Serious Approach Anxiety + Fear Of Rejection



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PostPosted: Sun Aug 07, 2011 8:12 am 
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Joined: Thu Jun 09, 2011 5:06 pm
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I'm new to this.. College bars/pubs just aren't usually my thing.

I'm recently trying to make the life transition from the nice sheltered no friend guy who used to play World Of Warcraft all day into a PUA and like Don Draper said, it would be difficult.

My biggest problem isn't holding a conversation or escalating.. wouldn't know. I can't open anyone.... I'm just the awkward/weird creep who sits there and stares.. I just can't walk up to anyone. I'm 23.. I don't think I'm.. too bad looking, I'm skinny but I do look kind of young for my age and I guess my horrible luck with women in the past as the nice guy has put the fear of rejection and anxiety into my head.

This sucks.. I'm tired of walking home every night depressed and wondering why I can't grow a pair and approach anyone.. has anyone ever fought this or was that creepy guy at the bar who used to just sit and stare at people instead of.. actually talking to the girls? Like they'd sit there and wait for confirmation like "did she look at me? If she looks back over here I'll go over." That type of ball-less douche coward mindset. Yep, that's me.

If anyone has ever been this person and has some tips to get over it, I'd love to hear it. I seriously couldn't walk up to anyone tonight @ College Night at a local pub here, it had probably 50-75 people there.


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PostPosted: Sun Aug 07, 2011 9:50 am 
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Joined: Mon Jun 20, 2011 1:49 pm
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I'm no expert, but I think calling yourself a creep doesn't help your self esteem.
Think positive.


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PostPosted: Sun Aug 07, 2011 10:23 am 
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Joined: Sat Jul 02, 2011 4:37 am
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here try this out,
get a piece of paper, and write out a number of approachs for a day, and a certain goal, try to up the approaches and amount of balls it takes for the goals as the days progress, all that really matters is you make an effort to approach for example,
day 1, tell 1 girl she is cute, do not start convo, just let her know
day 2, tell 2 girls you like something they are wearing, if they initiate chat then have a convo
day 3, tell 3 girls what is truly on your mind
etc. etc. etc. until
day 400, approach 400 girls tell them all OPEN UP IT IS SEXY TIME, (do this while naked)

p.s. day 400 wont work and you might get arressted


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PostPosted: Sun Aug 07, 2011 10:51 am 
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Joined: Tue Jul 26, 2011 12:33 pm
Posts: 506
Quote:
I'm new to this.. College bars/pubs just aren't usually my thing.
There is your issue. It sounds like general social anxiety. You have to start acclimating yourself. Just start opening people at the gas station, or the grocery store, then gradually socialize yourself. This is also from a fear of rejection. And to make matters worse a fear of rejection in front of a large group of people.

I (along with anyone else doing this) have the same hang ups. Approaching and escalating can be scary to be quite frank. It's intimidating. Your heart pounds, your palms get sweaty, you have that sense of dread in the pit of your stomach. It happens. What helped me (aside from the above) is at first just view it all as practice. Not serious. Also, remember your life won't be any different from meeting these women. You will probably never see them again, and if you do, it will be in a much better position.

Take a step back, calm your breathing, relax, try to have fun. Remember they're just practice until you get the hang of it. If you pretend to have fun long enough, you might actually start having it for real. If you do it enough, it'll just be instinct and that is where natural game comes from. You're a predator, you were just never taught how to use your teeth.

Keep in mind!!!!! There are tendencies among PUA to dehumanize or degrade these women. You are talking to someones daughter, and she is just as insecure and scared (if not more so) than you. No better, no worse.

Start by getting an opener (I just posted a good one in routines btw) and make a commitment to open at least 5 girls a day. That's it. If other opportunities present themselves, go along, but for two weeks you should just be focused on opening, then, try A phases, then C, then finally S.

With kino escalation, you'll have an idea if you and her are ready for it, just do it gradually. Tap on shoulder, arm around shoulder, playful punch, hug, touching her face, then you can kiss her. Always look for IOI's.


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PostPosted: Sun Aug 07, 2011 10:52 am 
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Joined: Tue Jul 26, 2011 12:33 pm
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Quote:
OPEN UP IT IS SEXY TIME
Haha, well played sir.


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