand romantic gesture for you to "change your ways" and then she will evaluate, but she'll have no respect for you and you will be her bitch till the end of time.. If this is the case, tell her to get fucked.. You shouldn't have to change who you are for anyone.

Plenty more fish son



EDIT: - CHRIST I properly read your response.. "you too much alike!?" Son, thats her being nice.. she's not interested in you any more than what you are... move on.

Girls are always up for a relationship.. hell they all want that security/comfort. If they say something along those lines.. It's because it's not YOU they want to be in relationship with.

i just replied this

ME: for the record, i agree with you that we're too much alike, and i'd just figure you out straight away
HER: dude, i don't want to be involved with a similar personality, i'd go crazy. i just need someone who complements me
ME: what are you talking about woman, i'm agreeing with you here lol
HER:

I just left it at that. Sucks that I have to see her tomorrow for a 4 day long performance, but oh well. Whatever happens.

I SAID NOTHING! - You gave her even more power, you actually have validated her initial thoughts.... Son that back and forth makes me cringe.. See, Now will you move on!? - keep fuccking her if you can.. but you ain't gunna get what you want here.

She wants someone.. Just not you.

i'm just wondering about the different POVs here though. some say i should just agree with her, others say i shouldn't do anything. i know i should move on nonetheless, just interested in the different views

I see, well.. when unsure.. say nothing. it's not easy to do.. but leave them wondering...... you know whats up.. its her job to find out - the trick is to have her interested enough to want to .

i see. the thing is she has been a wonderful friend and we click on so many levels, it's just this last barrier i guess.

this is what always confuses me. some say that agreeing with her keeps things light and keeps her guard down for future opportunities, and meanwhile work on my inner game and see what happens, while others (like you, for instance) say that intrigue is good. is there any reason to choose one over another?

Look, Its a major problem. You don't do anything in this case. So try to forget her and start a new life with new partner...

It all depends if you wanna screw her/ or befriend her... you really cant have both. Looking at this very black and white.. you are friendly with your lays, and you certainly can instil sexual interest with friends. - to be more effective work out what you want and do the right things for either side.. if you wanna screw her, MAN TO WOMAN none of this "friend" shit..

Agreeing with her makes you "Agreeable" it represents spinelessness and the inability to stand up for what you believe in. .. Nothing wrong with agreeing with her if you actually agree.. don't do it to manipulate..

In this instance you did not agree, because you want to be with her.. you don't think her analysis is correct.

- intrigue is essential if you wanna screw them.. mystery/keeping them guessing plays to their emotions and lets them fabricate all the crazy shit in their head. If you give them all the answers you will seem less enticing than had you not, your taking all the fun out of it.. Like doing a puzzle but someone's given you the answer already.. just seems tedious now. Never underestimate the power of a woman left to her own imagination. They will talk themselves right into however you left them -

why do you think "distance makes the heart grow fonder!?" because you give them the opportunity to create in their own mind whatever they want and if they are happy/impressed, they turn it good.

The issue tho here is you probably care and are analysing it too much.. if you step back and pursue more woman you wont make this mistake, you wont say too much because you just wont be able to... it's about Being not doing..



Remember too.. there is ALWAYS future opportunities.. and those opportunities only get more likely to have a different result if you have space/time

That comment was golden. Maikuljay's got a point. I also support it; what the girl said was bs and if you don't believe in it, don't even acknowledge it. Don't agree with her, don't play along, don't even acknowledge its existence, because if she knows that what she said is bs and you agreed to it, you're weak and that will turn her off. Just laugh about it and pretend she hasn't even say it. Be a challenge, if she thinks you guys are too alike, that might mean she probably figured you out and she's bored. If you don't respond like maikuljay said, she will start to imagine why you're so unresponsive and confront you on it. Don't answer her questions, just play it off and go about your business. Listen to maikujay, because what he says makes sense. You're not going to get an honest opinion like that a lot, and I advise to take it because I couldn't have said it better. Just chill and let things happen with this girl, she will come to you, let her chase you. Don't wait for her to chase you, go find something better to do. Good luck.



- Nelson

_________________
F*ck it, let's do it

"In order to fill your cup, you must first empty your cup" - Bruce Lee

"Becoming great with women is a by product of becoming great yourself" - Cory Skyy

hard as it may be, i will have to accept that fact that it's over. it sucks that i have to see her for the whole weekend, what kind of mindset should i be having? just to have fun and be a great friend?

Just have fun. And that's IT. No friend, no nothing.

You need to show this one what she lost. Maintain your distance. Be formal and polite. And just don't initiate conversations with her.

These 4 days are for your own enjoyment. It's got nothing to do with her anymore. Go out, talk to new women. Hell, talk to women in front of her.

She was the one who decided against anything more. Not you.

Now, go find that something more with a new girl.

Good luck.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "